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2001: A Honda Odyssey

, | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Time, Transportation

(I work in an inbound call center, handling customers who want quotes for new policies.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, what’s the year of that first vehicle?”

Woman: “Oh? It’s a 20… 20… Let me check.”

Me: “Take your time.”

Woman: “It’s a 2020! Yes, a 2020.”

Me: “I don’t think that’s possible, ma’am. Could it be 2002?”

Woman: “No! It’s a 2020!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but those haven’t been invented yet. We’re still a few years off.”

Woman: “It’s a 20… Oh. 2001.”

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Can’t Ever Get The Delivery Right

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Popular

(A customer calls in about a change in her order delivery date. The call comes in on a Tuesday.)

Customer: “When I placed my order it told me my order would be delivered on Friday but I just got an email saying it would now be delivered on Wednesday.”

Me: *confused at the problem* “Ma’am, I’m sorry about the confusion but sometimes our shipping carriers are able to deliver packages sooner than expected and we notify you to let you know.”

Customer: “Well, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You guys lied to me and this is very unethical.”

Me: “Ma’am, again I apologize about the change in delivery on this order. Is there a reason that you wanted the delivery on Friday versus receiving it earlier?”

Customer: “You’re missing the f****** point here, you idiot. You told me Friday and now you’re telling me Wednesday. What the hell kind of company are you running here?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I am missing the point here and I apologize. Your original email stated the Friday was an estimated delivery date. That was not a guaranteed delivery day and we were actually able to get the order to you two days earlier than previously thought.”

Customer: “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Clearly you are an uneducated high school dropout who doesn’t know your ass from a hole in the ground.”

Me: “Well, I can certainly call the carrier and place a temp hold on this delivery but you would then have to pick it up from their FC on Friday since you don’t want it early.”

Customer: “You idiot, I do want it early. You are missing my point. You guys lied to me and are an unethical company.”

(I am waiting on the whole “give me” part of her speech to come in at any point and BAM there it is.)

Customer: “I demand a full refund for my order for this.”

Me: “Well, you are certainly entitled to a refund within 30 days of delivery. You can refuse the delivery on Wednesday and once we receive the order back you will be automatically refunded, or once you receive your order you can create a return online or by calling us back. But you would have to pay a return shipping fee.”

Customer: “Why would I refuse it or send it back? I want my order but you’re going to refund me for all my troubles.”

Me: “Ma’am, we aren’t able to refund you for an order that you don’t return.”

Customer: “Well, then, I guess I’m just going to call and dispute the charge with my bank.”

Me: “Ma’am, you certainly have that right but at this point I have already forwarded this call information to our internal investigations team and we will provide your bank with the full recording of this call once we receive the charge back inquiry from them.”

(She then hung up. She then called back in 29 more times that day to try and get me fired. We then redirected the order back to us, issued a refund, and blocked her account, address, CC #, phone #, and IP address from being able to order from our system in the future and she is now banned from our site.)

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When Problem Number Two Is Problem Number One

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I’m at work at an Internet tech support call center when our team leader speaks up.)

Team Leader: “I’m just going to be in the lunch room for the next bit if you guys need me.”

Coworker #1: “Believe me, you don’t want me to need you on this call.”

Coworker #2: “What’s happening? My customer is playing a ukulele for me!”

Coworker #1: “My caller just told me he’s taking a dump.”

Coworker #2: “Oh, my god! Why would you even share that?!”

Coworker #1: “I have no idea.”

(A couple of minutes later, I hear him speak again.)

Coworker #1: *on phone* “If you’re finished in the bathroom then, can we check and see if your Internet is back up yet?”