(My coworkers and I are in a week long training session on a new client. One of my coworkers is notoriously ditzy, and is having problems with a couple of programs. Our trainer tells her to submit a help desk ticket to get the problem resolved during our afternoon break.)

Coworker: “Okay, guys. How do I do this?”

Me: “You just go to [program] and fill out a ticket with what issue you’re having.”

Coworker: “That’s it?”

(One of my other coworkers, a known techie, pipes up.)

Techie: “Well, you should include a ‘tech code’. That way IT will know what you’re talking about. It’s a computer thing.”

(At this point there’s just a few of us in the room and he shoots us all a look to tell us that he’s pulling her leg while she’s not looking. So, we all play along.)

Me: “Oh, yah. That’s right, I always forget. What code should she use, [Techie]?”

Techie: “Type 1MAT007.” *tech speak for ‘I’m a Tool’*

Coworker: “Awesome, thanks!”

(She filled out the form and submitted it. Not ten minutes later we can hear the IT guy laughing all the way down the hall as he walks over to our training room.)

IT Guy: “So, you’re a tool?”

Coworker: “I’m a what?”

(We all burst out laughing. She didn’t get it and kept asking us, ‘What? What are you guys laughing at?’. The next day she came in and went right up to our techie.)

Coworker: “I looked up ‘tool’ on the Internet and I AM NOT A GULLIBLE OR EASILY MANIPULATED PERSON!”

(Like many other call centers, if a customer immediately wants to speak to a supervisor, we’re supposed to get as much information as possible and see if we can solve the problem ourselves, since the number of escalations is factored into performance reviews and bonuses. I overhear a coworker on a call.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [Coworker]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I want to speak to a supervisor.”

Coworker: “Okay, ma’am, but first may I ask what the issue is and have your account number, so that my supervisor can better assist you?”

Caller: “It’s [number], and I’m calling because I lost my user manual and requested a replacement, but I never received it! I want the person I talked to before fired!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. When did you request the replacement?”

Caller: “Ten minutes ago!”

(My coworker looks at the account and sees there was an order placed a few minutes before for a free physical copy of the manual to be sent out.)

Coworker: “Oh, I do see the order here, but they must’ve misunderstood. You wanted it via email?”

Caller: “No, regular mail.”

Coworker: “… then it wouldn’t have arrived yet, ma’am. The order was placed, but it needs to ship out. You should have it within two business days, unless you want it sent via email instead.”

Caller: “No, regular mail! Don’t argue with me! I’m not doing this for me! I’m doing it for you!”

(This goes back and forth for a couple of minutes, but eventually she hangs up without speaking to a supervisor, though she still demands that the previous agent be fired.)

Coworker: “I bet she’ll call back wanting ME to be fired for not teleporting her user manual to her.”

(I have just asked a customer for the serial number on his TV. He informs me he needs to get a flashlight to see it. He is silent for a minute, and then speaks up sounding rather irritated.)

Customer: “Are you going to get me a flashlight, sir?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I need a flashlight or you’re not getting the serial number.”

Me: “I can’t give you a flashlight, sir. I’m only on the phone with you.”

Customer: “Please get me a flashlight.”

Me: “I cannot get you a flashlight. You are in Florida. I’m in Montana.”

Customer: “Do you want my serial number or not?”

Me: “Yes. I need it to set you up for service, but I can’t wave my hands and magically make a flashlight appear in your hand.”

Customer: “Your service is horrible.”

Me: *muting my phone* “I want to go home now.”

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like to order a replacement statement.”

Me: “Okay, sure thing. First to access your account, I’ll ask a couple of verification questions.”

Customer: “Okay!”

Me: “May I have your address please?”

Customer: “Address? What you mean like, where I live?”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Customer: *gives address*

(After verifying my customer I then proceed to his request.)

Me: “Okay, sir. I have your statements ready to be sent. Would you like it sent to the address on file or an alternate?”

Customer: “I don’t live an alternative lifestyle.  I  just want my statements.”

(I work for a market research company, where we called people and conduct surveys about various products, business concerns, or political issues. I have been promoted from dialing surveys to training supervisor, where I train new hires how to use our computer system to correctly conduct surveys. I am giving my introductory spiel about the company.)

Me: “We here at [Company] are a very diverse company, welcoming people from all races, backgrounds, countries, faiths, sexual preferences, etcetera. It is important for you to know that you are supported here. I am aware that people of Islamic faith may need special prayer time that falls outside the prescribed 15 minute break and may also prefer privacy for this. Please don’t hesitate to approach your supervisor and let them know you need to pray. We have an equipment room in the back with enough room for you to pray as you need. I’ll show you when we tour the main office and dialing floor. If for some reason your supervisor does not authorize you to go pray, please come find me on the floor or in the training room and I will make sure you are excused so you may go pray. We don’t want anyone to feel discriminated against for any reason.”

(Everything seems fine until several days later, when the operations manager, floor manager, and main office manager call me into a meeting.)

Main Manager: “The reason we asked you in here today, [My Name], is because we’ve received a very disturbing report about you.”

Me: “What?! What disturbing report?”

Main Manager: “One of your trainees said you were calling unfair attention to Muslim people and felt it was discriminatory.”

Ops Manager: “I didn’t want to believe that about you but then I sat in on your orientation and you talked about Muslims and prayer time.”

Main Manager: “Yes. We have you on tape saying those things, so unfortunately we’re going to have to fire you.”

Me: “Fire me?! For WHAT?”

Main Manager: “Racism.”

Me: “What?!”

Main Manager: “Yes. The trainee felt you were deliberately pointing out who the Muslim students were and felt very uncomfortable about it and felt it was racist of you to do so. We have agreed with them. Please sign this dismissal agreement.”

(Pushes a dismissal paper towards me where I’m to acknowledge by signing that I’m being fired and why and that I would not be allowed to collect any unemployment benefits because of this. I’m so floored by all of this that I mutely sign, as it’s clear they won’t listen to me. Then they try to hurriedly hush me up and shove me out of the office. They allow me to get my things from my locker but I am forbidden to talk to anyone on my way out. I manage to tell one fellow trainer before I’m shut up and she’s shocked and dumbfounded as well, but they stop me again and make sure I get my things and leave the office. I’m left in the hallway by the elevator, just me and the Ops Manager.)

Ops Manager: “I’m sorry it happened this way. You were really very good and I know your trainees and coworkers really liked you. I did, too. If you need a reference letter, I’ll be glad to write you a good one.”

Me: *crying* “N-No, that’s o-o-okay. I just—”

(The elevator arrives.)

Ops Manager: “I’m sorry about this. You take care, okay? *pointedly waits for me to get into the elevator*

(I was so confused and traumatised by this, having worked for this company for six years and caused little trouble, that I didn’t pursue the issue legally in any way. I also didn’t take the Ops Manager up on his offer of a referral letter, considering what he just participated in against me. I DID make my case to the Unemployment Agency and they saw fit to authorize me to draw unemployment until I could get a new job.)