Trying To Drive The Job Away

| Frederick, MD, USA | Right | May 29, 2015

(I work for a health insurance company.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name].”

Caller: “Hi, I was just cut off by a bus on the highway and I demand you fire the driver!”

Me: “I’m not sure that I can help you with that.”

Caller: “The bus had your company’s logo on the side of it. Fire the driver!”

Me: “Where are you?”

Caller: “Miami. Aren’t you?”

Me: “No, I’m in Maryland, and I’m sure the bus just had an ad for our product on it. We wouldn’t own the bus.”

Caller: “Well, transfer me to someone who can fire the bus driver.”

Channeling Through Some Good

| USA | Right | May 26, 2015

(I work in a call center for paid TV service. They’ve recently lost a major broadcasting contract over the price for some VERY popular channels. Said channel viewers are known for being… let’s say fanatical.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Provider]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “What’s happened to [Channel]?”

(I explain the expiring contract, reasons behind it, and how we are trying to resolve it. Then I brace for the outrage I am getting all too used to.)

Customer: “Why they being so mean to you guys?”

Me: *dumbstruck over this response* “I… uh. don’t know but I guess everyone wants more sometimes.”

Customer: “They’re just being greedy! I’ll wait this out; don’t let them get what they want!”

Me: “Uhh… well, I guess I’ll report that as feedback.”

(This was hands down the most polite person on this issue I have talked to so far. This call single-handedly made every other call that day seem much better!)

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Cooking On Autopilot

| ON, Canada | Working | May 20, 2015

(I work for a call center for a hospital. I have to answer with the same greeting every time I hear a ‘beep’ in my headset letting me know a call is about to be connected. I am sitting in the break room, reading and not paying attention to my surroundings. My manager walks in and puts something in the microwave. The microwave dings.)

Me: “[Major Hospital], [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Manager: *looks at me like I just sprouted a second head before bursting out laughing*

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Almost Got Physical

| Canada | Right | May 13, 2015

(I am calling with a complaint that one of my games won’t launch.)

Me: “Hi there, I’d like to register a complaint.”

Call Center: “Of course, sir. Sorry to hear that; how may I help you?”

Me: “Yeah, it seems your service has a bug up its a** and is trying to make me buy a game TWICE!”

Call Center: “Okay, sir, I understand. Can I get your account name and number?”

(We go through the check in questions and she starts looking through my account and transactions in the marketplace.)

Call Center:“Sir, I am seeing achievements on your gamer-tag but in accounts I see no online purchase for this game. Are you certain you bought the game online?”

Me: “OF COURSE I AM! I buy all of my games digital now. What’s the point in this extra hard drive if I have to…”

(At this point I open my drawer and see the game in question’s physical copy lying right there. The realization that I just sat through nearly an hour of robots and wait times to complain that my console wouldn’t play a game without the disc in it slowly sets in.)

Me:“…Um, It would seem as though I actually did buy the disc for this one… I’m going to go ahead and find a very tall building to jump off of.”

Call Center: *chuckling* “Please don’t do that, sir, but do have a good day!”

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Don’t Commit The Crime If You Can’t Do The Overtime

| Greenville, SC, USA | Working | May 11, 2015

(We’re in training at a call center for a large, national corporation, working directly for the company rather than through an outsourcer. Of 18 people in the training class, 7 of us came from another local call center, this one run by an outsourcer known for their less than quite legal practices, but being in a ‘Right to Work’ state, the employees don’t speak up about it out of fear of losing our jobs.)

Supervisor: *addressing the class to go over some information on our new schedules once we get out of the training class* “So, any questions?”

Coworker #1: “Will we be able to get all of our hours every week here?”

Supervisor: *clearly confused* “Well, we hope that you’ll come in and stay for your regular shifts. If not, then we’re going to have a problem.”

Coworker #2: “No, what he means is, at the place we worked before, they had this thing called voluntary time off, but it wasn’t voluntary.”

Me: *seeing that the supervisor still seems confused* “What they would do if it was slow, they’d log us out and not let us back in. They called it VTO but—”

Trainer: *misunderstanding* “Oh, no, if you accidentally log out during your shift here, they’ll come find you and—”

Coworker #1: “Oh, no, we didn’t log out accidentally; they’d log us out and send us home because they didn’t want to pay us.”

Supervisor: *now looking a bit shocked* “No, we won’t send you home early unless you volunteer.”

Coworker #1: “Do you guys cut our lunches when it gets busy? Or move our shifts around all day?”

Supervisor: “No, your lunches don’t get cut back. If you’re scheduled for a 45 minute lunch, you get the whole 45 minutes. That’s the law. We have to do that.”

Coworker #3: “What about overtime? How much can we work in a week?”

Supervisor: “Oh, you can work up to four hours a day, but your stats have to be up to par. It’s a privilege, not a right.”

(I can see him cringe, as hands go up from the group of us from the other call center.)

Coworker #4: “Only four hours a day? What if we’re used to working more?”

(At this point, all of us are staring at Coworker #5, who was known for working open to close seven days a week at our previous call center.)

Supervisor: *leaning towards our particular group, and emphasizing* “You can’t work more than four hours of overtime in a day. Only 12 hours in a shift, because THAT’S THE LAW. And you get three breaks on a ten hour shift, because THAT’S THE LAW, TOO. I don’t know what kind of sweat shop you people came from, but we like to do things right around here.”

(At this point the group of us from the other call center are staring at each other in shock.)

Coworker #1: *in amazement* “You mean… [National Company] actually takes care of their people?”

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