Your Nameless Days Are Numbered

| IL, USA | Extra Stupid

(We always ask for the name first for several reasons. We need to give the system time to populate their information and we need to make sure that we’re allowed to speak to the caller before we get in too deep.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. May I have your name, please?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m calling about my claim for date of service [date] with [Doctor] and you guys say I owe [amount].”

(I head-desk, and pause longer than company standard, as I furiously try to note the information I was given because we get dinged for making callers repeat information.)

Me: “Okay, I can look at that claim for you. May I have your name, please?”

Customer: *gives first, middle, and last name, spelling all three*

Me: “Thank you. And may I have your phone number so I can document that we spoke today?”

Customer: “What number?”

Me: *reaches for more headache meds and coffee*

Remotely Stupid

, | Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cellphone Carrier]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi! I would like to update my cellphone.”

Me: “Sure! I can help you. I see you have an iPhone. Can you please go into your settings?”

Customer: “Oh! Do I have to do it? I thought you had to press a button from your computer and work your magic.”

Taxing Faxing, Part 14

, | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(Customers will call to purchase service contracts for their mobile phones.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, but after your credit check, I am afraid that you will have to pay a deposit.”

Customer: “How?”

Me: “We can take payment usually over the phone. Or there is also a payment form that can be downloaded, printed, and either faxed or mailed to us.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll fax it!”

(The customer ended up faxing cash. That’s right, cash. He FAXED us four $100 bills! And then just couldn’t understand when we told him it wasn’t a valid method of payment…)

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 13
Taxing Faxing, Part 12
Taxing Faxing, Part 11