icon_bizarresilly

Donating Is A Scream

| LA, USA | Bizarre, Popular

(I work as a donation solicitor. My job is to call numbers out of the phonebook and ask them if they’d like to donate to a fire department.)

Me: “He—”

Customer: *blood-curdling shriek*

(I’m just sitting there, shaking, the phone now about a foot from my head, everyone staring at me. And then I start to hear laughter from the phone.)

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: *laughing* “I’m sorry about that; I just had to do it. What was it you wanted?”

Me: “Uh, would you like to donate to [Fire Department]?”

Customer: “Certainly! You can mark me down for fifty dollars!”

icon_bigotry

Has An Asian Dissuasion, Part 2

| Seattle, WA, USA | Bigotry

(I’m speaking to an older Southern woman and we’re just getting to the end of the call. I’m in Seattle and I don’t have an accent of any kind.)

Customer: “Well, thank you for helping me! Where are you from?”

Me: “I’m from—”

Customer: “—Oh, you’re probably from China or something. But at least you talk normal!”

Related:
Has An Asian Dissuasion

icon_liarsscammers

It’s All In The Delivery

| Seattle, WA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work for the call center in high end department store. Our protocol for when customers claim to not have received a package that their tracking shows as delivered is to replace it unless the customer has history on their profile less than six months ago, in which case further research must be conducted.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; my name is [My Name]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Yeah, I didn’t get my package.”

Me: “All right, let me pull up the order.”

(I pull it up and check the tracking that shows it having been delivered.)

Me: “Yes, I see that it shows delivered on [date], but you never received it?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “All right, let me take a look. I’m going to put you on a brief hold.”

(While she’s on hold I check her profile. There’s a similar incident on her profile four days ago. And two weeks ago. And a month ago. This is usually indicative of a potential fraud.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. It looks like you’ve been having quite a few delivery issues!”

Customer: “Um… yeah.”

Me: “Well, we definitely want to figure out what’s going on so I’m going to pass this along to our delivery research team so we can fix the problem.”

Customer: “Um, no, that won’t be necessary.”

Me: “Oh, no, we insist.”

Customer: *click*