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You’re Not My Number One Choice

, , , , | Right | October 26, 2021

This takes place after determining we will need to do some more work to troubleshoot what’s going on with the customer’s product.

Me: “And what’s the number to call you back at?”

Caller: “I should be in your system.”

The caller repeats his name.

Me: “Yes, and there are three different numbers listed here. Which one should we call you back at?”

Caller: “I’m. In. The. System!

I sigh internally and look at the first number listed.

Me: “Would that be [number]?”

Caller: “No, that’s my work phone. Call me on my cell for this because I’ll be on the floor.”

He rattles off another number that is not actually listed and then pauses.

Caller: “I guess that’s why you asked.”

I get that it’s annoying to have to repeat simple information all the time, but seriously, call center reps are not mind readers.

We Hope The Managers Laughed Right In His Face

, , | Right | October 23, 2021

This guy kept calling in to tell worse-than-dad jokes and I always seemed to get him. The third time around, I kept trying to ask him about his account.

Guy: “You know what? I’m going to file a complaint against you for not having a sense of humor!”

Not that it made any difference. He only had my first name, and I did not give him my location — there were three people with my first name in my location, not to mention the possible hundreds across five call centers.

From A Different Q Continuum

, , , | Right | October 21, 2021

A customer calls and they have a voucher that they want to use for an online order.

Caller: “The voucher doesn’t work! There’s some weird sign on it that doesn’t exist on any keyboard. It couldn’t be a letter, since it doesn’t exist in any alphabet we know about.”

The unknown thing? The letter Q.

We spoke the same language, they sounded maybe a bit older than me, and I got them to read the rest of the voucher up.

After the call, I thought that they had maybe never really used the letter Q in capital, only in lower case. But still… the letter Q doesn’t exist in any alphabet?

You Did Your Part

, , , | Right | October 19, 2021

This comes at the tail end of taking an order over the phone.

Caller: “Oh, crap, I need to look up one thing that I forgot to write down your number for. One second.”

Me: “Sure. Do you have a description? I might be able to find it faster.”

Caller: *Curtly* “I know what I’m doing.”

Having done my part and offered to help find it, I dork around online during at least three minutes of silence while I listen to him typing.

Caller: “Well, shoot, maybe you just don’t sell it. I can’t seem to find it.”

Me: “What description do you have?”

Caller: “It’s a [specific item].”

Me: “That’s [specific item] that has [side detail]?”

Caller: “Yeah. Should be a basic thing.”

Me: *Less than five seconds later* “That’s our [part number], and it’s [price].”

Caller: *Sheepishly* “I guess I should’ve told you that five minutes ago.”

Addressing The Lack Of Addressing, Part 4

, , , | Right | October 15, 2021

This takes place after I help a fairly clueless customer track down what he needs.

Caller: “I need to place this order. When will I get it?”

Me: “Once I get the shipping address from you, I can give you a better idea of lead time. Where are we shipping this?”

Caller: “Uh…”

The caller stammers for a few seconds and then mumbles out a street address.

Me: “And the city?”

Caller: “PA.”

Me: “Okay, and the city?”

Caller: “Pennsylvania. PA.”

Me: “Yes, that’s the state, but I need the city, as well.”

Caller: “Oh. Uh… I don’t know that.”

Me: “What about the zip code? I can get it from that.”

Caller: “Uh… um… I don’t know the zip code.” *Long silence* “So, when will I receive that?”

Me: “You’re going to have to call us back when you have the full address.”

Addressing The Lack Of Addressing, Part 3
Addressing The Lack Of Addressing, Part 2
Addressing The Lack Of Addressing