It’s Spelled I-d-i-o-t

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Uncategorized

(A customer has asked me to spell the name of the city, Indianapolis.)

Me: “I-n-d..”

Customer: “I-m-b…”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, that was I-n-d…”

Customer: “I-n-b…”

Me: “That’s d, like dog.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay.”

Me: “Okay… you got that?”

Customer: “I got it.”

Me: “…i-a-n…”

Customer: “…i-a-m…”

Me: “That was an n, like Nancy.”

Customer: “I have I-m-b-i-n-d-o-k-i-a-m-n.”

Me: “Let’s start at the beginning.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay.”

Me: “I-n-d…”

Customer: “I-n-d?”

Me: “Yes. …i-a-n…”

Customer: “All right, now I have I-n-d-i-a-m-i-m-b-i-n-d-o-k-i-a-m-n – is that how you spell Minneapolis?”

Me: “No. It is not.”

Customer: “Must be all them funny Indian letters. Okay, I’ll send this to you. Goodbye.”

Get A Life

| Alabama, Canada | Technology, Uncategorized

Caller: “My friend told me that there is something better than the TV service I have right now.”

(I have been looking at his account for over 20 minutes. He has full HD TV service.)

Me: “Well, you have full HD TV. The only thing better would be to upgrade to a Personal Video Recorder.”

Caller: “No, I don’t want one of those. I want better picture on my TV!”

Me: “You have better picture on your TV. You have HD TV.”

Caller: “No! You don’t understand. My friend told me that there is something better than what I have. I want that! What is it?”

(Note: this was before 3D TV was available.)

Me: “Well, there is talk of things like 3D TV, but the technology is a ways away. It’s not something available now. You currently have the best thing available on the market today.”

Caller: “No! There is something better! What is better than HD TV?”

Me: “The only thing better than HD TV is real life.”

Caller: “Real life? Well, how do I get that?”

No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 4

| Ohio, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

(After unlocking the caller’s account and beginning to explain when it can be used.)

Me: “Okay, sir. The account will be unlocked in a half hour.”

Caller: “Okay, I’m in Florida, where y’all located?”

Me: “Sir, we are in Ohio.”

Caller: “Okay. So is that 30 minutes Central or 30 minutes Eastern?”

Related:
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 3
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 2
No Fortitude For Longitude
No Aptitude For Latitude

Inching Away From Intelligence

| Ireland | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to return my 13″ laptop please.”

Me: “Alright. Any particular reason you want to return it?”

Customer: “I thought the screen would be bigger, so I want to buy a larger one instead.”

Me: “So you thought your 13″ laptop was going to have a bigger screen?”

Customer: “Yeah. When I was buying it online it said ‘widescreen’.”

Not-So-Fast Forward

| United Kingdom | Uncategorized

(I sell cable TV packages, and talk the caller through set-up. Our service offers a service where you can record programs and pause and rewind TV.)

Caller: “And can it fast-forward live TV?”

Me: “Um, no, it can’t.”

Caller: “I would have thought it could, since it can pause and rewind live TV.”

Me: “Fast-forwarding live TV is a bit different.”

Caller: “Forget I said that.”

Page 131/178First...129130131132133...Last
« Previous
RANDOM
Next »