Daddy’s Little Hacker

| Oregon, USA | Family & Kids, Spouses & Partners, Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [business]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “My girlfriend didn’t get her gift, and I want to know why.”

Me: *looking into order* “Sir, I see that we received an email from you asking that we cancel the order, so we did.”

Caller: “That’s impossible! Why would I do that? What email address was the email from?”

(I verify his email address.)

Caller: “Well, that’s the right address, but I didn’t send the email, you must have done it!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but are you saying that I somehow hacked into your email account?”

Caller: “Well, someone there hacked into my account!”

Me: “Does anyone else know your password by any chance?”

Caller: “No, I never give it out to anyone, that would be stupid.”

Me: “At this point, I’m not sure how else to look into this. If you’re sure no one else has your password, let me get someone in our loss prevention department involved. They may know more. I’ll call you back when I have more information.”

(I explain this all to someone in loss prevention and she calls him back. Later, she tells me what she found out.)

Loss Prevention: “Turns out his daughter canceled the order because she doesn’t like dad’s new girlfriend.”

Benefits Are All About Sustaining Labor

| UK | Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, benefit section new claims.”

Caller: “My wife wants to claim for a baby.”

Me: “Your wife just had a child? How old is the child?”

Caller: “2 years old.”

Me: “I’m sorry, if the child is that old you cannot receive additional benefits.”

Caller: “But we need money.”

Me: “I understand but it’s too late now, she could have claimed 11 weeks before the child was born or up until it was a year old. There is nothing we can do now.”

Caller: “So how does my wife get money for a baby?”

Me: “Well, she needs to be pregnant.”

Caller: “Okay! I will call you back.”

You’d Bella Believe It

| Wilmington, NC, USA | Movies & TV, Technology, Top

Me: “Thank you for calling. May I have your first and last name please?”

Caller: “Yes this is [name] from [wireless store] and I need help with switching a customer’s phone.”

Me: “I can certainly assist you with changing the phone. May I have the serial number for the new phone?”

Caller: “Yes, it’s A as in Alpha, E as in Edward, and C…as in Cullen.” *awkward pause* “Don’t judge me!”

Setting The Wrong Tone

| Chattanooga, TN, USA | Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “Thanks for calling [copier company], can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I’d like to order some toner for my copier.”

Me: “Okay, is this for a black and white machine or a color machine?”

Caller: “Well, the machine is kind of cream-colored…”

SIN Number

| Glasgow, UK | Religion, Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “Good evening, you’re through to [name]. How can I help?”

Caller: “There’s something wrong with the PIN for my set top box.”

Me: “Oh, have you forgotten it?”

Caller: “No, I know it, I just don’t like it.”

Me: “So, you want to change it? You can do that from the box itself.”

Caller: “Oh no! I can’t, I won’t! It is an evil number! It is your sworn duty to change it for me!”

Me: “Okay. I can do that for you, no problem. So your current PIN is ‘0666’?”

Caller: “Yes! Why did you let the Devil change it? I haven’t been able to play back my recordings because typing that will taint my enjoyment of them!”

Me: “We didn’t, it’s based on the last 4 digits of your viewing card, it’s a random number.”

Caller: “You should really put something in place to stop evil forces from controlling your random numbers like that. It’s insensitive and careless!”

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