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Some Calls Need A Screening Process

, , , , | Right | July 11, 2018

(I work in a call centre supporting IT. We have a remote tool which allows us to view the customer’s screens.)

Me: “Good morning, and thank you for calling [Call Centre]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’ve been opening my emails, and they show the box on the taskbar, showing they are open, but they’re not showing on my screen! It’s useless! I’ve tried everything including rebooting…”

(The customer goes on like this for a few minutes, saying how his computer never works and the system is rubbish, etc.)

Me: “Can I just take your Personal Identification Number, please?”

(I confirm a few basic details, including computer details, so I can remote over to his screen.)

Me: “Brilliant. I’ll remote across now; just make sure everything private is closed.”

(The customer approves my remote connection. I can see two screens; one has his emails open on them, and I can see them fine.)

Me: “[Customer], do you have two screens?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Could you ensure your second screen is turned on, please?”

(A moment’s silence passes.)

Customer: “Oh, b*****ks!” *click*

Refunder Blunder, Part 38

, , , , | Right | July 11, 2018

(I work in a call center for an online, high-end store. Mostly, I help customers with their online orders and returns. We work with another company that provides 50% discounts to their members for use on our website. The following call takes place with a customer who used the 50% discount towards a product but then returned it, so he was refunded for the discounted amount that he paid.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for the status of my refund.”

Me: “I would be happy to check on that for you. Can you please provide me with the order number from which items were returned?”

(The customer gives me his information, I pull up his order and see that the refund was already processed, so I begin to give him the information.)

Me: “Okay, sir, looks like your refund was processed on November 14—” *which is about five months ago from the time of call* “—in the amount of $100.00. Would you like the confirmation number for your records?”

Customer: “Why is it only $100? The product I purchased cost $200!”

Me: “Yes, sir, but you used a 50% discount, so you only paid $100.”

Customer: “No, I want the full amount back!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we cannot refund you more money than what you actually paid.”

(The customer’s wife takes the phone from the customer and begins yelling at me.)

Customers Wife: “That’s not fair! We deserve the full amount!”

Me: “Ma’am, while it is true that the item was originally listed for $200, you used a discount and only paid $100 for the product. We’ve refunded you the full amount that you paid. We cannot give you back more than what you paid for the product.”

(The husband then takes the phone back.)

Customer: “Shut up!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You keep repeating the same stupid thing over and over again. Just give us back our money!”

Me: “Sir, I’m not sure how much clearer I can make this. We have already refunded you all of the money you paid to us in November. We cannot give you more money than what you paid. There is nothing more I can do for you regarding this matter.”

Customer: “I don’t accept that!”

(This goes back and forth for literally another twenty minutes, with me explaining what I think is common sense in every different way that I can, while the customer and his wife continually interrupt me.)

Customer’s Wife: “Well, that’s just not fair! Your refund policy states I have 90 days to return the item! It says so right here on my receipt!!”

Me: “Yes? And you did return the item. And then we refunded you in full. But that doesn’t change the fact that we can’t just give you an extra $100 for nothing, when you only paid $100 to begin with and we already refunded you that amount. We can’t give you more money than you initially gave to us.”

Customer: “Fine. If you can’t help me, then I want your manager! And I’ll never order from you again!

Me: “…” *transfers customer and then immediately puts myself in break status to go physically hide from the stupidity*

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 37
Refunder Blunder, Part 36
Refunder Blunder, Part 35

Just Lawyered Yourself

, , | Legal | July 10, 2018

(I work in a call center for a large communications company. One day a customer calls in wanting information on a customer’s account.)

Me: “I can help you with that, sir. Please give me the telephone number.”

Caller: “It is [number].”

Me: “Thank you. Your name and account number, please.”

Caller: “I don’t have the account number.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but without account verification I am not able to provide you with any information on that account.”

Caller: “Look, buddy, I’m a lawyer and you f****** better give me that information or I will sue you and the company!”

Me: “Oh. You’re a lawyer?”

Caller: “D*** right. Now hurry up!”

Me: “Well, sir, I would assume that since you are a lawyer you would have a least a passing respect for the law, and you would also know, as a lawyer, that the information on customer’s accounts are protected by the PIPD Act. You would also know that if I gave you this information without proper verification it would open the company up to civil action and myself to termination of employment. I am not going to throw my job away just to make you happy.”

Caller: “F*** you!” *click*

New-Fangled Since The 1970s

, , , , , | Right | July 9, 2018

(I take phone calls for members about their credit and debit cards for a small bank. The year is 2016.)

Me: “How can I help you on your card today?”

Caller: “I need to dispute an item.”

(After I get all their details, I note the caller is in their early 50s.)

Me: “Okay, I just need to mail or fax the document to you to sign and return to us.”

Caller: “I don’t understand those newfangled gadgets; it’s because of those I’m having such a hard time doing business nowadays. Why can’t we just stick with mailing stuff? Why do you have to make everything so hard?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but to understand you correctly, you’re unable to get a fax?”

Caller: “Did you not hear me correctly? I do not understand those newfangled gadgets! Just mail me the documents!”

Me: “I will be happy to, sir.”

(I was very happy that I didn’t ask if he wanted the form emailed to him.)

You’re His Number One Call

, , , | Right | July 4, 2018

Customer: “Can you hold on for a moment?”

Me: “Sure!”

(The phone is set down for maybe two seconds, and she’s back.)

Customer: “So I need…”

(The customer continues to speak, while in the background is the sound of the customer peeing.)

Me: “Um… Yeah, I can help with that.”

(The call continued, and background noises from there forward included grunting noises and several splashdowns.)