The Final Word On Passwords, Part 2

| Chicago, IL, USA | Right | October 10, 2015

(I work at a call center helpdesk. As with most call centers, the bulk of calls we receive are for password resets. The following was between a coworker and one of our callers:)

Coworker: “I can reset the password back to the password you had before. That way we can keep it the same and you won’t have to rem—”

Caller: “NO. I don’t want that. I have a billion passwords already; I don’t want to be remembering another. Let’s just change it to something different.”

 

You Mexi-Can’t Say Things Like That

| FL, USA | Right | October 8, 2015

(I work for a third-party passport expediting company. A customer calls me PANICKING because she has a trip coming up the very next day to go to Mexico, and she just now realized she needs a passport. As we discuss her options, it becomes apparent that she does not have the documentation necessary to even obtain a passport.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but without the necessary documentation you cannot get a passport. And you must have a passport to travel internationally.”

Caller: “But… come on! Is anyone really going to ID me? I’m white.”

E(B)T Phone Home

| USA | Right | October 8, 2015

(We have a department that handles people on the Lifeline program, which gives a free phone and minutes to low-income people. Normally I handle the paid customers, but on occasion the free phone people end up in my queue. Shenanigans invariably ensue.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to know if my [Store] Food Card can be used to pay for minutes?”

Me: “Pardon me, your what kind of card?”

Customer: “My [Store] FOOD Card. You know, you get it from the government to pay for food.”

Me: “Oh. Do you mean an EBT card?”

Customer: “Yeah!  My EBT card! I just scan it at [Store] and it pays for my food. Can I get a plan with it?”

Me: “Um, no, sir.”

Customer: “Well, WHY NOT?! It’s a government phone. It’s a government card. Now, you let me pay for my plan!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t. The EBT program is only for food and other edible products, not for telephone plans.”

Customer: “Well, just run it through and see. I bet it takes it.”

Me: “No sir, I can’t do that. Do you have an airtime card, a credit, or debit card? I can use those.”

Customer: “Well, this EBT is a card! Take it!”

Please Hold For The Employee To Get Fired

| Finland | Working | October 4, 2015

(We have a very lazy and uncaring worker at our call center. He often clocks in late and clocks out early.)

Coworker: *answers a call* “Thank you. Your call is important to us. Please hold.” *turns on CD player so loud the caller can hear the music*

Me: *gesturing* “What the h*** are you doing?!”

Coworker: “I’m taking a coffee break now.”

(A minute elapses…)

Coworker: *turns the radio off* “All the representatives are busy at the moment. Please call later.” *hangs up*

(He didn’t stay long.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 44

, | SC, USA | Right | September 25, 2015

Customer: “I have your mobile app… I know I can take a picture of a check and make a deposit that way. But I want to know how to make a mobile withdrawal…”

Me: “You want to know if you can make a mobile withdrawal?”

Customer: “Yes. I can’t figure out any way to do that.”

Me: “Well, sir, there is no way to do that because you would have to go to an ATM or into a branch to get actual cash.”

Customer: “But I’m not at an ATM and your branch is closed. I want to deposit this check through the app and get cash right now.”

Me: “Well sir, frankly, technology hasn’t gotten to the point where mobile phones can print – and even at that, printing money, unless done by the government, is illegal.”

Customer: “So I can’t make a mobile withdrawal?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “That’s stupid.” *click*

 

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