A Catalog Of Errors

, , , , | | Right | May 19, 2019

(I work in a call center that supports our product catalog. Normally, when customers call in looking for current pricing on an item, we like to put a record of the transaction on their account. If the customer is brand new to us, we like to get basic info from them so we can enter them into our system. Calls like this happen far too often:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Business]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I need to get pricing on one of your items.”

Me: “Okay. Can I get your account number, please?”

Caller: “I don’t have an account. This is my first time calling. I found you online.”

Me: “All right, can I get your business name and mailing address so I can get you set up in our system? It will just take a minute.”

Caller: “I am not going to give you that information. I don’t need you to start sending me a bunch of your garbage, or worse, sell it to someone else; I’ll be getting junk mail for the rest of my life.”

(Our company rules state if the customer starts getting agitated in a situation like this, we can give them the info they are looking for so they can go on with their day.)

Me: “Okay, sir, the price on this item is $[total].”

Caller: “Fine, and can you send me more info on this item?”

Me: “Would you like me to send you one of our catalogs? It has a lot of info on this specific product, as well as everything else we carry.”

Caller: “You guys have a catalog? Can you send me one?”

Me: *rolling eyes* “Yes, we can. Can I have your business name and mailing address, please?”

Data Protection Protects You From Callers Like Her

, , , , , | | Legal | May 16, 2019

(I am working in the collections department for an energy supplier when I get a call from a woman regarding a letter she says she received. She says she has a question about it. She gives me a reference number and I pull up the account.)

Me: “I’ve got the account up. May I ask your name?

(The customer gives me her name and it is the same as on the account. I then ask her to confirm address and DOB, both of which match what is on the account.)

Me: “Thank you for confirming those details. What was your query?”

Customer: “Yes, what is this letter all about?”

Me: “There is a balance on the account. It needs to be paid. You owe [amount].”

Customer: “No, I don’t.”

Me: “I’m not seeing any payments since [date].”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. This isn’t my account.”

Me: “Your name is on the account and you confirmed the address.”

Customer: “No, no. This letter isn’t for me. This is my friend’s account. My name is [Different Name].”

Me: “I’m sorry, madam, I can no longer discuss the account with you without the customer’s permission. Is the customer there?”

Customer: “You just broke the data protection law. You disclosed my friend’s details.”

Me: “Actually, madam, you committed fraud.”

Customer: “No, I didn’t. I never said I was the customer. You broke the law; now you’re going to lose your job. I’m going to report you.”

Me: “Actually, madam, when I asked what your name was, you told me it was [Customer’s Name], when I asked what your address was, you said it was [Customer’s address], and when I asked you to confirm your date of birth, you told me it was [Customer’s DOB]. You pretended to be your friend, which is fraud.”

Customer: “No, I didn’t. If you heard that, that’s your fault. I’m going to report you!”

Me: “You are welcome to report this to the data commissioner. I’ll get you the details if you like. We are obligated to report this incident, as well, and will send the recording of this call to prove what was said.”

Customer: “How dare you say that to me?! Get me your manager!”

(I got my manager, who took over the call. My manager promised to listen to the call and arranged to call the woman back once she had done so. Later that day, my manager came and spoke to me. She listened to the call and confirmed that the customer definitely committed fraud – she clearly said her name, address, and DOB were the customer’s. My manager gave me an anti-fraud form to fill in so it could be passed on to the police. During the call, the woman gave me her full name, and she gave my manager several phone numbers when they arranged the callback, one of which was a work number. My manager also got the woman’s address because she wanted me to write her a formal apology for accusing her of committing fraud. All these details went on the form we sent to the police.)

Some People Are Jerks And That’s Final

, , , , , | | Right | May 16, 2019

(I used to work for an electricity company’s call centre. I now work in an office, and I overhear this conversation. My coworker is not the nicest or brightest person in the world.)

Coworker: “I have a bill here that says, ‘final bill.’ I need to know if this bill is a final bill. No, I won’t tell you my account number! Tell me if it’s a final bill! I don’t care if you can’t see the account!”

(This goes on for a few minutes until she’s speaking in an utterly condescending tone.)

Coworker: “I know it says, ‘final bill,’ on it. I need to know if that means it’s a final bill. Derrrr!”

(The poor soul on the other end finally convinces her that yes, “final bill” means, “final bill.”)

Coworker: *muttering to herself* “How stupid are some people? How hard is it to tell me if a final bill is a final bill? That’s all I needed to know! Morons!”

(I’m so thankful I don’t work in an electricity call centre anymore. This, unfortunately, is a typical call.)

Something Off About That Call

, , | | Right | May 14, 2019

(I work at a call center for a major technology firm. I overhear one of my coworkers’ first calls of the day, early Saturday morning.)

Coworker: “No, sir, if your phone won’t actually turn on, then you don’t have to turn it off, as it’s already off.”

Everyone’s Password Is Rosebud

, , , , , | | Working | May 14, 2019

(I call my credit card company to activate my new card. While I am on hold I am on my laptop setting up online access for the account. I happen to be at the “Security Questions.” I notice the questions are kind of “fuzzy.” Instead of, “What is your mother’s maiden name?” there are questions like, “What brand of shampoo do you use?” The customer service representative comes on the line.)

Me: “Could you tell your management that their security questions are too vague?”

Customer Service Representative: “What do you mean?”

Me: “For example, one of the questions is, ‘What is your favorite movie?’ That answer can change based on my mood or even what movie I’ve seen recently.”

Customer Service Representative: “You will always be able to log in and change your answers.”

Me: “I can see it now: ‘Wow, that was a great movie! I can’t wait to go home and change my banking password!’”

Customer Service Representative: *chuckles*

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