Undeserved Credit

| Ohio, USA | Funny Names, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you today?”

Caller: *yelling* “I want to make sure that idiot woman I spoke with a little while ago credited my card back because I think she was stupid and didn’t know what she was doing!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll be happy to check on that credit for you today. After looking at the account, it looks like it was credited back to the credit card as stated it would be.”

Caller: “Are you sure that idiot did it? She sounded like a liar to me!”

(After looking closer at the account, I see it was me who spoke to her last.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I did take care of that credit just like I said I would when you called me a little while ago.”

Caller: *silence* “Uh… I knew you would. You’re such a sweet girl!”

When A Firewall Just Doesn’t Cut The Mustard

| Norway | Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “Can you check the cable from the wall to your router?”

Customer: “What cable?”

Me: “The DSL cable. The one that goes from the phone-outlet in the wall, to the router.”

Customer: “That ‘wall’ you are talking about…is that something you installed for me?”

At Least It’s Hands-Free Now

| Oslo, Norway | Extra Stupid, Technology, Uncategorized

Caller: “My phone isn’t working.”

Me: “No problem. I can help you with that.”

Caller: “Good. I hate these things.”

Me: “Sir, can you locate the power button on the top of your mobile, hold it in for 10 seconds, and then release?”

(The customer is quiet, and then I hear a crash.)

Me: “What happened?”

Caller: “I did what you told me to do. Hold the button for 10 seconds and then release the phone.”

Me: “No, I meant release the button, not the whole phone.”

Caller: “Well, if it wasn’t broken earlier, it sure is now!”

A Pressing Issue

| USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Uncategorized

(The customer has a standard flip phone that she wants to program.)

Me: “Ok, let’s try the automated system first, and if that doesn’t work, we will do it manually. Please dial *228, press send, and when the automated voice comes on, press 1.”

(In the background, I can hear the customer dialing, and the voice coming on. No response from the customer.)

Me: “Just press the button on your keypad that has the number ‘1’ on it, then some music will start.”

Customer: “Ok, now, how do I press ‘1’?”

Me: “Just press the button marked ‘1’”.”

Customer: “No! I know there’s a button marked ‘1’. What I’m asking is how do I press it?”

Acting Flippantly

| Halifax, NS, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “Thanks you for calling [wireless phone company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “You guys sent me a phone but it has no buttons, this is unbelievable! What kind of monkeys do you have working there that you don’t notice your phones have no buttons?”

(I pull up the information and immediately see the problem.)

Me: “You said the phone has no buttons correct?”

Customer: “Well, it has a couple but not the buttons with numbers!”

Me: “Okay, sir, Do you see that large crack down the middle of the phone?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, sir. Pull on either side it will flip open.”

Customer: “Oh, there they are. It does have buttons. How’d you do that?”

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