I’m sitting in the call center, doing my work, when I get a call in. An anonymous number? Odd…

Me: “This is [Electrical Company], billing department. How can I help you?”

The caller sounds like a woman trying to disguise her voice.

Customer: “Hi. I want to know my current debt?”

Me: “Your current outstanding bills? Of course. Can I have a customer or contract number, or a name or address, please?”

She gives me her contract number. I now notice a warning. It’s big fat error message that says, “Debt sold to collections. Do NOT edit case! -Legal Dept.”

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Oh, sorry about that! I was just surprised by a message that I got. I’m afraid I can’t access your case since your debt with us has been sold to a collections agency. But this means that your debt exceeded five thousand, at least.”

Customer: “You sold my debt?!”

Me: “The recovery department of [Electrical Company] did, yes—”

Customer: “So, I don’t owe you any more money?!”

Me: “Not to us, no, but you do owe the debt coll—”

Customer: “I DON’T HAVE TO PAY YOU S*** ANYMORE! WHOOOOOO!”

Me: “Ma’am—”

The customer hangs up. My coworker looks at me.

Coworker: “Was she happy that her debt was sold?”

Me: “Yep. Won’t be so happy when the collections agency shows up at her door.”

Coworker: “Does she think her debt would suddenly disappear?”

I work as a customer service representative under a prepaid debit card service. I got a call from a customer.

Customer: “I’m trying to pay the rent for my apartment, and my card keeps declining! Why?”

I brought up his account and looked at his transaction history. I saw that the cause of the decline was insufficient funds. Basically, he was $60 off from his $1,450 apartment transaction on his current balance at the time.

It turned out that a few hours before he could pay his rent, there was a previous charge from [Cable Company]. It was an auto payment that debited about $60 from his account, giving him a low balance. I told him the reason.

Customer: “What are you going to do about it, then? Refund me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t refund you. The charge was from [Cable Company].”

It wasn’t my fault [Cable Company] had screwed him over.

He got pissed at me for not helping, although I told him there was nothing I could do in that situation, and after two foul language warnings, he hung up.

I mean, what did he want me to do? Tell [Cable Company] to refund him? That’s why I pay my bills manually — so I don’t get screwed over like that.

I work as a dispatcher in a 911 call center. People call for all sorts of things, like settling an argument over the rules of Monopoly or other board games, answers to crossword puzzles, complaints about the weather, etc.

My favorite over the years:

Caller: “The power’s out. Can you have the fire department come over and hook up a generator? I need to watch the ballgame.”

Me: “Sorry, sir. They only have one generator, and it’s hooked up here so we can watch the ballgame.”

Caller: “Are you serious?!“

Me: “Are you? Should I be reporting this number to the police for reporting a non-emergency?”

Caller: “But it is an emergency! I’m missing the game!” 

I sent the police over, instead.

I used to work at a call center outsourced by the government department that regulates complaints from TV viewers. This is before the golden age of streaming and most TV was heavily regulated regarding what was considered “offensive or obscene” such as swearing, violence, sex, etc.

These days, I think most complaints come in via email or online forms, but back then, we’d get a lot of calls from viewers who were, if I am being honest, a bit sensitive.

The following call took place a long time ago, so it has been considerably shortened and paraphrased.

Caller: “I’m calling to make a complaint!”

Me: “Can you please let me know the name of the programming and the channel on which it was broadcast?”

Caller: “It was [Show] on [National American TV Channel]! It was on last night after my dinner!”

I love it when callers do this, because everyone has “dinner” at the same time…

Me: “And what is the nature of your complaint?”

Caller: “Well… the show was so boring!”

Me: “Your complaint is that the show was… boring?”

Caller: “Yes! When I watch TV at night, I want the shows to be exciting! And [Show] was just so… so boring!”

Me: “Was anything on the show what you would consider offensive or obscene, ma’am?”

Caller: “Well… no. If it was, it would at least be interesting! But it’s just… so…”

Me: “…boring, yes. I’m afraid I can’t pass on such a complaint to the relevant body, ma’am.”

Caller: “But I was on my Facebooks! We’re all in agreement! The show was just so boring!”

Me: “I understand, but [Channel] broadcasts hundreds of shows that are designed to appeal to a wide range of viewers. Some will appeal more to others, and we’re not here to regulate what shows are interesting or not. We can only take on complaints if a show is potentially broadcasting something considered offensive or obscene.”

Caller: “But we’re all talking, and we all agree! It was boring! There should be more interesting shows at nine at night!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am sure your Facebook group is all in agreement, and I am not disputing that, but again, I can’t take your complaint forward.”

Caller: “So, what do you expect me to go back and tell them?!”

Me: “Maybe change the channel?”

Caller: “But there are a hundred of us in the group!”

Me: *Checking my stats* “And [Show] was viewed by over four million people last night, ma’am.”

Caller: “Send me their names! I’ll add them to the Facebook group.”

It did not get much better from there.

My phone rings, and it’s a telemarketer. She asks if she can tell me about the insurance she’s selling. I tell her that it’s a waste of her time because I am a student and can barely pay my rent. She very politely asks if she can tell me about the offer shortly, anyway. That’s when I have a tiny lightbulb moment.

Me: “Excuse me. Tell me if I can’t ask this, but do you only get a commission, or do you get an hourly wage, too?”

She’s silent for a few seconds, and then she carefully replies, and I definitely can hear a smile in her voice.

Caller: “No commission, which is fine with me, but I’d love to tell you about the offer.”

I told her to go for it and take however long she liked because I wasn’t in a hurry, so she talked for quite a while I randomly said things like, “Oh, I see,” and, “Ah, interesting,” while doing schoolwork.

At the end of the call, she thanked me for listening, said she’d take me off their call list (that’s never happened before; usually, they just call again!), and wished me a nice day.

It was a tiny thing, but both of us left the interaction happy.

She was telling the truth; they never called me again.