Now THAT Is A Resolution Specialist

, , , , | Right | July 15, 2020

I work for a national insurance company. Insurance is highly regulated as it’s one of the only organizations whose prices vary due to risks like age, location, education, gender, etc., from state to state.

One of the ways we assess risks is by doing occasional inspections — going to properties and seeing if they are in a good, safe condition. 

I get an escalated — supervisor-level — call from a customer. She has spoken with us several times over the last few weeks. We are cancelling her insurance because she doesn’t have steps to access the front door to her home… just a sheer dropoff. 

Me: “Miss [Customer]? Thanks so much for holding. My name is [My Name]. I’m a resolution specialist. The previous representative said you had some concerns about the cancellation stays of your home policy. How can I help?”

The customer goes on to explain how she has called us several times, how she has had the stairs installed, etc. I can see that we have gone through all appropriate channels and requested exceptions from managers and the like. All requests have been denied and the final standing is that we cannot provide her coverage. She has been notified of this by several different people, several times, over several days.

Customer: “I don’t care what your managers have said. You will give me coverage.”

Me: “Oh! I’m so sorry for the frustration this has caused. I can see you’ve spent a great deal of time with us on this matter. Let me just say, I really appreciate your interest in wanting to still be a customer with us after all this inconvenience, and time, and effort, and…”

Customer: “Wait. Continue to be a customer? No. Actually, I don’t want to be your customer anymore!”

CLICK! Problem solved.

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Towering Complaints

, , , , | Right | July 13, 2020

I work in a call center selling a certain kind of Internet. One of the selling points of this Internet is that we restrict the addition of new subscribers in an area, so although someone has coverage in their location, we still may not be able to provide them service, and selling Internet to someone who can’t use the service results in getting fired.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; this is [My Name]. What’s the zip code where you’re looking to establish service?”

I get her address and find she doesn’t have service.

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry. It doesn’t look like we’re going to be able to provide you service.”

Customer: “You can’t provide service?”

Me: “No, ma’am, according to my system, the tower in your area is full.”

Customer: “Well, that is ridiculous! My neighbor has service!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, as I said, the tower in your area is full, and we are unable to add any new subscribers.”

Customer: “Just give me the service!”

Me: “Ma’am, I cannot do that, because if I do, I’ll get fired.”

Customer: “Well, I want the service! Kick someone off the tower to give me a spot!”

I start getting very annoyed that this woman isn’t understanding what I am saying, so I start having fun.

Me: “Okay, I’ll get right on that. There, we have a spot all open for you.”

Customer:Oh, great! So, when can I expect the service to activate?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, to get our service, it’s $115 upfront, and $49.99 a month. Now we have some great—”


Me: “Ma’am, it’s fine; there wasn’t room on the tower for you, anyway. I’m hanging up now. You have a nice day.”

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Unfiltered Story #200596

, , , | Unfiltered | July 11, 2020

Customer calls in and nothing comes up under the phone number she called on, so I try to probe her for more info.
Me: Can I have the first and last name of the customer you are calling about today

Caller: John Smith
(Wasn’t John Smith but it was a extremely common name which yielded many results in the system)
Me: OK I have a lot of customers with that name, can I get the address of the customer?
Caller: I don’t know, but will you please just listen to my problem?
Me: I would love to help you but in order to get the most accurate information I have to have an account pulled up. Do you have the phone number of the customer?
Caller: No! Seriously why can’t you just listen?
Me: Again I’d love to help you but I don’t have an account to associate with so until I get more information there’s not much I can do.
Me: I definitely understand and want to help but I have many John Smith’s in my system and to make sure I am making the proper changes I need more information about the customer you are calling about.
and the caller hangs up.
I don’t know what baffled me more, the fact someone would give payment information for someone without knowing any more than their name, or how she expected me to find the account!

It’s Times Like This We Actually Feel Sorry For The Competitor

, , , | Right | July 10, 2020

I work at a call center placing orders for a major retailer. I am working with one woman who has trouble placing her order on our website. We came to the part where she has to tell me her card details.

It doesn’t go through; her information isn’t matching.

I advise her that she will need to contact her credit card provider and verify that all of her information is correct.

Customer: “But it is my information; they just extended my date and gave me a new card. Use it!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t put your card through; the information will not verify. It is possible that your credit card provider hasn’t got all of your information correctly updated. You just need to check with them and then contact us back with the correct information.”

Customer: “I don’t want to deal with all that; just make it work.”

Me: “The card will not work without that information. It is part of our security program. Without those details matching, we can’t use the card. It is for your protection.”

Customer: “Hmph! Everyone else takes it; why won’t you?”

Me: “It is part of the security, ma’am, to keep people who aren’t authorized from using your information. You need to verify it with your bank.”

Customer: “Well, this isn’t customer service! I’ll just take my business to [Competitor]. You just lost a sale!” *Click*

At least she won’t be calling back to complain that we used her card without her permission.

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It Must Be Nice To Be Able To Afford Six Bathrooms And Not Know

, , , | Right | July 9, 2020

I work at a small answering service. We answer the phones for local home inspectors and schedule home inspections.

Me: “Hello, [Company], this is [My Name].”

Client: “Hi, I need to schedule a home inspection, please. We’re kind of pressed for time.”

Me: “Okay, our next opening is on Friday morning; will that be soon enough?”

Client: “I think so.”

Me: “All right, well, let me get some information so I can give you a quote. What is the property address to be inspected?”

Client: “Umm… I don’t know… Hold on a minute.”

It takes him so long that I have time to write, “Who calls to schedule a home inspection without knowing the address?!” and show my coworkers.

Client: “Oh, here, it’s [address].”

Me: “Okay, and can you tell me how many bedrooms and bathrooms are in the home?”

Client: “Um, it says here, um… six bedrooms and five baths.”

Me: *Thinking* “He’s buying the house and he doesn’t know.”

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