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A Membership Flip

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests

(I am calling existing members to see if they want to change their plan. I need to speak to an adult female customer when a male answers the phone.)

Me: “Hi this is [My Name] calling from [Company]. Can I please speak to [Female Customer]?”

Customer: “How I do I know you’re from [Company]?”

Me: “Well, if I can speak to [Female Customer] I can give her the last few digits of her membership number.”

Customer: “You didn’t answer my question. How do I know you’re from [Company] and not a pedophile in prison?”

Me: *shocked* “Uh, okay. Have a great day. Bye.” *hangs up*

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Unable To Continue This Disc-ussion

| Orem, UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “I’m booting from your CD but it’s not working.”

(I find out they’re running an older version and ask them to email us a picture of the CD or box so we can supply the most recent download links.)

Customer: “I can’t take a picture. I don’t have that. I bought it five or six weeks ago.”

Me: “You don’t have the CD?”

Customer: “No. I only have a quick start guide that came in the box.”

Me: “If you don’t have the CD, how are you booting from the CD?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, that’s what’s in my computer. I guess that’s the CD.”

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It’s Too Much Trouble To Troubleshoot

, | WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Popular, Technology

(I work in an inbound call center that works as a hardware help desk for veterinary clinics who purchase our products. On a relatively slow day for us, I get the following phone call.)

Me: “Hardware Support. My name is [My Name]. How can I assist you?”

Customer: “Yes, I am having trouble with our label printer.”

Me: “I can help you with that. On which computer are you having problems with this printer?”

Customer: “Several of them.”

Me: “Okay, I can check on the server for you to make sure it is shared correctly, but I also need to be remoted in to check on the ones you are having problems with.”

(At this point I give the customer a session code to put into the server so I can remote in and check settings.)

Customer: “Thanks, I will put that into the computer. Have a great day.” *hangs up*

(I am slightly confused as we need the customer on the line to troubleshoot any printer problems as when we print pages we don’t actually know if it prints. So I call her back.)

Customer: “[Clinic], how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, you called in about needing help with your label printer; I need someone on the line to troubleshoot the issues with me.”

Customer: “Well, we are really busy here. Can’t you just do it?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I am not sure what the problem is and I can’t just guess. If you are having problems printing I can check the settings on the computers you are having problems with, but if I print anything, I won’t know if it worked.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know what computers are having the problem, so you will just have to figure it out.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have the ability to do that unless I get remoted into the computers with the problem.”

Customer: “I have 30 computers and I just don’t have the time to walk around and find out which ones have the problems and which ones don’t. I have 20+ customers standing in line waiting to be checked in for the weekend. You just need to fix it.”

(Unsure how to proceed, I explain the issue to one of my colleagues. He suggests to explain to the customer exactly what she is asking me to do and what steps would have to be taken for me to complete the troubleshooting.)

Me: “Ma’am, for me to do what you are asking I would have to remote into every computer, kick off the person currently working and check the settings, print a test label, then call you back to see if one printed. I would have to do this 30 times and interrupt your work each time.”

Customer: “There has to be another way. Just fix it.”

Me: “There is another way. If someone could find out for me what computers are not able to print, I would only have to access those computers and speak with that one employee.”

Customer: “I don’t have time to have one of my employees do your job. Forget it. I don’t know why we pay for you to fix things when we are the ones who have to fix them.” *she hangs up*

(I sat for a moment and a colleague walked up to me and explained that every time she called in, if she needed to help or it took longer than five minutes, she hung up on us. We have since stopped supporting her clinic.)