Artificial Unintelligence, Part 2

| Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Welcome to the support team. You’re speaking with [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Check claim status.”

(I realise he thinks I’m a recording.)

Me: “Not a problem, sir. Can I ask which service your claim was for?”

Caller: “Skip questions.”

Me: “Um… sir, I do need to know the details of your claim so I can track it?”

Caller: “Eugh! Stupid machine… SKIP questions!”

Me: “Um.. I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not a machine. I need to know—”

Caller: “Main menu!”

Me: “Sir, I’m not a recording. I can help with your enquiry, but I have to ask a few questions first.”

Caller: “Oh, thank god. A person!”

Related:
Artificial Unintelligence

Made An A** Out Of Just You

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work in a call centre quality assurance and I listen to the following call about a nationwide mail-in rebate campaign:)

Irate Customer: “You guys told me I’d get a gift card for gas, and what I’m getting in mail today is some stupid rebate voucher that I have to mail back to you to get my money!”

Agent: “I apologize, sir. This is an unusual instance of misinformation. Are you sure the agent you talked to before spoke about a gift card? Or about a rebate voucher?”

Customer: “She talked about a voucher!”

Agent: “Oh, so, you did know this was a voucher, not a gift card?”

Customer: “Well, she did say a voucher, but I ASSUMED it was a gift card!”

Can’t Avoid This Going Down The Toilet

| Rochester, NY, USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement

(I take emergency maintenance calls from apartment complexes when the office is closed. A woman calls around 2 am.)

Caller:  “Why should I have to leave my apartment when I have to use the bathroom? That’s just not right.”

Me: “I’ll call maintenance right away and send someone right over.”

Caller:  “Oh, he’s already here fixing the toilet. He’s been working on it for a while.”

Me: “Ma’am, if maintenance is already working on the problem, I don’t know what you would want me to do.”

Caller: “I thought you could tell me what I’m supposed to do until the toilet is fixed.”