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Surveyed The Bar Before The Call

| Kansas City, KS, USA | Food & Drink

(Just another day in a survey company, when I encounter the following:)

Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name] calling for [Office] on behalf of [Insurance Company]. Have you called [Insurance Company] recently?”

(The customer answers, in a very slow, and obviously intoxicated manner.)

Customer: “Ermm, no… I don’t remember… I’m too drunk…”

(Since I’m just gathering opinions, I tend to be lenient on people and just accept this as a valid reason to not participate in a survey.)

Me: “Umm… okay? That’s a good reason. Well… Thank you for your help, though. I hope you have a good rest of the night!”

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Confusion Brewing

, | Montreal, QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work in a food delivery call center as a team leader on evening shift when one of the agents on my team comes to tell me he has a lady on the line who would like to “submit a comment.” I ask him to send her to me so I can talk with her.)

Me: “Good evening, madam. My name is [My Name]. How could I be of service tonight?”

Caller: “Good evening, sir. I would like to submit a comment, but it’s not a complaint, though.”

Me: “Oh, no problem, you can go on. I will note it down and send it to our HQ without any problem.”

Caller: “I received a little tea bag with every order I made with you. I find the attention very sweet, however every time I infused it after eating, the taste is a little weird. Maybe you should verify your expiry date.”

(I know that the restaurant hasn’t been selling tea for years, so I ask the lady for more detail.)

Caller: “Well you know it’s in a square-shaped little bag and it seems to be your house brand because it has your emblem on it.”

(That’s when I realised she had been drinking infused wet napkins.)

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The Last Thing You Want In A Bank Is An Alarm

| UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work in the customer service sector of a call centre for a well-known bank in the UK. I am working a later shift and it’s almost nine pm when an elderly gentleman calls.)

Customer: “Hi there, I’d like to order an alarm call.”

Me: “An alarm call… What exactly do you mean by that, sir?”

Customer: “You know, an alarm call! Like, you call me at a certain time?”

Me: “All right… is the call to discuss anything in particular to do with your bank account? Are you looking to make an appointment within a branch today?”

Customer: *getting frustrated* “NO, I just want you to call me at nine o’clock tomorrow morning to wake me up!”

Me: “Sir, that’s not a service we offer. Are you aware you’ve phoned the bank?”

Customer: “Yes! And it is a service you USED to offer. Why don’t you do it anymore?”

Me: “I can assure you that we have never ever offered an ‘alarm call’ service.”

Customer: “You’re bloody useless; I’ll try my other bank.”