I work for the customer service department of a big Dutch webshop. I have an irate customer who keeps on screaming their new Xbox 360 hasn’t arrived. Track and Trace says it was delivered, but the customer insists it was not.

When something that big goes missing, we need to inform the Losses Department, who will contact the carrier and will investigate the issue. I inform the client that I will be doing that and they’ll hear about it in the coming five days.

Most of the time, packages just show up and it was a faulty registration. Anyway, it’s the end of my workday, so I sign off and go home. On my way out, I pass a colleague who has an irate customer. When he confirms the address, I realize he’s talking to my customer.

Since I know this will be his last call, as well, I decide to wait for him so we can complain about customers together. He finishes the call and waits for the client to hang up; we are only allowed to hang up if people forget to do so. He uses this time to add to the case.

Suddenly, my coworker grabs his headphones. His eyes widen. His mouth falls open. Then, I see the line disconnecting. 

Me: “Are you okay?”

Coworker: “They… Oh, my gosh…”

Me: “What?”

Coworker: “They thought they had hung up already! Oh, my gosh… You’ll never guess what I heard!”

Me: *Curious* “What?”

Coworker: “’There! Now we’ll have a free Xbox for sure!’”

Guess which RECORDED call was passed through to the Fraud Department? And guess which delivery address was banned forever, alongside the customer’s account?

This story is part of our Best Of March 2021 roundup!

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I work for a call center for a satellite TV company that is well known for lackluster customer service. A customer calls with an issue that can only be solved by an onsite technician. The soonest appointment is three weeks out. It should be noted that I am gay and do have a slight stereotypical inflection to my voice.

Me: “The soonest appointment is on [date].”

Customer: “Can’t you get me anything sooner? It’s an emergency!”

All our customers think their issues are an emergency.

Me: “I’m really sorry, but that is the earliest available appointment.”

Customer: “Useless [gay slur]!”

Me: “You say, ‘[gay slur],’ like it’s a bad thing.”

Customer: “F*** you!” *Hangs up*

My supervisor, who had been monitoring the call, laughed so hard!

I did get a note in my file, basically telling me that I’m not supposed to use that slur — or any others — just to avoid any issues if a higher supervisor monitors that same call. However, my immediate supervisor found the whole thing hilarious.

I work for an inbound telecommunication company. Our role is to answer calls for companies that cannot do so themselves and pass the details of the caller for a call back. Calls come in automatically when you hear the beep. This night is a particularly slow night so there are no queues.

Me: “Hello, this is [Business]. They’re not available at the moment, so can I have your name and number for a return call, please?”

Customer: “You could wait, you know!” 

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “It only rang three times before you answered! I wasn’t ready yet!” *Hangs up*

I’ve heard of people complaining about being on hold for ages but never about someone answering the phone “too quickly.” Besides, why are you calling if you’re not ready to be answered?

I work in a military-affiliated credit union call center as a level-two service rep. I have an accent, but I’m an American, born and raised, originally from the Midwest.

Me: “Thank you for calling credit union, my name is [My Name]. May I have your first and last name please?”

Caller: “Where are you?

I already know where this is going.

Me: “[Location], ma’am.”

Caller: “What’s the capital of Texas?”

Me: “Austin.”

Caller: “What are your [phone cuts out for a second] lobby hours?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. What location were you asking for the lobby hours of?”

I’m not a branch rep, so I want to clarify which branch she is asking for. Of course, she makes the assumption I don’t understand English well.

Caller: “What’s the capital of Virginia?”

Me: “…ma’am, I have no idea. I was born and raised in [Midwestern city]. Capital is St. Louis.”

I screwed up on the capital because 1. I was pissed, and 2. I forget Jeff City is even a thing most of the time.

Caller: “I don’t have much confidence in you, [My Name]. Can I speak to someone else?”

Me: Eye twitching. “…sure, ma’am. Hold on the line for a moment while I grab a coworker.”

She disconnected while on hold. I made sure to remark about her attitude and behavior in a professional manner, then take a few minutes of personal time.

That pissed me off. My accent is a result of legit brain damage. I have wonderful coworkers that are actually from foreign countries, all Americans, and somewhere in one of our US service centers. Even if we had outsourced service centers, who gives a d***?

I work for the paging and messaging department of a telecommunications company. We are responsible for taking calls on behalf of businesses that can’t answer the call themselves. I am currently working for a hearing aid company.

Me: “[Business] is not available at the moment. Can I leave a message?”

Customer: *Yelling* “I NEED NEW BATTERIES!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but [Company] isn’t available at the moment. If I can have your name and number, I’ll pass on your details for a return call.” 

Customer: “I CAN’T HEAR YOU! I NEED BATTERIES!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but they’re not available at the moment.”

Customer: “I CAN’T HEAR YOU! I NEED NEW BATTERIES!”

Me: “I can’t help you, I’m sorry. You’ll need to call back at a later time.”

Customer: “I CAN’T HEAR YOU! SEND ME BATTERIES NOW!”

I ended up having to terminate the call as I was going in circles. But why call if you can’t hear anyway?