Stupidity Reaches Exclamation Point

, , , | Right | November 24, 2018

(I am working a call center for a government agency. These are federal employees whose wages are a matter of public information. The caller in question makes $90k+ a year.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Call Center]. This is [My Name]; how may I assist you?”

Caller: “I need a password for [system], please.”

Me: “Of course! I just need you to verify your security code.”

(The caller verifies and I reset the password.)

Me: “Okay, your password is Vacation, zero, one, exclamation point, with a capital V on ‘vacation.’” *Vacation01!*

Caller: “Exclamation point? What’s that?”

Me: *pause* “On your keyboard that would be Shift-1.”

Caller: “OH! You mean the line with the dot under it!”

Me: *another pause* “Yes, sir.”

(I completed the call with a headache at the thought that these are our tax dollars hard at work.)

And Many F***s Were Given

, , , , | Working | November 22, 2018

(I work in a call centre. Going on a break, I overhear two coworkers known for slacking off a lot complaining about something, so I decide to stop and listen.)

Coworker #1: “I get really upset when a customer tells me to f*** off.”

Coworker #2: “Me, too. It’s really mean of them.”

Me: “If you don’t mind me asking, how often does it happen?”

Coworker #1: “Two or three times a day.”

Coworker #2: “Yeah. Me, too. About the same.”

Me: “If customers aren’t telling you to f*** off at least a dozen times a day, you aren’t working hard enough.”

(I walked away while they stood there with their mouths open.)

Option One Is The Only One

, , , , | Right | November 15, 2018

(Our call centre deals with electronic repairs and tech support. When a customer calls the automated line, they are told to press one for repairs or to stay on the line to get transferred to tech support. This happens on a quiet Sunday afternoon when I am the only free agent on the repair line. We are not allowed to transfer calls, as we are strictly inbound only at this time.)

Me: “Good afternoon. Thanks for calling [Company] repair line. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need help with my [item].”

(They describe the issue they have been having.)

Me: “Sorry to hear that. You will need to call tech support to run through diagnostics over the phone, and they will get it booked in for repair if necessary. Just redial the same number, but when you get to the options just stay on the line and that will connect you.”

Customer: “Okay, then. Bye.”

(Less than one minute later the phone rings again.)

Me: “Good afternoon. Thanks for calling [Company] repair line. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “My [item] is not turning on; I need it fixed.”

Me: “We spoke just a few moments ago, and unfortunately you have come through to the wrong department again. When you redial, do not press one or any other number, and you will get through to our tech support team.”

Customer: “Oh, all right, then. Bye.”

(Less than one minute later the phone rings yet again.)

Me: “Good afternoon. Thanks for calling [Company] repair line. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “My [item] is broken; I need it fixed.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you have come through to me again. When you press one for repairs, it sends you to me, but you need to speak to tech support. When you call, do not press one or any other number. If you ignore all the options and wait, your call will be sent straight to tech support.”

Customer: “Okay, I will call them.”

(Less than one minute later the phone rings once again.)

Me: “Good afternoon, thanks for calling [Company] repair line, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “You again! I keep calling the same number, but I can’t get through to tech support like you said I would.”

Me: “I am so sorry. I don’t know why you are getting me, instead. Tech support are receiving calls this afternoon, so the line does seem to be working. Would you mind please just confirming the number you are dialling? The only thing I can think of is that we did change our number about five months ago, and you may be calling that, instead?”

Customer: “Sure, it is [new and current number], then option one.”

Me: “That is the correct number, but as I have advised you three times now, pressing one transfers you to me. When you call, you dial [current number], wait for the options, press nothing, and you will be sent to tech support.”

Customer: “Oh, whatever. I can’t be bothered with that now. I just want to book it in for repair.”

Me: “All repair booking is done by tech support.”

(I then had to explain that the repair team did not have access to the booking-in system, as all issues have to be logged and attempted to be resolved by tech support first, and so she would need to speak our tech team, anyway. In the end, I had to get a supervisor to authorise and log the transferred call.)

Triggering A Very Powerful Off Switch

, , , , | Working | November 13, 2018

(I work in a call center. Outside is a break room where people go to smoke. Sitting across from me is a guy sullenly eating a pizza. His phone starts to chime, and he hits a button to silence it. Again it happens, and then again.)

Coworker: “Hey, buddy! I’m on break! Can you shut off your—”

(He hasn’t finished the sentence when the guy stands up and throws his cell phone hard, past the smoking area, where it crashes hard into the pavement, shattering and splintering into pieces.)

Sullen Guy: “IT’S OFF NOW!” *walks inside without a word*

The Philippines Sent Her Back

, , , | Right | November 11, 2018

(I work customer service for a financial bank. It is Columbus Day, and the night is actually pretty slow. Most people probably assume we are closed. One of the last calls of the night:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]! My name is [My Name]. May I have your full name?

Customer: “Oh! I’m speaking to a black lady! How wonderful! You have a lovely black voice. You are African-American, aren’t you?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t feel that is relevant to the call today. May I have your full name, or how may I assist today?”

Customer: “You’re not black? I usually always end up with a white lady or some lady in the Philippines.”

Page 4/291First...23456...Last