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Do Not Call, Can Not Call

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests

(I work at a call center that does follow-up calls for a financial company, to make sure everything goes smoothly with the clients’ accounts. Usually we are the ones that call the customer, but sometimes we get inbound calls and have to get the customer’s information to look up their account. On this particular occasion, I get an inbound call.)

Me: “Hi, this is [Company]; how can I help you today?”

Customer: “What do you people want?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t understand. You’re the one calling us?”

Customer: “I’m sick and tired of you telemarketers always calling me. I don’t want to buy whatever you’re trying to sell me.”

Me: “We’re not telemarketers, ma’am. This is [Company]. We’d likely be contacting you because you’re a client of ours, unless someone gave us your phone number by mistake. Do you happen to have a loan with us?”

Customer: “Yeah, so?!”

Me: “Then we would have tried to contact you regarding your account.”

Customer: “I already have a loan; I want you people to stop calling me! I’m on the do-not-call list and you people are calling me at least twenty times a day!”

(I know this is not true, because it is company policy to never call more than once every several days, and even if the policy wasn’t in place we wouldn’t have the time to call the same client over and over. By now I realize that the customer is too angry to listen, and I want to fix things as quickly as possible.)

Me: “Well, if you’d like, I can take note in your file that you do not want to be contacted. I can also update your account so that transactions can be made automatically so that we don’t have to call you for authorization, and you can keep track of things on our website instead?”

Customer: “Yes!” *muttering profanities* “Do that now!”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am, could I have your first and last name?”

Customer: “No!”

Me: “Sorry? I just need to match up your file. Could I have the phone number that we’ve been calling you at, then?”

Customer: “I don’t give out that kind of personal information.”

Me: “We would already have your information, ma’am, if you have a loan with us. I just need a name or a phone number to search so that we know who it is that doesn’t want to be called. You called in to us, so I don’t have your information in front of me.”

Customer: “No, I’m not going to give you my information!”

Me: “What…?”

Customer: “Are you a f****** idiot? Just stop calling me!”

(The customer hangs up. I’m baffled what to do, and I’ve already searched the inbound number, but it is a different number than the one we would have contacted and shows no search results in our system. After a minute of thought, I figure I should tell my manager, and I walk into his office. He is on the phone with a customer.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I would be happy to hear your complaint, but there’s not much I can do unless you tell me when you called so I can find out who you were talking to. No, we already have your information; I’m not trying to get anything personal from you… Could we have the phone number you want us to stop calling then? What…? Why not?”

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Not Getting Through His Head

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Money

(I work at a call center for a financial company. We deal with loans and sometimes have to contact our clients about their accounts. I call one of them.)

Me: “Hi, could I please speak to—”

Customer: “You have the wrong number!” *hangs up*

Coworker: “I guess he’s not worried about his payment not going through?”

Me: “He’s going to be one of the people who calls back angry and screams about how nobody tried to tell him.”

Coworker: “And just like that it will be the right number again. Magic.”

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Got To Give Him Credit For Trying, Part 4

, | WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I take customer service calls for a bank, and occasionally we have individuals that call in mistaking us for a credit card company. Most of the time when this happens we can simply correct their mistake and send them on their way. This was not one of those individuals.)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] with [Bank]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “I’m trying to make a damn credit card payment!”

Me: “All right! As much as I would like to help you with that, this is [Bank] not [Credit Card Company]. Don’t worry, it’s a common mistake when you search for the number over the Internet. If you just look at the back of your card–”

Caller: “—NO! I’ve been trying to make a credit card payment for the last half hour, and I’m not playin’ anymore. Either you take my damn payment or transfer me to a supervisor!”

Me: *short pause* “As I’ve stated, this is [Bank] and neither I nor any of my management staff can process a payment on your card. If you just look at the back of your card–”

(Interrupts again.)

Caller: “F*** you!”

Me: “Excuse me?” *obligatory statement about call being recorded and policy on profanity, which caller interrupts*

Caller: “Process my f***ing payment! I called the number on the back of the card and I ain’t holding anymore! Process my payment or I’m gonna find you and f*** you up!”

Me: “So you called the number on the back of your card, got frustrated, hung up, and called [Bank] instead to have a payment for [Credit Card] processed?”

Caller: “YES! So are you gonna process my payment or are we gonna have a f***ing problem?”

Me: “Sir, do you go to McDonald’s, order a pizza, and expect them to make one?”

Caller: “What the f*** does that have to do with processing my payment?”

Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

Caller: “You gonna have a f***ed up d—”

Me: *click*

Related:

Got To Give Him Credit For Trying, Part 3

Got To Give Him Credit For Trying, Part 2

Got To Give Him Credit For Trying

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Bordering On Ridiculous

| The Hague, Netherlands | Transportation

(Our national touring club has an alarm call centre of its own. I’m doing the so-called intake of foreign calls, getting people on the phone with a broken car or motorbike all over Europe.)

Me: “Good afternoon, this is [Touring Club] alarm centre. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: *thick Twente accent* “Hello. We had a breakdown here in Belgium, and a towing truck came and brought us to a depannage. Could you send someone over?”

(Usually, a car having been towed means it’s an existing case and we already called out for help. But this sounds different.)

Me: “Let me see. Did you already give us a phone call about your problem, ma’am?”

Caller: “No, I just used one of those emergency phones on the roadside. They said I had to call you about payment and sending a repairman.”

Me: “All right, so it’s a new call. Let’s start filling in the case file, shall we?”

(Over the phone, I ask her for several things. However, no valid insurance policy pops up. They’re only insured for Dutch Road Guard, not for help in other countries.)

Me: “Ma’am, is it right you only have a policy for help in the Netherlands?”

Caller: “Yes, but the man of the towing truck said it wouldn’t matter, since it’s all the same.”

Me: “Not quite, but let me see what I can do.”

(I put her on hold. With all the information about their location and everything I go to my superior. Note that for some foreign people, the Netherlands and Belgium might seem like dwarf states, but that for us, half way through Belgium is considered quite far from the border.)

Superior: “Well, they should have had an insurance policy for Europe. We can’t cover for any Belgian help. The only thing we could do is send some Dutch road guard over, but only if they are close to the border. Where are they now?”

Me: “[Town].”

Superior: “Sounds Francophone. I bet it’s a town in Wallonia.” *Southern, French-speaking half of Belgium*

Me: “Yeah, it’s near Liege.”

Superior: “That’s too far away. We can’t send help.”

Me: “Fine. The Belgian tow company apparently said it didn’t matter.”

Superior: “Then he was wrong.”

(I get back to the phone.)

Me: “Sorry to keep you waiting, ma’am. Unfortunately it turns out there’s very little I can do. Since you’re not insured for foreign road guard we can’t cover the costs for you.”

Caller: “I see… after 25 years of membership and never having any trouble.”

(Some people really think that being a longtime member of anything gives you privileges. However, I think the rules just apply for everyone, unless the rules say differently.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am.”

Caller: “Well, then this ends our conversation.”

Me: “Very well, ma’am.”

Caller: “Is it possible I could withdraw my membership right now over the phone?!”

Me: “No, ma’am. You’d have to call our service department.”

(A Dutch saying says: “Give them one finger and they take your entire hand.” To be honest, some people just think they already have the entire hand. When finding out they don’t, they don’t want the finger anymore either.)

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Has No License To Be Psychic

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests

(I work for an electronic toll road and we often get vehicle updates from our customers. This situation happens more often than it should.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m calling to update my license plate number. I got a new car and want to add it to my account.”

Me: “That’s great! Congratulations on the new car. What is the new plate number?”

Customer: “Oh, umm… I didn’t know I would need that.”

Me: “Has your license plate changed?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And you would like to add the new plate to the account?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Then I will need to know the plate number so I can add it to your account.”

Customer: “Can’t you just find it for me?”

Me: “I don’t know where I can possibly look to find it. I’m afraid you’ll have to call back with the new information or add it to the account online.”

Customer: “You people are impossible!”

(I’m very sorry that I wasn’t gifted with psychic abilities in order to guess your plate information.)

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