My mom and I are vacationing in Ireland, and the plan is to check out a local castle. We’ve been informed by our [Vacation Rental] hosts to take the bus to the nearby town and walk up the hill to the castle from there.

We go to the central train station to take the bus to said town, but it’s a no-show. We ask some other drivers and they tell us it will be another hour. Having time to kill, we head for the beach and promenade nearby to take in the seaside views, but disaster strikes on the way back. My mom loses her balance stepping down from a curb, collapses, and scrapes her knee, and her ankle starts to swell up. She’s a real soldier, though, and is determined to not have it ruin our plans.

Because of the hassle of the fall, we end up by the wrong bus stop and see the bus we’re supposed to take leave without us. Not wanting to spend another hour waiting, we decide to take a cab, instead. This is good thinking, it turns out, as the road from the town up to the castle would have been too long and too steep to climb in my mom’s current condition.

The cab driver is very friendly and advises us to download the app for his company for the ride back. We spend a lovely afternoon at the castle and surrounding gardens, but my mom’s ankle is getting worse, and by closing time, I use the app to arrange our ride. The app informs me at the end of my reservation that a cab will arrive in about twenty minutes, so we stand by the front gates by the road to wait.

Forty minutes later, there is still no cab. By this time, my mom is almost unable to stand and there are no seating options anywhere. I call the cab company and explain the situation, asking how far off our driver is.

Employee #1: “You are [My Name], yes? You have ordered two cabs, is that correct?”

Me: “No… just one cab. I don’t know where you got the second, but apparently, my reservation has gone through twice somehow.”

Employee #1: “Okay, I’ll cancel the one cab, and the other should be on its way to you.”

Me: “Great. Any idea how long it will take to be here?”

Employee #1: “About twenty minutes.”

At least we have a timeframe now, so we opt to wait some more. Half an hour later, there is still nothing, so I call again. I say my name and explain the situation, and there is a loud sigh on the other end.

Employee #2: “[My Name]?”

Me: “Yes?”

Employee #2: “You told us to cancel the ride, so we cancelled, and now you still want a taxi after all?”

Me: “Hold up. You accidentally send two, and I just needed the one. You said there was still one on the way.”

Employee #2: “There never was. We have no drivers left available.”

I’m stunned. We’ve been out in the cold rain waiting for over an hour, my mom is in visible pain, and the man on the phone is acting curtly and rudely. I’m out of patience.

Me: “If you have no drivers left in the first place, you could have told me that half an hour ago.”

Employee #2: “I told you, we have nothing.”

Me: “Well… do you happen to know an alternative company that operates around here that can help us out?”

Employee #2: “No. Besides, I tried to call you twice to tell you your cab wasn’t coming…”

I’ve received no incoming calls whatsoever, I’ve been glued to my phone all the time, and I’ve had full bars of service, so I know he’s lying.

Employee #2: “…and you didn’t pick up, so that is on you.”

Me: “On me? Are you kidding me right now?”

Employee #2: “Now quit calling us. We have no drivers!”

I’m seething at this point. The castle is since closed, and we’ve seen the employees leave for the day. There’s no one around, and I have no clue how to get off this hill.

Me: “Just so you know, your service is f****** abysmal. Thanks for nothing.”

I hung up. We limped back into the castle, hoping to find someone to help us. We just caught the receptionist before she left, and she took pity. She called a friend of hers from town who happened to drive a cab for a rival company. The friend — an elderly gent with a heavy Irish accent — showed up five minutes later and neatly dropped us off at our [Vacation Rental]. We made sure to royally tip him.

Mom’s ankle was thankfully fine the next day, just slightly sprained.

Related:
Taxing Taxiing, Part 8
Taxing Taxiing, Part 7
Taxing Taxiing, Part 6
Taxing Taxiing, Part 5
Taxing Taxiing, Part 4

CONTENT WARNING: Suicide Ideation

I was in my first week on the phones after training. As it was April of 2020, I was not in the office but being looked after in my work-from-home setup.

It was my last call of the day. The customer had physically damaged their device, so a repair was the next step. I was explaining the limited options due to lockdowns starting in their area and that they weren’t able to go to their preferred store due to this. The call had been relatively normal up to this point, though with a few minor phrasings and comments that made me think the caller might not be all there.

Me: “All right. Since you don’t want to do any of the repair options, we’re going to have to wait until things open up more.”

The caller spoke in the same tone that someone would use to comment on the weather in a boring conversation.

Caller: “Okay, I guess I’ll just kill myself, then.”

Panic mode instantly shut down almost everything, and I jump instantly to the “if a customer threatens harm” area of my training:

Me: “Please don’t hurt yourself; we don’t want you to hurt yourself. If you feel that way, you should talk to a doctor or someone—”

Caller: “No, I think I’ll just kill myself.” *Click*

I called back immediately, very panicked but keeping my tone as calm as I could.

Me: “I’m sorry, we seemed to get cut off there. I just wanted to make sure you were all right and heard what I was saying — that we don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

Caller: *Slightly confused tone* “But I can’t go to [Repair Shop] and my [Device] is broken?”

Me: “No, you can’t right now, I’m sorry. The only other way to get it fixed right now is [slightly roundabout method].”

Customer: “Yeah, I’ll just do something, maybe kill myself. Bye.”

I freaked out more than a little, calling up the supervisor level, asking if it counted as a customer being in “immediate physical danger” because, again, that tone was so casual. My brain was just looping on the “threat”.

The supervisor managed to calm me down and gently explained that I had done my best, but if the customer wasn’t accepting my comments, it wasn’t like we could force them into medical help, and since we didn’t really know where they were, then it wasn’t like we could get an ambulance out there.

I ended up at my end-of-day briefing sobbing over it and had no less than three of our trainers jumping up on the conference program to call me directly and make sure I was okay.

I STILL don’t know what was going on in that person’s head, or if they really meant anything by it, but I lost someone important to such thoughts, so there was no way I wouldn’t try to stop it if I could.

The weirdest praise I got for it, though, came from the trainer who I’d chosen for the comfort, who reinforced that they were impressed at how well I’d reacted to it in terms of giving the customer the correct information — that we didn’t want them hurt and that they should see a doctor for those feelings — and attempting to get help. Apparently, she didn’t think even a fully-trained supervisor would have responded with those sentiments so immediately. So… good for me for having a traumatic childhood?

I had a call with an elderly gentleman who had an issue with his satellite box that was easily resolved.

Customer: “Thank you for the help. You’ve been so nice to me.”

Me: “Glad I could help. Have a good day now!”

Customer: “Can I play some music for you?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “You’ve been so nice, and I want to do something nice in return. Can I play a song for you?”

Me: *Pauses* “Well, I suppose.”

He proceeded to put his phone down by his stereo and put on an Ella Fitzgerald song. He had no way of knowing, but she’s one of my favourite artists and I enjoyed every second of the song.

That call absolutely destroyed my average call time for the rest of the week. So worth it.

I work from home for a shoe company in the customer service department. My particular department deals with USA customers. A man calls regarding a credit on his account; he wants to use that to purchase another item.

I must note that I have a northern English accent, but just as I can have trouble with American accents, I always believe patience is key because accents are just a way of life.

Customer: “What is the name of the shoes that I had before? I want to look them up on the website.”

Me: “The name is [Shoe].”

Customer: “What? I cannot understand you. Is that English?”

I repeat the name three times and use it in a sentence.

Customer: “Your accent is too thick! Are there any Americans to speak English to me?”

Me: “I apologise; we do not have any USA staff and I have not had this problem before. I will try to speak slower.”

I speak slower, and the customer begins to sarcastically laugh.

Customer: “Does anyone else speak better English?”

Me: *Through gritted teeth* “The employees on call tonight — apart from me — are actually from Liverpool, and you may find that a harder accent to understand, but I can transfer you.”

The customer sighs dramatically.

Me: “I understand that we both have accents. If you can be patient, I will speak as slowly as possible.”

The call somehow comes to an end, and I finalise the transaction — however, not before I am subjected to the customer telling me:

Customer: “You don’t speak English; it’s like Mandarin English.”

He laughs hysterically. My silence must speak volumes.

Customer: “You don’t find that funny?”

Me: “No!”

I then hung up.

I work for an ISP, and I get this call.

Caller: “You need to cancel some Internet pages! They’re saying things that I don’t like about [President]!”

Me: “Sir, we just provide you with access to the Internet. We’re not responsible for what is actually on the Internet.”

Caller: “Well, that’s stupid! As a patriot, you shouldn’t be allowing these people to say these things about [President]!”

Me: “Sir, the Internet is an open forum for lots of opinions about every subject. If you don’t agree with them, then—”

Caller: “Oh, these aren’t opinions. It’s the news!”

Me: “News?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “If they’re verified news, then what is your complaint?”

Caller: “Aren’t you listening, son? I don’t like them!”

Me: “Maybe you should avoid that particular website, then, sir?”

Caller: “But it’s on all of them! Here, I made a list of sites for you to close: CNN, NBC, BBC—”

Me: “Sir, we can’t do that!”

Caller: “Useless! I never would have gotten this Internet thing if I’d known it would tell me things I didn’t want to hear!” *Click*