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That’s Really Not How Customers Work, Buddy

, , , , | Working | November 3, 2022

I do tech support over the phone. Customers can rate their experience after their call on a scale of one to ten.

A customer rated me a ten, but their impression of the company overall was rated a two, stating that we generally sucked but that I did a good job.

My supervisor reprimanded me.

Supervisor: “If you were actually good, it would have erased all his negative thoughts about the company.”


, , , , | Working | November 3, 2022

I have an associate of the bank call.

Associate: “You need to reimburse all of my overdraft fees because I’m an employee of the bank and, as such, I am not subject to any fees from the bank whatsoever.”

Me: *Calmly* “First and foremost, I have to treat you as a client.”

She starts to cuss me out and demands to speak to a supervisor. I look at my phone and I can tell the call is coming from the branch.

Me: “Are you on the clock or are you at your branch as a client?”

She cussed me out again and once more demanded to speak to a supervisor. I passed the call to my supervisor, who then reported her to HER manager for being offensive and for taking care of personal matters on the job.

PIN-Headed, Part 22

, , , , , | Right | November 1, 2022

I work for a bank’s call center, in the customer complaints department. I open up a case folder to find several lengthy letters from a customer complaining about the fact that several of our branches have been painted white and other various gripes about redecoration that has taken place.

After a lengthy read, he finally concludes in letter three; his real problem is that he wrote his PIN next to all the ATMs he uses in the area and can no longer access any of his accounts as they have all been painted over.

PIN-Headed, Part 21
PIN-Headed, Part 20
PIN-Headed, Part 19
PIN-Headed, Part 18
PIN-Headed, Part 17

When Helicopter Moms Are Worse Than Whatever The Refugees Escaped From

, , , , , , , , | Right | October 29, 2022

I work in politics, taking calls from the constituents of our MP (Member of Parliament). Our MP has recently won an election. I take a call from an angry woman.

Caller: “I’m never going to vote for you again!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, madam. Can I ask why you have changed your mind?”

Caller: “Because [MP] voted yes to bringing in a whole lot of refugees! I saw them on the news! They’re all men!”

Me: “Well, I don’t know what news channel you watch, but—”

Caller: “You don’t understand! It’s too many new men! My son still lives with me! He’s thirty years old and he already can’t get a date!”

Me: “I… am sorry to hear that.”

Caller: “You tell [MP] that as long as my son is single, she won’t get my vote!” *Click*

Yes, I’ll be sure she includes that as an urgent item on her next manifesto.

Customer Entitlement Is Unlimited

, , , , , , | Right | October 28, 2022

This is in the earlier days of cell phones where a lot of plans have limited texting. We deal with unbilled usage, so we alert you before it prints and try to save you money.

Caller: “My daughter has sent a lot of texts! My bill is huge!”

I check, and her daughter has sent almost 5,000 texts, which racks up to about $500.

Me: “For $20, I can add unlimited messaging to wipe it all out like it never happened.”

Caller: *Immediately argumentative* “I refuse to pay $20 for something that you can fix for free!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am actually trying to save you money.”

Caller: “You could save me more!”

Me: “Or I could save you nothing at all.”

She complained. She got it escalated. She still had to pay.