Cutting Down Credit Fraud

| Managua, Nicaragua | Right | July 15, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [bank], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hey man! I got some fraudulent charges on my credit card.”

Me: “Ok sir, I understand let me help you report this.”

Caller: “Don’t worry son, I already took care of it.”

Me: “So you already called to report it?”

Caller: “No son, I cut my credit card in thousands of pieces. Now I need a new one.”

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Stupidity Makes A Good Case

| Online | Right | July 12, 2010

Customer: “I received an cell phone case in the mail today. You sent the wrong item.”

Me: “It looks like you ordered a neon green silicone case for 50 cents and shipping was $2.00. What did you receive?”

Customer: “A bright green phone case.”

Me: “What is the problem with it?”

Customer: “So the $2.50 wasn’t for a phone?”

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Wishy-Washy Analogies

| Kentucky, USA | Right | July 9, 2010

(I work for a place that sells towing systems.)

Caller: “Yes, I was wondering if my car needs to be there when they install the mounting brackets for the tow-bar?”

Me: “Yes, sir. Since the mounting brackets are installed on your car, you car will need to be there”

Caller: “Why? I don’t understand.”

Me: “Well, sir, the mounting brackets are permanently attached to your vehicle. In order to attach them to your vehicle, we will need your vehicle to be there.”

Caller: “I’m not sure if I follow.”

Me: “Well, sir, say you come to my house so I can wash your car, but you ride your bicycle. Well since your car isn’t there, that means I can’t wash it.”

Caller: “Oh, I get it now…I think.”

Me: “Great, is there anything else I can help you with?”

Caller: “So, you all have to wash my car to do it. That’s why it has to be there!”

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Re-Ink Needs A Rethink

| v | Right | July 5, 2010

Me: “Good morning, how can I help you out?”

Caller: “I need ink.”

Me: “What type of printer do you have?”

Caller: “Inkjet.”

Me: “I need to know the model. It should be on the front of the printer.”

Caller: “It’s a laptop.”

Me: “That’s the computer. I need to know which kind of printer you have.”

Caller: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The printer should be near the laptop. It is where you insert the paper.”

Caller: “I don’t have that.”

Me: “You need a printer in order to print.”

Caller: “But my computer says it can print. There is even a key for it.”

Me: “All computers have the ability to print if you have a printer connected to them.”

Caller: “Does this mean you don’t have the ink I need?”

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Till Password Reset Do Us Part

| Glasgow, UK | Right | July 1, 2010

Me: “Okay, all I need now is the security password you gave us when you opened your account.”

Customer: “No idea.”

Me: *seeing the password is a girl’s name* “Most people choose something or someone familiar…”

Customer: “Lisa? Scott? Elizabeth? Rusty? Oh! Is it my mother’s maiden name?”

Me: “No, so I’m just going to check if you’ve left yourself a hint but it takes a second.”

Customer: “Well there’s just no point in you checking it has to be one of those names. I never ever use anything else. If I did, I don’t know it. I must have set this years ago. How am I supposed to remember that?”

Me: “Are you sure you don’t one more try? Your hint is ‘wife’.”

Customer: “Emma! Don’t tell her I forgot that!”

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