As Clear As Muddy

, | Pennsylvania, USA | Language & Words, Technology

(I’ve just started on the floor for customer service for a cable company. A customer calls in saying his TV is “muddy”.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, I’m not understanding what is wrong with your TV. Is it pixelated, blue, or fuzzy?”

Customer: “No, it’s muddy.”

(After a few minutes of trying to figure out exactly what he meant by muddy.)

Me: “Sir…do you have mud on your TV?”

Customer: “D*** it! I said it’s muddy. M-U-T-E…MUDDY!”

Me: “Sir, do you see a muddy button on your remote?

Customer: “Yes. ”

Me: “Press the button.”

Customer: “That fixed it. Thank you so much!”

Rolling High Doesn’t Sound Quite Right

, | Ontario, Canada | Geography

(I work in an airline call center where we make reservations and make changes to existing reservations such as seat/meal requests.)

Customer: “I’d like a window seat for my return trip”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Let me check availability for you.”

(I book the seat for her.)

Me: “Okay, I was able to book you in 31K, which is a window seat on your return flight from Frankfurt to Seattle.”

Customer: “What?! I’m on a PLANE? I thought I was taking a bus?!”

Me: “Yes, I assure you it is a plane, as it is difficult to cross the Atlantic on a bus.”

Customer: “Thanks so much. I am so excited about going on a plane!”

Just Calling It As I See It

| Columbus, OH, USA | Uncategorized

(I am a telephone operator for a very large international company. Callers need to know the first and last name of the person they need to be transferred to.)

Caller: “Hi, can I be transferred to Steve?”

Me: “Sure, what’s Steve’s last name?”

Caller: “Oh, I don’t know his last name. I just know his name is Steve.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this is the global directory and I would have no way of looking him up without his last name.”

Caller: “Oh, I see. Well, I’ll just call him and get his last name, then.”

Me: “Wait…if you have his direct number, why were you calling me in the first place?”

Caller: *hangs up*