Forgetting The Juicy Details

, , , , | Right | April 21, 2010

Me: “Thank you so much for calling [Company]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Hi! My phone is not working. I need you guys to send me a new one!”

Me: “Sure, I’ll be more than happy to assist you with that. First, I need to ask you some questions. Is your phone water damaged?”

Customer: “Not at all! I’m really careful with my phones.”

Me: “Okay, good. Ma’am, has the phone been dropped?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then what happened to the phone, ma’am?”

Customer: “My little son dropped my phone on his apple juice.”

Me: “Ma’am, I asked you before if your phone was water damaged.”

Customer: “Well, you said water, not juice. It’s not the same, is it?”

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At The Corner Of Me & Myself

, , , , , | Right | April 15, 2010

Customer: “I’m looking for a taxi in my town, please.”

Me: “Okay. Where are you, sir?”

Customer: “In my living room.”

Me: “Which town are you in?”

Customer: “The junction by the nursing home.”

Me: “No… which town are you in, please?”

Customer: “You’re not very bright, are you?”


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Imagine If It Had Been India…

, , | Right | April 13, 2010

Caller: “So, where are you located?”

Me: “Canada.”

Caller: “Oh, my God! I’m speaking to Canada!”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Wow, you speak English really good!”

Me: “Uh, thank you?”

Caller: *yells to husband excitedly* “Hey, Bobby! I’m speaking to a foreign country!”

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No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 3

, , , , , | Right | April 13, 2010

Me: “Welcome, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, what’s the time in the UK now?”

Me: “Its 9:00 pm. They’re ten hours behind.”

Customer: “Oh, so if I call the UK in another half hour, what time will it be?”

Me: “It’ll be 9:30 pm.”

Customer: “You mean if half an hour passes here, it will also be half an hour later there?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: *surprised* “Oh! So, that’s how it works?”

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Replacing One Clause With Another

, , , | Right | April 12, 2010

(I’m talking to a caller about warranty issues for their kitchen appliance.)

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, that serial number tells me that your appliance is out of warranty. Do you happen to have a sales receipt or other proof of purchase showing it was purchased during the warranty period?”

Caller: “No, it was a gift. I just got it for Christmas.”

Me: “I am sorry to hear that, sir. Is there any way you would be able to get the receipt from the person who got it for you? Or even a bank or credit card statement showing the date of purchase?”

Caller: “But it was a gift!”

Me: “I understand, sir, but without a proof of purchase, there’s nothing I can do under warranty. Are you positive you can’t check with the gift-giver and see if you can get something showing the date of purchase?”

Caller: “It was from Santa!”

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