Now Hold Up A Minute

| Vernon, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

Me: “Hi, Mike speaking.”

Caller: “Hellooo?!”

Me: “Hi, Mike speaking.”

Caller: “Oh, thank goodness. Please tell your other associate he was incredibly rude and he needs better listening skills.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but who were you speaking with?”

Caller: “I’m not even sure. I was talking with some lady and she put me on hold. Then next thing I know, some guy picked up and wouldn’t stop talking about the mayor.”

Me: “…The mayor?”

Caller: “Yes. I kept telling him that I wasn’t interested and yet he kept talking about the bloody mayor. Then after that he just kept telling about the weather. He was very frustrating.”

Me: “Ma’am, that was our hold music. You were just listening to the news on the radio station that we use.”

Caller: *hangs up*

A Sunny Disposition Vs. Unyielding Opposition

| BC, Canada | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company], Mindy speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Well, MINDY, why the f*** isn’t my TV working?”

Me: “I have no idea. Let’s get a look at you account and see. Account number or phone number, please?”

Caller: *gives info* “Took long enough to get through. I waited here for over and hour!”

Me: “Thanks for the account info. Sorry about the long waits; we had some challenges earlier with certain equipment. Can you tell me what is happening on the screen of your TV when your PVR is on?”

Caller: “Wait, are you qualified for this?”

Me: “Yes, I am absolutely trained and ready to help out with your issue. It is actually a pretty easy fix, likely.”

Caller: “Are you sure you don’t need to transfer me to Tech?”

Me: “No, I am Tech.”

Caller: “A chick tech? Well, okay, but I hate wasting my time with people like you. It’s frozen… some grey and blue boxes.”

Me: “Thanks for the info. It is an easy fix like I suspected. Can you please disconnect the power cord from the PVR for about 15 seconds, and then plug it back in?”

Caller: “I’ve already done that a couple times, you know, because I’m not an idiot!”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well, let’s try it again. Let me know when it is unplugged and I’ll check some things on my end while it is unplugged.”

Caller: “Seriously?” *sighs* “Okay. It’s unplugged.”

(I check his connection, and notice he’s still online.)

Me: “Oh, that’s weird. It seems like it is still online on my end. Are all of the lights off of the front of the box?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Oh, then it seems like you probably accidentally pulled the HDMI cord, not the power. Pull the power at the very right hand edge.”

(At this, I see the box go off.)

Me: “Awesome, thanks! Plug it back in now and let me know when the time shows.”

Caller: “Okay, the time is showing.”

Me: “Great! Let’s power it back on and see if everything is working. It all looks good on my end.”

Caller: “Yeah, it seems to be working.”

Me: “Awesome! Anything else I can help with tonight?”

Caller: “God, I f***ing hate when you you people say that! There are lots of things in my life I need help with, you stupid b****!”

Me: “Are any of those things issues with your Cable or Internet service?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Then I guess I’ve done my job! Thanks!” *click*

Acting Hypertext

| Denver, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I take escalated calls for a major cell phone provider.)

Caller: “My son received a text from a wrong number, so I had his number changed. The lady I was speaking to waived the $15 fee, but we had to program the new number in, so I want a $50 credit.”

(Note: it was one text asking for class notes, sent to the wrong number.)

Me: “I apologize that you received a text from a wrong number, and I’m glad we could help, but we can’t give a credit for programming a phone.”

Caller: *high-pitched, unintelligible, wordless shrieking*

Me: “Ma’am, please stop yelling at me.”

Caller: *shrieking doubles in volume*

Me: “Ma’am, this is solving nothing.”

Caller: *starts growling*

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to disconnect this call of you keep treating me this way. I don’t appreciate being yelled at.”

Caller: *calmly* “I’d like to speak to your supervisor.”

(Later…)

Supervisor: “Thanks for that call. I had to hang up on her. That was fun!”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 25

, | USA | Extra Stupid, Money

Me: “Thank you for calling the credit card department; my name is [Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I wanted to see when will I receive my new credit card.”

Me: “It will be my pleasure to assist you; can I have your social to see the application?”

(The customer provides her social, and after checking I see there are no credit cards in process of being offered to her. Still, I check the social in our database to see if she already has an account with us and didn’t receive the card. The account is there for a $300 dollar card, all maxed out.)

Me: “Ms. [Name], I do see that you already have an account with us. When did you apply for a second card?”

Customer: “I didn’t apply, but I already used all the money from the first card! I was wondering when you would give me another!”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 24
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 23
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

Your Scamming Days Are Numbered

| VA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Technology

(I’m working in a cell phone customer service call center. We can see the number the customers are calling from.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; this is [Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to report a phone that was stolen.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. What’s the number?”

(The customer gives me the exact same number of the phone the customer is calling from.)

Me: “Uh, sir. That’s the number that you are on.”

Customer: “S***!” *hangs up*

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