Unfiltered Story #161918

, , | Unfiltered | September 4, 2019

(I used to work in a call center that, among other things, dealt with various types of insurance. We received many weird and random calls, but this one honestly made me think I was being punked. I was sure no one could be that stupid. I was wrong.)

Me: (company name), (my name) speaking, how can I help?

Customer: Yeah . . . Hi . . . I was just reading this insurance brochure you sent out, and it says to call [claims line number that is different to ours] if I want to make a claim.

Me: Yes, that is correct.

Customer: So . . . I want to make a claim. Do I call that number, or can I just speak to you about it?

Me: *unable to speak*

Unfiltered Story #161900

, , , | Unfiltered | September 3, 2019

I work in the Online Sales Dept at a place that sells customizable promotional products such as foam-based can kuuzies, Igloo brand coolers, etc. Part of my job is to answer customer’s questions over the phone. One day, I get this gem:

Me: Hi, this is [Name]. How may I help you?
Customer: Hi! I was browsing your website and I saw your “customizable digital can kuuzies.” I was just wondering: are the kuuzies real? Like, can I actually use it and put a drink in it?
[I hesitate for a second, wondering if it’s a prank, but the customer seems sincere.]
Me: Uhh, yes, ma’am. The kuuzies are real and you can put them on your drink.
Customer: Oh, good! Thanks! [click]

Unfiltered Story #161872

, , , | Unfiltered | August 31, 2019

(I work in a call center for the Philadelphia Orchestra. One of the upcoming concerts we have has Yo-Yo Ma as a featured soloist. One day we receive an email in our inbox with the following question, this is unedited from the way we received it.

Patron: “Do you Yo Yo Ma? When? Yo Yo Ma and cheese steaks. There’s a deal for this, yes? I want to see Yo Yo Ma and have cheese steaks with him during the meet and greet. “

Welcome To Apocalypse-Mart, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | August 29, 2019

(I work in a large call center for an international grocery store. It’s my first week, and I’ve just finished helping an old lady with her query.)

Customer: “Thank you so much, young man! I have to ask though, young man, do you believe in our Lord Jesus Christ?”

(I remember back to my training, where I was told to avoid all religious discussion.)

Me: “I don’t think that’s relevant to me helping you today, ma’am. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Now, young man! I need to know if I was helped by a Christian or by a heathen!”

(I look over to my supervisor, who’s been listening in to the whole conversation. He gives me a thumbs up and a wink.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I am an atheist.”

Customer:Heathen! You will burn in Hell if you do not accept the Lord as your savior! I demand to speak to your supervisor at once!

Me: “I’ll be glad to do that for you, ma’am. Give me a moment.”

(From this point on, I can only hear my supervisor speaking…)

Supervisor: “Yes, ma’am, I hear you have a complaint about one of my employees?” *pause* “I see.” *pause* “That’s terrible.” *pause* “I apologise, ma’am, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to terminate the call. I’ve just been told it is time for our hourly sacrifice to Satan.”

(The woman’s response is loud enough for me to hear over his headset.)

Customer: “HEATHENS!” *click*

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Needs A Hotel Gat-Quick! Don’t Be Heath-Slow About It!  

, , , | Right | August 29, 2019

(The following conversation takes place when an American lady calls into the hotel reservations call centre I work for. She is on a ferry from France to the UK and needs a hotel near the airport as she is flying back to the US the next day.)

Me: “I can check availability for you with no problem. Which airport are you flying out from?”

Caller: “London.” 

Me: “Which London airport? There are six airports with ‘London’ in the title.”

Caller: “London Airport.”

Me: “Which London airport? Gatwick, Heathrow, Stansted, Luton, City, or Southend?”

Caller: “Just London Airport!”

Me: “There is no airport that is just called ‘London Airport.’ It is most likely to be Gatwick, but I think Heathrow also flies to the US. Could you have a look at what it says on the ticket?” 

Caller: “Just book me into the closest hotel to London Airport! It’s not hard! I have an early flight and I need to be as close to the airport as possible!”

Me: “There are six airports in and around London, and they are all called ‘London’ something. They are hours apart. If I book you into the wrong airport hotel, you will have to travel by taxi or train for at least an hour to get to any other airport in London. We are open for another two hours if you would like to check which airport you are flying out from.”

Caller: “There is only one airport in London! It’s not that big. Nothing in England is! Book me into the London Airport hotel!”

Me: “There are six London Airports!” 

(This went on for quite a while. All the time she was consulting with three other people in the background, all of whom insisted that they were flying from London Airport. Eventually, she harassed me into making her a reservation, so I chose London Gatwick. I never found out if I had guessed correctly.)

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