Everyone’s Password Is Rosebud

, , , , , | | Working | May 14, 2019

(I call my credit card company to activate my new card. While I am on hold I am on my laptop setting up online access for the account. I happen to be at the “Security Questions.” I notice the questions are kind of “fuzzy.” Instead of, “What is your mother’s maiden name?” there are questions like, “What brand of shampoo do you use?” The customer service representative comes on the line.)

Me: “Could you tell your management that their security questions are too vague?”

Customer Service Representative: “What do you mean?”

Me: “For example, one of the questions is, ‘What is your favorite movie?’ That answer can change based on my mood or even what movie I’ve seen recently.”

Customer Service Representative: “You will always be able to log in and change your answers.”

Me: “I can see it now: ‘Wow, that was a great movie! I can’t wait to go home and change my banking password!’”

Customer Service Representative: *chuckles*

Unfiltered Story #149696

, | | Unfiltered | May 11, 2019

Customer: “What if he didn’t know he was calling Canada?”

Me: “He would’ve known he was calling outside the US because he would have to dial 1, the area code, and the number he was trying to reach. Is this something that might be on going?”

Customer: “Oh no. He had some conference calls to Canada last month he had to make.”

Me: *facepalm*

Getting Off The Debt Ladder

, , , | | Right | May 10, 2019

(I work as a debt collector where I mostly make outbound calls but also take inbound calls. Most of our inbound calls are a result of people seeing a missed call from us and are calling back. I am taking an inbound call in this story.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. This call may be monitored and recorded. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I just received a call from you guys and I wanted to know what this was about.”

(I proceed to verify the customer and go through the script to let him know that we are collecting a debt. He is upset over the bill and is arguing about it. He gets fed up and says this gem.)

Customer: *yelling* “Okay, well, can we talk about this while I’m not on a ladder?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, what was that?!”

Customer: *still yelling* “Yeah, I’m up on a ladder right now! You had to call me while I was up here! It’s dangerous!”

Me: “I understand, sir, but you could have called us back when you weren’t on the ladder!” *click*

Unfiltered Story #149648

, , , | | Unfiltered | May 9, 2019

During my first experience working in a call center, I was assigned to handle a very specific, niche technical product that didn’t receive many calls. To keep from getting bored during known downtimes (under the guise of “research on excellent customer service”), we would prank call the other hotlines in the call center (it housed popular consumer products as well as  some one-off things like political campaign hotlines.)

One call was so memorable I have used it as an example in customer service training ever since:

Them: “Thank you for calling Betty Crocker. How can I bake your day?”

(I maintain to this day she said “bake”.)

Me: My Bisquick is broken.

Them: I’m so sorry to hear that! Can you tell me what happened?

Me: It doesn’t work. I tried making muffins and they didn’t rise. Then I tried making biscuits like on the box and they were just a big sticky mess.

Them: That’s terrible! Muffins should be fluffy, and biscuits flakey! It is definitely not expected nor acceptable for our product to do that.

Do you have the box with you?

Me: Yes, although I was tempted to throw it in the trash.

Them: I would too, to be honest! Lets get a little bit of information from you, and we’ll send out a replacement right away, and a recipe book, and some other goodies. We wouldn’t want a baker like yourself to have a bad taste (chuckles) in their mouth. Lets get you back to baking right away!


Now, in this particular instance, I was the asshole antagonist (I went on with my story a bit about how i was ready to swear off all general foods products, etc), and the Betty Crocker agent countered me at every turn, never lost her cheery attitude, and sympathized with me the whole turn. Top marks entirely.

After the call I went over and found her and brought her some candy from the vending machine.

A few days later I got everything she’d promised in the mail from General Foods. Great service team.

I highly recommend you call their 800 number if you want to see some agents at the top of their game sometime :)

Sleeping On The Job

, , , , , | Working | May 8, 2019

(When I first start working at a call center taking incoming client calls, I have a pretty typical “script” of how I answer the phone. We have to thank the client for calling and give our name and some sort of pleasantry while also obtaining their name. I always opt for, “Whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with?” One day during my shift I start getting tired and doodling on my paper, writing the words, “I’m sleepy.” As I’m doing this, a call comes through.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name] speaking. Whom do I have the pleasure of sleeping… speaking with?”

(Luckily for me, I don’t think the client heard, and the rest of the conversation continued as normal. My coworkers wouldn’t let me live that one down for weeks!)

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