Not Open To Interpretation

| OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Language & Words

(I work in a call center. We have a dedicated line for Spanish-speaking customers, but for anyone speaking anything else, we would use an interpreter service. I am on a call between the interpreter and the customer.)

Me: “Can you tell him that, since his phone has water damage, his warranty doesn’t cover it?”

(The interpreter translates this, and the customer shouts angrily for a few seconds.)

Coworker: “What did he say?”

Interpreter: “I don’t want to tell you.”

Coworker: “Oh, come on, now I really want to know.”

Interpreter: “Ok, well…”

(The interpreter repeats back a profanity laced diatribe about me, my family, the phone and the company.)

Coworker: “…wow, he said all that in that one little sentence?”

No Vocation For Location, Part 7

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Thank you for calling [airline]; this is [my name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I want to book a flight from here to Los Angeles.”

Me: “Okay, what city are you departing from?”

Caller: “I want to go to Los Angeles.”

Me: “From where?”

Caller: “From here.”

Me: “What city are you in?”

Caller: “The same as you.”

Me: “I’m in Baltimore, Maryland. Is that where you are?”

Caller: “No. Can’t you tell from my phone number?”

Me: “We have no way of knowing where you’re calling from. If you tell me what city you’d like to depart from, I can look up the flights for you.”

Caller: “Well if you don’t know where I am, what good are you?” *click*

Related:
No Vocation For Location, Part 6
No Vocation For Location, Part 5
No Vocation For Location, Part 4

Waiting For That Light Bulb Moment That Never Comes

| USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(I work in a call center making camping reservations for several state parks.)

Me: “Okay, are you looking for an electric or a non-electric site?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “Well, one site has electricity for you to hook an RV or a camper up to, and the non-electric has no hookups.”

Customer: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “An electric site has electricity. A non-electric site does not.”

Customer: “I still don’t understand.”

Me: “Um… an electric site has an outlet for you to plug things into. A non-electric site does not.”

Customer: “So… what’s the difference again?”

Me: *sighs* “Are you camping in a tent or an RV?”

(I ended up being on the call for 40 minutes. The customer continued asking me the difference between an electric site and a non-electric site.)

A Large Intelligence Gulf (Of Mexico)

| Orlando, FL, USA | Bigotry, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

Customer: “So, where are you located?”

Me: “In Orlando, Florida.”

Customer: “Ugh! I’m sick of all you foreigners taking jobs from us hard-working Americans!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am an American citizen. Florida is a state in America. Everyone who works in this call center is American.”

Customer: “I’m not stupid! I know Florida is in Mexico! I want to talk to an AMERICAN!”

Not Addressing The Problem

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(A customer calls in to report problems with their cell phone. I’ve determined it is a network issue.)

Me: “So, I will just need to know the location where you are so that I can tell the technician.”

Customer: “What? I’m not giving you the address! That’s not my job! I just need you to come out and fix it. It’s in Chicago.”

Me: “Well, in order for our techs to know what tower to fix, they need to know where you are having the issues. Without an address, I can’t put in the ticket.”

Customer: “No! I am not giving you the address! I am so sick and tired of this stuff! I had the same problem with [other provider]! You don’t need an address to fix it; you just don’t want to help!”

Me: “I do want to help, which is why I need an address. Even if the system would let me put the ticket in without an address, you’d then be waiting for months for a resolution while we check every tower in Chicago. In order to help, I need to know where to send my techs.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I have a business to run! I don’t have time for this s***!”

Me: “It looks like you have a water-sprinkler company. If one of your customers reported a problem with a pipe you laid, would you go around the entire city checking every pipe, or would you require that customer to give you an address to assist?”

Customer: *huffs* “That is not the same thing, and you know it! Now get someone out here immediately!”

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