(I work in a call center for an online retail giant, currently selling wireless devices. Some of my contacts are by e-mail and I got this whopper today.)
Customer: “I apologize for not knowing the name of the wireless device, but I would like to purchase one. Would you be able to tell me what it was with this limited info?”
(I handle insurance claims that can be done over the phone. When I’m on the phone with one customer and another line rings, I try to answer and let them know I’ll call them back so they don’t have to leave a message. The following exchange happens almost every time:)
Me: “Thank you for calling the claims department. This is [My Name]. I’m actually on the other line right now. If I can get your name, phone number, and claim number, I can give you a call back as soon as I’m done with this other call!
(Silence.)
Me: “Hello? Is anyone there?”
Caller: “Oh, I was waiting for a beep.”
(This has started to happen so much that I have to intentionally say things like “uh” or “um” or mumble/hiccup so they don’t think I’m a recording!)
(I work the graveyard shift in a large, customer service call center for a national bank. For last break, several of us try to take break at the same time. I am on a particularly frustrating call while my coworkers tap their feet waiting for me. I explain for the umpteenth time what the customer has to do to solve their problem and hurry up to end the long frustrating phone call. We go to break but another worker has a doozy of a story so I do not get to tell mine until we are walking back in. I am complaining about the woman while I picked up my headset.)
Customer On The Headset: “Do you always talk about your customers that way?”
Me: “Oh, dear Lord. Hello? I am so, so, so, sorry! You heard that? See, it has been a bad night and we were on break. I was not on the clock—” *babbling a mile a minute panicked*
Customer: *starts laughing* “It’s fine! I worked in retail so I understand. You didn’t say any personal info so no harm done. You guys must have really good headsets. I heard you all the way back in. Don’t worry, I won’t say anything, I understand the need to vent. But turn your equipment off next time!”
Me: “I cannot thank you enough! Now if you would be so patient as to let me log into my computer, I will be more than happy to help with whatever you need. You need a kidney tonight? You got one!”
(We both laughed. Lady just needed to see if a deposit posted at midnight. Thank you for making my night! I could have been fired!)
(My coworker takes this call towards the end of the day:)
Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Newspaper]. [Coworker] speaking. How may I help you?”
Caller: “Yes, I have a question. Can you help me?”
Coworker: “I’ll try. What is your question?”
Caller: *in a very snippy tone* “Well, THANK YOU very much!” *hangs up*
Coworker: “What just happened?”
(I work for the unemployment hotline for Pennsylvania. Money gets deposited at 12 am on Thursdays but doesn’t usually become available until a few minutes later. At 12:01 a recipient calls in, obviously intoxicated, and from the music in the background is probably at the bar.)
Me: “Thank you for calling the unemployment hotline. How can I help you?”
Recipient: “Yeah, my money isn’t on my d*** card! What the h*** is going on?”
Me: “Well, sometimes it can take a few minutes for the money to be available, and—”
Recipient: “I just want my f****** money and you need to give it to me!”
Me: “Sir, if you can just be patient, and you filed this week, it should be there.”
Recipient: “Well, it better be or I’m gonna come down there and rape—” *stops himself* “—I’m, I’m gonna be very upset.”
Me: “Ok. Well, is there anything else I can do for you?”
Recipient: “No, that’s all. I’m sorry. I’m very drunk.”
