Debt Collection Is All That It Is Cracked Up To Be

| Texas, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, may I please speak to Jane Doe?”

Customer: “Which one? One’s my wife and one’s my sister.”

Me: “Jane L. Doe.”

Customer: “That’s my sister. She’s a crackhead. We don’t associate with her anymore. She still owes me hundreds of dollars.”

Me: “Well, do you know anyone who could get in touch with her? Maybe your parents?”

Customer: “My parents don’t talk to her anymore either. And even if they did, I don’t want to hassle them over my good-for-nothing crackhead of a sister. Why do you want to talk to her?”

Me: “I need to speak with her regarding the property on [address].”

Customer: “That’s my house. What Jane Doe did you say you were looking for?”

Me: “Jane L Doe.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s my wife. She’s not a crackhead. She’s at church.”

IQ Falls In The West

| Hays, KS, USA | Language & Words, Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “Alright sir, in order to get this taken care of we will need to know the manufacturer of brand name of the product.”

Customer: “I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand.”

Me: “The company that makes the product.”

Customer: “I still don’t understand.”

Me: “It will state who makes it on the product.”

Customer: “Oh, I know! It was China!”

Unlisted But Booked

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Criminal & Illegal, Uncategorized

Me: “Thanks for calling, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Could you make my phone number unlisted?”

Me: “Well, sir, I’ve got good news. Cellphone numbers aren’t listed in the phone book.”

Caller: “No, I mean make it so that if someone calls you guys and gives you my number, you won’t give them any information.”

Me: “Oh, well in that case you should know that we value our customers’ privacy. We would never give out any of your personal information to anyone who calls us.”

Caller: “Even if it’s the cops?”

Yukon Freeze It

| Kelowna, BC, Canada | Canada, Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cell Phone Company] customer service. How can I help you?”

Caller: “You sound different. Where are you from?”

Me: “Canada. Is there something I can help you with?”

Caller: “Canada? How big is the igloo you work in?”

Me: “Sir, we don’t live in igloos. In fact, it’s about 40˚ here at the moment.”

Caller: “40˚ is freezing!”

Me: “40˚ Celsius. That’s 104˚ Fahrenheit.”

Caller: “Oh my god, how do you keep your igloos from melting?!”

Related:
Yukon Not Spend It
Yukon Not Believe This Juan
Yukon Spend It
Yukon See It On A Map, Part 2
Yukon See It On A Map

When (Not) In Rome

| Boston, MA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Me: “Thanks for calling [executive car company]. How can I help you?”

Caller:“I need to make a reservation.”

Me: “Sure where is the pick up?”

Caller: “A hotel called the George V?” *she pronounces it like the letter ‘V’* “It’s in Paris, France.”

Me: “Okay.”

Caller: “Oh, wait. It’s called the hotel five!”

Me: “That makes sense, since the V must be a roman numeral.”

Caller: “Yeah, V must mean 5 in French. It was confusing to me and you because we are English.”

Me: “Haha, yeah. That must be it…”

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