Writing You A Blanco Check To Stay

, , , , , | Working | January 3, 2018

(I’m the only office administrator at my job who is fluent in Spanish. Despite this, my boss has been underpaying me, and all of his other workers that aren’t his family. I’ve just handed in my two weeks, as I’ve found a job that pays almost twice as much for almost the exact same job.)

Boss: “You can’t quit! What about our customers?”

Me: *shrugs* “You can find and hire someone else in that time, I’m sure.”

Boss: “Not someone white!”

(Suddenly my two weeks turned into now.)

Unfiltered Story #102716

, , , | Unfiltered | January 3, 2018

Me: “Thanks for calling [business name]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Hi, my laptop is frozen.”

Me: “Okay. Do you have a Mac or a PC?”

Customer: “I have a laptop.”

Me: “Okay, but what operating system do you have?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Do you have an apple on the back of your laptop?”

Customer: “It says Toshiba.”

Me: “Okay, you have a PC. Have tried restarting the computer?”

Customer: “No. It’s frozen.”

Me: “Try pushing the power button in the upper left hand corner of the keyboard.”

Customer: “No, that turns it on. You said to restart it.”

Me: “Yes, I did. The button can turn it off and on.”

Customer: “REALLY?!”

Unfiltered Story #102704

, , | Unfiltered | January 2, 2018

(I work for a major credit card company, in fraud prevention. Customer service calls in with a customer transfer for a suspicious caller, and it’s New Year’s Eve. The customer failed questioning with customer service and they were transferring him to me for further questions. I thought “no biggie, I’ll ask the highest level questions to fail him and put it into review.” Immediately, I can see he’s calling in on a number that’s not on file for the true customer’s phone information. As I’m going through the questions, however, it’s clear the caller is trying to sound sick, and he says this gem several times instead of a legitimate answer:)

Caller: “I’m too sick to answer these questions.”

(Of course, it’s a fail and I place it under review. I tell him the department security specialists will “straighten it out” and call him back within 48 hours, but he’s not done with trying to access our customer’s information.)

Caller: “Where’s your local office? I want to come talk to your specialists and explain what’s going on.”

(We only have four centers that customer-accessible departments are in, and you can only reach them by phone or online. These centers are in Utah (the office I’m in), Arizona, Delaware, and Ohio. The account address is in Florida. And even if he somehow gained knowledge of where we were located, he would be unable to get into the building without a badge.

So that call ends, and another one a few hours later really broke me.

This customer, thankfully, was a legitimate cardmember. However, his grasp of English left a lot to be desired. But from the broken language I could understand, I gathered quickly that his car had been broken into, that it was a rental, and his possessions had been stolen. But he still had his card and no fraudulent charges had been made on it. But he made mention of what he was trying to do, and it made me go completely silent for a few moments when I realized what that was:

The customer wanted to get rental car insurance THROUGH us, his CREDIT CARD!

Today made me lose a lot of my dwindling faith in humanity.


Directly Observing Credit Will Affect The Results

, , , , , | Right | December 28, 2017

(I work in a call center that tries to connect people with credit help. I get a customer on the phone, get through most of the scripted conversation, and give him the pitch for a credit repair company.)

Customer: “Wait, wait, wait. Are you pulling my credit?”

Me: “No, sir, I do not have authorization to do that, but [Credit Repair Company] can look at it to get a better idea of—”

Customer: *interrupting me* “No, you better not pull my credit, and they better not, either, because if you look at my credit it will bring it down.”

(This is not true, as the company only does soft pulls, not hard inquiries.)

Me: “Oh, no, sir. It won’t—”

Customer: *interrupting again* “Don’t you ‘oh, no’ me. If you look at my score, it will hurt my credit.”

Me: “No, sir, it won’t—”

Customer: “Oh, yeah? Why won’t it?”

Me: “Because, sir, [Credit Repair Company] only does soft pulls; they don’t do hard inquiries, which means it won’t show up on your credit report.”

Customer: “So, you’re guaranteeing to me, personally, that what they’re doing won’t hurt my credit?”

Me: “No, sir, they will not hurt your credit.”

Customer: “Because if they go and look at my credit and it hurts my credit, I’m going to personally sue you, and take away your house.”

(I have no idea how he thinks he might go about that, as he only has my first name and no idea where I live, and I happen to live in an apartment, so…)

Me: “No, sir, it will not hurt your credit.”

Customer: *starting to calm down* “Okay, well…”

(At this point the line went kind of fuzzy, and there was also a blip from his end that covered up what he was saying.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t quite hear that.”

Customer: “Ah. Okay, buh-bye now.” *hangs up*

Doesn’t Seem To Realize Where English Comes From

, , , , , | Right | December 27, 2017

(After assisting a customer with an account issue.)

Customer: “I hate having to speak to all these foreigners before speaking to a real American. They can’t even speak English half the time. Thank God I am speaking to a real American.”

Me: “I will say, it can be hard to understand some of our overseas reps at times.”

Customer: “Yeah, lucky you and I were born in the USA. Real Americans.”

Me: “Actually, I was born in England, in the UK.”

(Shocked silence.)

Customer: “Well, you speak English real good. Fooled me.”

Me: “Uhh… Thanks? Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “No, no.” *muttering to himself before he disconnects the call* “D*** fooled me. Don’t know what’s going on in the world these days. Can’t tell the foreigners from the Americans!”

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