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Has Ground-Zero Excuse To Behave That Way

| New York City, NY, USA | Bad Behavior

(This takes place in 2001. I’m a bill collector for a clothing store. After the 9/11 attacks, we stop calling New York and other affected areas for a few weeks. It is now early October:)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] calling from [Company]. May I speak to [Customer], please?”

Customer: “Yes, this is [Customer], but I can’t talk right now. My roommate is missing in the WTC attack.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that! I’ll try back later.”

(One week later:)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] calling from [Company]. May I speak to [Customer], please?”

Unidentified Female: “Oh, that’s my roommate! She’s missing in the WTC attack.”

(There was a website with a list of missing/deceased people in the attacked areas and luckily she wasn’t on it. She was fine when I spoke to her in early October, but the next week she was missing due to the September attacks. This was the most reprehensible way someone had tried to dodge my collection call.)

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Donating Is A Scream

| LA, USA | Bizarre, Popular

(I work as a donation solicitor. My job is to call numbers out of the phonebook and ask them if they’d like to donate to a fire department.)

Me: “He—”

Customer: *blood-curdling shriek*

(I’m just sitting there, shaking, the phone now about a foot from my head, everyone staring at me. And then I start to hear laughter from the phone.)

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: *laughing* “I’m sorry about that; I just had to do it. What was it you wanted?”

Me: “Uh, would you like to donate to [Fire Department]?”

Customer: “Certainly! You can mark me down for fifty dollars!”

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Has An Asian Dissuasion, Part 2

| Seattle, WA, USA | Bigotry

(I’m speaking to an older Southern woman and we’re just getting to the end of the call. I’m in Seattle and I don’t have an accent of any kind.)

Customer: “Well, thank you for helping me! Where are you from?”

Me: “I’m from—”

Customer: “—Oh, you’re probably from China or something. But at least you talk normal!”

Related:
Has An Asian Dissuasion

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It’s All In The Delivery

| Seattle, WA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work for the call center in a high end department store. Our protocol for when customers claim to not have received a package that their tracking shows as delivered is to replace it unless the customer has history on their profile less than six months ago, in which case further research must be conducted.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; my name is [My Name]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Yeah, I didn’t get my package.”

Me: “All right, let me pull up the order.”

(I pull it up and check the tracking that shows it having been delivered.)

Me: “Yes, I see that it shows delivered on [date], but you never received it?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “All right, let me take a look. I’m going to put you on a brief hold.”

(While she’s on hold I check her profile. There’s a similar incident on her profile four days ago. And two weeks ago. And a month ago. This is usually indicative of a potential fraud.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. It looks like you’ve been having quite a few delivery issues!”

Customer: “Um… yeah.”

Me: “Well, we definitely want to figure out what’s going on so I’m going to pass this along to our delivery research team so we can fix the problem.”

Customer: “Um, no, that won’t be necessary.”

Me: “Oh, no, we insist.”

Customer: *click*

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Surveyed The Bar Before The Call

| Kansas City, KS, USA | Food & Drink

(Just another day in a survey company, when I encounter the following:)

Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name] calling for [Office] on behalf of [Insurance Company]. Have you called [Insurance Company] recently?”

(The customer answers, in a very slow, and obviously intoxicated manner.)

Customer: “Ermm, no… I don’t remember… I’m too drunk…”

(Since I’m just gathering opinions, I tend to be lenient on people and just accept this as a valid reason to not participate in a survey.)

Me: “Umm… okay? That’s a good reason. Well… Thank you for your help, though. I hope you have a good rest of the night!”

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