My first full-time job was working for an insurance call centre. The company had its own insurance products, but it also managed calls for quotes and medical questionnaires on behalf of other companies as well.

We were not allowed to let customers know that we managed quotes for other companies. If the customer wanted a quote for a different company, even if it was one we took calls for, the customer needed to hang up and call that number.

One day, I took a call from a man looking for a travel insurance policy. He was friendly, and the call went as normal. I gave him several quotes. He told me he wanted to shop around a bit more before making a decision, so I saved the quote for him and ended the call.

A few minutes later, a call came through. It was the same man but calling for one of the other companies. I gave my usual greeting.

Caller: “Wow, you sound a lot like the young lady I was just talking to a second ago.”

Me: *Trying to keep my cool* “Oh, really?”

Caller: “Yeah, I just got off the phone with [Company #1].”

Me: “Oh, well, you’ve come through to [Company #2].”

We carried on with the quote. I detailed the products and their coverage. As we were wrapping up the call, the man said:

Caller: “Wow, are you sure you don’t have a sister or something working for [Company #1]?”

Me: “Not as far as I’m aware.”

Caller: “You two sound so alike. You even have the same peculiar accent.”

Because I moved around a lot growing up, I have a weird combination accent that includes a mix of Essex, Hampshire, and Norfolk, as well as a slight American twang as I lived in the States for some years as well (North Carolina and South Carolina for anyone interested).

Caller: *Chuckling* “Maybe you have a long-lost sister.”

It was super awkward as the man joked and speculated about some long-lost relative working for another insurance company. All the while, I couldn’t let on that he had called the same call centre, or I would be disciplined or even potentially fired. Finally, the call was over. Just as before, the man said he wanted to get more quotes before he decided.

I ended the call, praying that he didn’t come through to me a third time. Thankfully, he didn’t. But it quickly became a joke amongst my colleagues that I had a long-lost sister hiding somewhere in the office.

I am calling a customer who maxed out their credit card within the first month of having it but hasn’t made a single payment back in the last four months.

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, is this [Customer]?”

Customer: “Yeah… what do you want?”

Me: “This is [Credit Card Company] calling about your account with us. It’s currently overdue for a payment, and—”

Customer: *Click*

No surprises there. I call back to give the customer the benefit of the doubt that it was an accidental disconnect. When I call back, I get an older-sounding man on the phone.

Customer’s Dad: “This is [Customer]’s father, and I will not have you scammers harassing my daughter! Lose this number now, or I am calling the police!”

Me: “Sir, I can assure you that I am not a scammer. I am calling from [Credit Card Company] about your daughter’s account. I can’t discuss any matters with you about this as an unauthorized user, but again, I can assure you that this isn’t a scam.”

There is a moment of silence, and then I can hear the father speaking to his daughter.

Customer’s Dad: “Did you get a credit card with [Bank]?”

Customer: “Yeah, but they said it was interest-free! I shouldn’t have to pay that back!”

Customer’s Dad: “That’s not what…”

There is the sound of a massive sigh from the father, and I can almost see him face-palming as he processes this information.

Customer’s Dad: “You still have to pay the money back. Interest-free just means there’s a period where they won’t charge interest while you pay it back.”

Customer: “Nuh-uh, Sharon told me it means you don’t have to pay it back.”

Customer’s Dad: “Sharon doesn’t have two brain cells to throw together.”

The customer’s dad returns his attention to me and asks if I can tell him information about the situation if his daughter authorizes him over the phone. I say I can, and he gets her to do so.

I then explain how the credit card was maxed out within ten days of activation and now needs to start being repaid.

Customer’s Dad: “How was she authorized for a credit card in the first place?! She doesn’t even have a job!”

Me: “She marked herself as employed when she made the application, and our records indicate that she received monthly payments for the last three months that matched her stated salary.”

Customer’s Dad: “Were those salary payments from [Company]?”

Me: “They were.”

Customer’s Dad: “She was fired from that job for not showing up. She hasn’t worked for months.”

Me: “That is unfortunate, and we can discuss an extension of her payment plan if that is the case, but I’m afraid we do need to settle on a confirmed plan today to stop her account from moving into debt collection.”

He turns his attention back to his daughter.

Customer’s Dad: “[Customer], you need to start paying this card back. How much can you start paying back today?”

Customer: “I have like… $3 in my account.”

Customer’s Dad: “I’m not loaning you any money.”

Customer: “But Daaaad! Make them go away! They’re giving me anxiety!”

Customer’s Dad: “You went ahead and signed up for a credit card under your own name, maxed it out, and ignored it? I can’t make them go away! I can’t make them do a d*** thing! You need to go out and get a job and pay it back.”

Customer: “But that’s not faaaaair!”

Customer’s Dad: “You’re eighteen; you’re an adult now. Welcome to the real world.”

He handed the phone back to his daughter, who started crying as I tried to go through the legal specifics with her. In the end, we came up with a plan to call her again next week so she could aim to have a source of income, and then we would discuss a new payment plan. 

The credit card was only for about $1,000, so not a huge sum, but enough to hopefully teach her some financial responsibility in the future!

Related: 
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 116
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 115
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part… *Quiet Sobbing*
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 114
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 113

I work for a call center for a bank. One of our recent web ads says something along the lines of, “We won’t end the call until you’re satisfied,” and of course, you know this isn’t going to be abused by any of our customers ever…

I have just finished going through the security questions with a caller.

Caller: “You guys have charged me a fee, and I want it canceled.”

Me: “Can you please confirm the date and amount to which you’re referring?”

He does so.

Me: “Sir, that’s a fee for going overdrawn. You had a scheduled payment that came out of your account but didn’t have the fees to cover it. The bank covered it for you, but we do charge a fee when this happens.”

Caller: “Yes, I know all that. I’m not stupid. I said I wanted it canceled.”

Me: “Sir, I can see that your account has had an overdrawn fee canceled three times. I’m afraid I will not be able to cancel it on this occasion.”

Caller: “I am not satisfied.”

Me: “I am sorry to hear that, sir.”

Caller: “Didn’t you hear me? I said I am not satisfied.”

Me: “That is unfortunate.”

Caller: “I thought you said you couldn’t hang up unless I am satisfied!” 

Me: “I can’t hang up until we have resolved all your queries, sir. Was there another query you had for the bank?”

Caller: “I want that fee canceled!”

Me: “I’m afraid I am unable to do that, sir.”

Caller: “Get me your manager!”

I happily pass him on to my manager. My manager asks me to stay on the line and listen in as I am currently undergoing management training, and part of that involves listening in to some manager-tier calls.

The manager introduces himself, and the caller reiterates his request.

Manager: “Sir, we can allow up to three credits on the account as a courtesy. We will not be able to do it for a fourth time.”

Caller: “I am not satisfied.”

Manager: “I am sorry to hear that, sir.”

Caller: “Doesn’t anyone there understand what I am saying?! I am not… satisfied!“

Manager: “That does nothing to change the fact that we cannot cancel the fee on your account.”

Caller: “Your ad said that you had to satisfy me!”

Manager: “It says we cannot hang up until you’re satisfied. If you like, I can go through the terms and conditions of the contract you signed when you created an account with us, which would explain why we cannot cancel the fee. I could explain it to your ‘satisfaction’.”

Caller: “I don’t want you to explain anything! I just want you to cancel the fee!”

Manager: “I’m afraid I cannot do that, sir.”

Caller: “Put me through to your manager! I am not satisfied!”

Manager: “I am the manager for this call center today, sir.”

Caller: “Then transfer me to whoever the top manager is!”

Manager: “She is attending a conference and is currently unavailable.”

Caller: “I am not satisfied!”

Manager: “I am sorry to hear that, sir.”

Caller: “You keep saying that!”

Manager: “I do.”

Caller: *Screams in frustration* “Look, I know y’all can’t hang up until I am satisfied. I will stay on this line and block your other callers until you cancel my fee!”

Manager: “Sir, the moment you were transferred to a manager, you were taken from the caller queue, and other callers have now taken that space. If you’d like to remain on the line, no one can stop you, but unless you have another query, we need to leave this call on idle until you’re satisfied with our answer or you end the call.”

Caller: “I’m not hanging up!”

Manager: “That’s fine, sir. I will leave this phone to the side in the office. I’ll come by to check on you in an hour to see if you have another query for us.”

The manager placed the physical phone on the desk and made sure the caller could hear his office door opening and closing. I was instructed to then take other calls as normal.

My manager went back to that phone exactly an hour later, and the caller was still there, still demanding the same thing. The manager explained the situation once again and left him on “hold” again for another hour.

This repeated twice more, and then the caller finally hung up between hours three and four.

Over a $2.95 fee.

I take a call on our support line.

Caller: “Are y’all in India?”

Me: “I wish! It’s minus twenty outside right now!”

Caller: “Where in America is it that cold?!”

Me: “I’m in Canada.”

Caller: “Eww. Still international.” *Click*

Related:
Blame Canada! Part 14
Blame Canada! Part 13
Blame Canada! Part 12
Blame Canada! Part 11
Blame Canada! Part 10

Many years ago, I am working in a gas provider company’s call center. One day, my coworker receives a strange complaint from an old woman. 

In Hungary, there are still some heating devices that look like radiators, but they actually run directly on gas, so there’s no water or whatever in the system. They are ugly-looking and box-shaped.

Coworker: “Hello, [Gas Provider], how can I help you?”

Old Lady: “Hi there. I have called because I suspect that the quality of the gas has declined. Am I correct?”

Coworker: “Unfortunately, yes. We’re getting lesser quality gas from abroad. It should get better within a week.”

Old Lady: “Oh. All right, then.”

Coworker: “May I ask how you realized this?”

Old Lady: “To save money, I usually cook on the ‘gas radiator’ instead of the stove. And [dish], which I can usually make in an hour or an hour and a half, took more than two hours.”

Coworker: “Well, okay. Thank you for your call.”

When we heard the story during our break, all of our hearts went out to the poor old lady using the heating for cooking, too, just to be able to save some money. The dish she was talking about is one you can make on a stove in twenty minutes.