We Few, We Unhappy Few

| Houston, TX, USA | Right | July 12, 2012

(After receiving excellent customer service from a representative, I ask to be transferred to a supervisor.)

Supervisor: “Hello, I’m [name]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hello! I was just working with [name of rep], and I wanted to tell someone what a great job she did. She was patient, friendly, efficient and knowledgeable, and she really helped me out.”

Supervisor: “I’m very glad to hear that! Thanks so much for bringing this to my attention! I sincerely apologize!”

Me: “Um…you apologize?”

Supervisor: “Oops. I meant to say ‘appreciate’. I guess I’m just used to taking calls and immediately having to apologize.”

Me: *laughing* “No worries whatsoever. I work in customer service, too.”

Supervisor: “OH. Then you know.”

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Ceiling Cat Is Watching You

| USA | Right | July 9, 2012

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi there, my name is Charlie—”

Customer: “Charlie’s a boy’s name! You’re a girl!”

Me: “Yes, sir. Anyway, I’m calling from [company name] to talk to you about the new security system we’re offering.”

Customer: “I don’t need it.”

Me: “Are you sure? It’s really nifty and it has all sorts of special features if you’d allow me to describe them.”

Customer: “Nah. I’ve got my girlfriend’s cat.”

Me: “A…cat, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah. Any time anyone comes in the house, he won’t leave them alone until they feed him. He’s really cute, but it’s the most irritating thing ever. They’d get annoyed and leave!”

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Butting In

| Ridgewood, NJ, USA | Right | July 5, 2012

(My job involves calling people to set up demos. During one such phone call, the following occurs.)

Me: “Hello, is [name] there?”

Customer: “No, she’s not at home right now. This is her husband.”

Me: “Okay, is there a better time for me to reach her?”

(Suddenly, I hear someone pick up the phone. It’s a child’s voice, and very audible.)

Young Voice:Hello?

Customer: *ignores her* “Well, what are you calling in reference to?”

Young Voice:Dad?

Me: “I’m friends with [friend], and she said your wife might be nice enough to help me out with something.”

Young Voice:Dad?

Customer: *to his kid* “One second, sweetie.” *to me* “You know, why don’t I take a message?”

Young Voice:Dad?

Me: “Yeah, that works, too.”

Young Voice:Dad?

Customer: “Okay, what’s your name?”

Me: “I’m [name].”

Young Voice:Dad? Can you come upstairs, please?

Customer: *to his kid* “Just give me a minute!” *to me* “And how do you spell that?”

Me: *I spell it out*

Young Voice:Dad?

Customer: “And your phone number?”

Young Voice:Dad?

Me: “It’s [area code]—”

Young Voice:Dad?

Me: *says the next three digits*

Young Voice:DAD? DAAAAAD?

Customer: “Sorry, could you repeat that?”

Me: *repeats the next three digits*

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: *says the next four digits*

Young Voice:DAD!

Customer: “Just a minute, please!” *to me* “Could you repeat that again?”

Me: *repeats the next four digits*

Customer: “Okay, so that’s [name] at [phone number]. I’ll make sure she gets that. Thanks.”

Young Voice:DAD, I NEED YOU TO COME UPSTAIRS AND WIPE MY BUTT!

Customer: *click*

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Power Trips Of Ten

| New Port Richey, FL, USA | Right | July 1, 2012

(I work for a company that sends techs out to repair TVs and computers in customers’ homes. We have an automated call that goes out to confirm customers’ contact information and addresses. One day, a customer calls in.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [business]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I got that auto-call and it got my address wrong.”

Me: “Okay, just a second…”

(I pull up the customer’s information.)

Me: “Okay, I see that we have the address listed as 1-3-6 West—”

Caller: “NO! It’s ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SIX! It’s NOT ONE-THREE-SIX!”

Me: *confused*

Caller: “You fix that, okay?”

Me: “Sure…sir. I’ll…update that right now for you.”

Caller: “Thanks…bye!” *click*

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One Mother Of A Requirement

| England, UK | Working | June 29, 2012

(Before I was of majority age, my mother (who is happily married) opened a mobile phone contract in her name for me to use. The bill was paid by my own bank account, but I was unable to change the tariff details due to my mother’s name being on the account.)

Me: “Hello, I was wondering if it would be possible for me to change the name associated with this account?”

Worker: “We are only able to do that in the case of the death of the account holder or a marriage. Are you calling today about such a situation?”

Me: “No, but my account is still in my mother’s name, even though I pay for it and use it.”

Worker: “Then I regret to inform you ma’am, I cannot change the name on the account unless your mother should happen to pass away or remarry.”

Me: “…I don’t think I’ll be getting back to you on that.”

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