I work at a collections agency for a credit card company. It’s 7:58 pm and I call a lady.

Customer: “Could you give me a call back at 9:00 am today?”

Me: “I’m sorry, did you mean 9:00 am tomorrow?”

Customer: “No. I need you to call me at 9:00 am today!”

Me: “Ma’am, I cannot go back in time and call you this morning. It’s 7:58 pm.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t!”

Me: “Okay, what time is it, then?”

Customer: “It’s 7:58 pm. Just call me at 9:00 am today, okay?”

Me: *Pause* “Yeah, okay. Have a great day.”

Related:
Completely Time-Zoned Out

I work in a call center for people having trouble with their car. At the end of each call, I automatically launch into, “Our technician will be with you between now and [estimated time],” to give them an idea how long they may have to wait.

The number of people who interrupt me, only to ask me how long it’s going to take, has prompted me to start answering with, “Well, if you’ll let me finish…”

I am finishing up a transaction with a customer.

Me: “We will also email a copy for your records. The email address we have on file for you is [email address]. Is that still correct?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “You should expect to receive the email once processing is complete, which will be twenty-four to forty-eight hours. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Caller: “Can you email me a copy of this?”

I work at a call centre for a not-too-popular ISP. A woman calls in because her Internet isn’t working. She spoke with someone before and ended up getting a technician scheduled to go fix the problem. However, she wants to see if she can get someone scheduled to come in sooner.

She’s previously gone through six other representatives before getting to me, looking for the same thing. Using a tool we’re provided, I can see that her Internet should be working. I do some basic troubleshooting to figure out what is wrong.

Her third-party router connecting between the modem and computer is causing the problem. I instruct her to connect the modem directly to her computer which brings the Internet back. This results in the greatest compliment I’ve ever heard.

Customer: “You’re worth your weight in gold, so I hope you’re really fat!”

I still smile to this day thinking about that one.

I work at a pensions and investments company in their call centre. I answer a call with the standard company greeting, asking for the customer’s name.

Caller: “Hi, I got a letter for [Customer] but he doesn’t live here no more.”

Me: “Okay, can you let me know your name and address, and did you open the letter?”

Caller: “Why do you need my name? And no, I didn’t open the letter… You’re not supposed to.”

Me: “Okay, great. If you send it back to the address on the back of the envelope, just cross off your address and hand it to your postman.” 

Caller: *Pauses* “Can’t. I shredded the letter.”

Me: “Okay, well… not much I can do, I’m afraid. I only have a name… and no policy details, so there’s nothing I can log on the system. Sorry.” 

Caller: “Oh, okay!” *Hangs up*