Leap Days Of Logic

| Ontario, Canada | Right | July 27, 2012

(The call center is in Canada, but we have many customers from the USA. This call comes in toward the end of the day on July 4th.)

Caller: “So, did you have a good Fourth of July?”

Me: “Well, I’m in Canada, so it’s just a regular day here, but it was not bad. We do have Canada Day, which is July 1st.”

Caller: *confused* “So… then… is today July 3rd for you, or July 5th?”

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Wireless & Clueless

| New Jersey, USA | Working | July 26, 2012

Coworker: “My monitor doesn’t work.”

Me: “What did you do now?”

Coworker: “Nothing, I was just cleaning my desk.”

(I go over to his desk, and find the monitor power cord on the floor, instead of connected to the monitor.)

Me: “Well, your monitor’s power is disconnected.”

Coworker: “Oh, yeah, I disconnected it. I didn’t like all the wires going through the wire hole!”

Bad Customer Service Can’t Be Helped

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Working | July 25, 2012

(I call my insurance company to know the procedure to file a claim. The mailing address with my file is my mother’s address, as she’s the one paying for it. Note: I live 12 hours away from my mother.)

Me: “…And how do I get the forms to fill out?”

Employee: “You’re going to have them by mail in a few days.”

Me: “Can you send them at a different address than the one listed in my file? I don’t currently live there.”

Employee: “I already sent it, so I can’t do anything about it.”

Me: “Couldn’t you send it again to a different address? I really can’t get there to pick the forms. It’s a 12 hour road trip for me.”

Employee: *pissed off* “No! Go download it!”

Me: “I didn’t find it on your website. Can you tell me how to access it exactly?”

Employee: “Search better!”

Me: “Uh… thanks for your help. Can you tell me how much money I’m going to have for the hospitalization and the days without working afterwards?”

Employee: “Five days or less. It’s at three times five, and 10 days or less, so it’s at two times three.”

Me: “…Huh?”

Employee: “Do you need an example to understand better?!”

Me: “Yes, please.”

Employee: *very unpleasant* “Goodbye and have a nice day!” *hangs up*

The Pig Goes Moo

| New Jersey, USA | Working | July 25, 2012

(I work at a call center. I enter the break room to make my lunch. Two of the administrative assistants are present.)

Coworker #1: *to me* “Hey, you. Did you notice the new bacon item in the vending machine?”

Me: “Yeah, it’s pretty good, but for a buck for .3 ounces, you’d make out better cooking your own at home.”

Coworker #2: “Wait, there’s bacon in the vending machine? Doesn’t it need to be cooked?”

Me: “No, it’s precooked. The vending guy just filled it again. There had been six, but now there’s only three left.”

Coworker #2: “But why would you buy it? Doesn’t it need to be cooked? It’s gotta be fake! How big is it?”

Me: “Less than a tablespoon.”

Coworker #2: “Well, I’d never buy it. I can’t eat carbs. Plus, bacon is the scraps of the cow.”

Me: “Bacon is pork, which is pig, and meat is protein.”

Coworker #2: “NO! Bacon is cow carbs!”

Courage Under Fire

| Boise, ID, USA | Right | July 16, 2012

Me: “Thank you for calling. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I want to make a payment on my account, please.”

(Suddenly, the fire alarm starts screaming its little mechanical head off.)

Me: “Sir, I apologize, but our fire alarm is going off and I have to leave the building. You’ll need to call back.”

Caller: “I don’t give a d*** if you burn to death. You’re going to take my payment right now!”

Me: “Not happening, sir. Please call back.” *I hang up the call*

Manager: “Why are you still sitting there? Get out! Do you want to burn to death?”

Me: “Well, the customer wanted me to!” *I grab my purse and run out*

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