Me: “Would you please tell me the confirmation code?”
Caller: “Sure. B as in ‘bass,’ C as in ‘crab,’ T as in ‘tuna,’ F as in… I don’t know, S as in ‘shrimp’…”
He used seafood words for all his phonetic spelling, but he couldn’t think of a good F.
Caller: “I got this past due statement from your company that lists the invoices that we haven’t paid. We’re currently on a credit hold with y’all.”
Me: “Did you have a question about any of the invoices?”
Caller: “Well… If we pay these invoices, do we get off the credit hold? Is that how this works?”
Me: *Internally* “How else do you possibly picture this working?”
I work on the phone as a breakdown operator for a major car manufacturer. I have my fair share of entitled jerks and just plain stupid people, but my least favourite callers are this sort, with whom I speak at LEAST once a shift, often more.
Me: “Good morning, [Company Breakdown Services]. This is [My Name] speaking; how may I help?”
Caller: “Hello, I have [problem] with my car.”
Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that, sir. Let me take some details from you and we’ll get some assistance out to you as soon as we can. Can I start with your car’s registration number [license plate], please?”
Caller: “D***, I knew you were going to ask me that… Let me just find it… Hold on… It’s just outside… I should have had it ready, huh?” *Laughs* “Okay, here it is…”
I still wonder why you would call a breakdown operator without having your car’s details ready.
I get a call from a customer saying she can’t use her debit card. We offer overdraft privilege, a set amount of money that someone can overdraft and we still pay it, and while she is overdrawn by a few dollars, she indeed does have enough overdraft privilege to cover her purchase. After looking further, I see it’s only partial, meaning we don’t authorize debit card transactions, only automatic bill pays and checks.
Me: “After looking further into your account, I see that you only have partial privileges and can not use a debit card while overdrafted.”
Customer: “I’m supposed to have full privilege.”
Me: “Not a problem. I’d be happy to update it to full so you—”
The customer cuts me off, screaming, and I don’t get a single word of it besides “f***” a few times and rapid honking of a car horn.
Me: “Ma’am, in order to complete your request, I will have to ask you to stop using profanity.”
Customer: “YOU, F****** [RACIAL SLUR]!”
Me: “Oooookay, hanging up now.” *Click*
I checked the notes on her account and saw at least twenty calls from that SAME DAY that all said some variation of, “Employee hung up due to customer using racial slurs.” Wow.
I work in a call center sending taxis to customers. This conversation happens several times every Friday and Saturday, no exceptions.
Me: “[Taxi Company]. May I have your phone number, please?”
Caller: “Umm, hang on…” *To other partygoers* “Does anybody know what my phone number is? Okay, it’s [number].”
Me: “Okay…” *Types in the number* “Are you at [address]?”
Caller: “No, umm… Does anybody know the address here?” *Pauses* “Okay, it’s [Address].”
Me: “Is that a house or an apartment?”
Caller: “Umm… is this a house or apartment?”
Yes, they seriously ask this.
Caller: “It’s an apartment.”
Me: “Okay, can I get the apartment number?”
Caller: “Umm… does anybody know the apartment number here? Okay, it’s [number].”
Me: “Thank you, and who’s the cab for?”
Caller: “Umm… hey, who’s taking the taxi?”
Seriously, why would you phone for a taxi when you knew literally none of the information? Amazingly, they usually got picked up anyway.
