Wireless & Clueless

| New Jersey, USA | Working | July 26, 2012

Coworker: “My monitor doesn’t work.”

Me: “What did you do now?”

Coworker: “Nothing, I was just cleaning my desk.”

(I go over to his desk, and find the monitor power cord on the floor, instead of connected to the monitor.)

Me: “Well, your monitor’s power is disconnected.”

Coworker: “Oh, yeah, I disconnected it. I didn’t like all the wires going through the wire hole!”

Bad Customer Service Can’t Be Helped

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Working | July 25, 2012

(I call my insurance company to know the procedure to file a claim. The mailing address with my file is my mother’s address, as she’s the one paying for it. Note: I live 12 hours away from my mother.)

Me: “…And how do I get the forms to fill out?”

Employee: “You’re going to have them by mail in a few days.”

Me: “Can you send them at a different address than the one listed in my file? I don’t currently live there.”

Employee: “I already sent it, so I can’t do anything about it.”

Me: “Couldn’t you send it again to a different address? I really can’t get there to pick the forms. It’s a 12 hour road trip for me.”

Employee: *pissed off* “No! Go download it!”

Me: “I didn’t find it on your website. Can you tell me how to access it exactly?”

Employee: “Search better!”

Me: “Uh… thanks for your help. Can you tell me how much money I’m going to have for the hospitalization and the days without working afterwards?”

Employee: “Five days or less. It’s at three times five, and 10 days or less, so it’s at two times three.”

Me: “…Huh?”

Employee: “Do you need an example to understand better?!”

Me: “Yes, please.”

Employee: *very unpleasant* “Goodbye and have a nice day!” *hangs up*

The Pig Goes Moo

| New Jersey, USA | Working | July 25, 2012

(I work at a call center. I enter the break room to make my lunch. Two of the administrative assistants are present.)

Coworker #1: *to me* “Hey, you. Did you notice the new bacon item in the vending machine?”

Me: “Yeah, it’s pretty good, but for a buck for .3 ounces, you’d make out better cooking your own at home.”

Coworker #2: “Wait, there’s bacon in the vending machine? Doesn’t it need to be cooked?”

Me: “No, it’s precooked. The vending guy just filled it again. There had been six, but now there’s only three left.”

Coworker #2: “But why would you buy it? Doesn’t it need to be cooked? It’s gotta be fake! How big is it?”

Me: “Less than a tablespoon.”

Coworker #2: “Well, I’d never buy it. I can’t eat carbs. Plus, bacon is the scraps of the cow.”

Me: “Bacon is pork, which is pig, and meat is protein.”

Coworker #2: “NO! Bacon is cow carbs!”

Courage Under Fire

| Boise, ID, USA | Right | July 16, 2012

Me: “Thank you for calling. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I want to make a payment on my account, please.”

(Suddenly, the fire alarm starts screaming its little mechanical head off.)

Me: “Sir, I apologize, but our fire alarm is going off and I have to leave the building. You’ll need to call back.”

Caller: “I don’t give a d*** if you burn to death. You’re going to take my payment right now!”

Me: “Not happening, sir. Please call back.” *I hang up the call*

Manager: “Why are you still sitting there? Get out! Do you want to burn to death?”

Me: “Well, the customer wanted me to!” *I grab my purse and run out*

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We Few, We Unhappy Few

| Houston, TX, USA | Right | July 12, 2012

(After receiving excellent customer service from a representative, I ask to be transferred to a supervisor.)

Supervisor: “Hello, I’m [name]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hello! I was just working with [name of rep], and I wanted to tell someone what a great job she did. She was patient, friendly, efficient and knowledgeable, and she really helped me out.”

Supervisor: “I’m very glad to hear that! Thanks so much for bringing this to my attention! I sincerely apologize!”

Me: “Um…you apologize?”

Supervisor: “Oops. I meant to say ‘appreciate’. I guess I’m just used to taking calls and immediately having to apologize.”

Me: *laughing* “No worries whatsoever. I work in customer service, too.”

Supervisor: “OH. Then you know.”

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