Will Somebody Think Of The Children?!

, , , | Right | November 9, 2018

(I work for a state-independent children’s welfare organisation, which relies on their support members to run an anonymous hotline for children to call when they’re in need of an adult to listen to them. We’re reliant on our members, so today I call around trying to make members increase their monthly support. Most people are very positive, as we make sure to thank them for their support, and praise them for the good work. In Denmark, we don’t say, “ma’am,” or, “sir,” to each other anymore unless we’re speaking to the Queen.)

Me: *talks about how far we’ve made it with the hotline, but that many children still call in our closing-time* “…so we want to be open 24 hours a day. Will you help support that?”

Member: “Why do you people call and call?! I am so sick and tired of it, and you’re losing customers because of it. Why do you continue?!”

Me: “Because we want to help children.”

Member: “Now you’re being very crude!”

Me: “I’m sorry you see it that way; I just presume you want to help children, too, since you’re a member.”

Member: “Well, then don’t be perfidious! I want you to pass it on that no one wants to be called! You’re losing members on this! JUST DO YOUR WORK!”

Me: “I will. Have a nice day.”

(Apparently, she wanted me to do my job and NOT do my job at the same time; also I was very rude because I wanted to help kids! I put her on a DO NOT CALL list.)

Unfiltered Story #124866

, , , | Unfiltered | November 9, 2018

Caller: And can I get a (premium service) taxi?
Me: well generally we require about 1/2 hour notice for that
Caller: But – its my wedding day!!!
Me: ….

If You Like Piña Coladas, And Getting Caught In Small Talk

, , , , , | Right | November 1, 2018

(I live in Central America, and I work for the US branch of a famous online retailer. We’re halfway through the call and I’m waiting for some changes to go through in the customer’s account. The customer then asks me one of the most dreaded questions all off-shore customer service agents fear.)

Customer: “So, where are you located?”

Me: *groans inside and braces for the worst* “Costa Rica.”

(We’re heavily encouraged to not lie, even though a great deal of customers react negatively.)

Customer: “Oh, wow! I’ve heard a lot about Costa Rica from my friends who have been there for vacation!”

Me: *relieved* “Oh, really?”

Customer: “Yeah! They loved the beach and the jungles! Can you see the beach from where you are? I’d love to be able to watch the beach from my office. Do you guys even have computers and Internet? I’ve heard cellphones are new to you!”

(The customer then rants about huts, lack of electricity, and mosquitoes carrying deadly tropical diseases.)

Me: *laughs nervously and tries to butt in* “Sir, the changes went through. Is there anything else I can assist you with?”

Customer: “No, no! Thank you! You guys have fun. I hope to join you one of these days! Bye!” *hangs up*

(The customer must have thought I was assisting him from my private office on the second floor of a palm tree holding a banana to my ear, accessing his account on my fire-powered coconut computer and palm screen, and joining the nearest pool bar for piña coladas between calls. As sad as reality was for me, I hope the thought at least brightened his day.)

An Alarming Way To Get Through To Customer Service

, , , | Right | October 30, 2018

(I work at a company that helps supply home security systems and other home-automation equipment to customers. I get a call in requesting support for a door and window sensor.)

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m having an issue with a sensor.”

Me: “May I have your phone number to pull up your account, please?”

Customer: “Sure, it’s [phone number].”

(I put the phone number into the system, but nothing comes up.)

Me: “My apologies, sir; I’m not certain if I entered that number correctly. Just to verify, that number is [correct phone number]?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s it.” *muttering* “I don’t even know why I’m paying you guys.”

Me: “Okay, that’s still not pulling anything up; may I have your address, please?”

Customer: “It’s [address], in [City].”

(I put the address into the system, but don’t pull up anything.)

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s not coming up,. I’m not sure if it’s user error or—”

Customer: “Okay, I’ve had enough of this bulls***! You guys are f****** useless. I’m going to set off my alarm so it comes in to you guys.”

(Before I can protest and tell him that I’m not at the monitoring station, he’s armed his system and entered the duress code to call the police.)

Customer: “Can you find me now?”

Me: *shocked* “Y-you’ll have to talk to [Monitoring Company] about that.”

Customer: *alarm siren blaring in the background* “I’ll talk to them, then.” *click*

(I pause for a moment.)

Me: “Well, that was the most interesting call I’ve gotten so far.”

Translation Frustration

, , , , , | Right | October 29, 2018

(I work nights at a local bank’s call center. During the day we have Spanish-speaking agents available. At night we use a translator service line for any non-English speaking customers. To use it, we place the customer on hold and call over to a translator. I know a few words in Spanish but not much. This call came at around 10 pm.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How may I help you?”

Customer: *speaks rapidly in Spanish then pauses*

Me: “Si! Lo siento; no hablo español. Un momento, por favor!” *Yes, I am sorry; I don’t speak Spanish. One moment, please.*

Customer: *speaks rapidly in Spanish again*

Me: “Uhh…” *in a hopeful tone* “No habla español? Hablo ingles?”

Customer: *sighs and speaks slower in Spanish as if to a kid*

Me: “I still don’t speak Spanish, sir.”

Customer: *confused sounding Spanish*

Me: “Can I put you on hold?”

Customer: “Qué?”

Me: “Un momento?”

Customer: “Ohhh… Okay.”

(I put the customer on hold and get a translator. It takes around 30 seconds. The rest of the conversation goes through the translator.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Why don’t you speak Spanish? I pressed the Spanish number.”

Me: “We don’t have Spanish agents at night because few people call in.”

Customer: “Well, that is stupid. Fine, just give me my balance.”

Me: “Okay, can I get your account or card number?”

Customer: “I already gave you this information three times.”

(The customer says a string of words the translator won’t translate, then hangs up.)

Translator: “Wow, that was…  Need me for anything else?”

Me: “Nope. Have a good night.”

Translator: “Good luck!”

Page 5/291First...34567...Last