Big Brother Is Not Watching You

| ON, Canada | Right | November 20, 2012

(I work in a call centre that handles calls exclusively from American customers. Since we’re located right on the Ontario-Michigan border, we often tell customers that we’re located in Northern Michigan to avoid having to explain how the company manages to serve Americans properly.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [insurance company], roadside assistance. How can I help you?”

Customer: “You have a weird accent. Where are you from?”

Me: “I’m from Northern Michigan, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh! That’s where I am! You must be able to see me, then!”

(I assume she means on our program’s mapping system.)

Me: “I don’t have your location listed here, ma’am. If you’ll answer a few questions, I can get that information from you in a moment. Is your—”

Customer: “You mean you can’t see me?”

Me: “Not yet, ma’am. First I have to get some more information from you and then I can bring up a map of your location.”

Customer: “No, on the cameras! Can’t you see me on the cameras?”

Me: *confused* “What cameras, ma’am?”

Customer: “They’re right there! I’m waving at it! It’s just on top of the traffic light!”

(I realize she’s talking about the traffic camera that takes photos of vehicles that run red lights. I spend the next 10 minutes trying to explain that. Eventually, she accepts I can’t see her.)

Customer: *resigned* “Well, I guess if you can’t see me, I’ll just call my husband. He can change my tire…”

(She hung up before I could explain that we could set up service. About 20 minutes later, I heard my coworker explaining to a customer that traffic cameras are not a country-wide surveillance system. It was the same woman. She hung up on him, too!)

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Some Jobs Can Leave You Feeling In-sick-nificant

| UK | Working | November 19, 2012

(I have just started working at a call centre. However, by lunch time I am feeling extremely poorly.)

Me: “Hi, [supervisor], I am feeling extremely ill. I am freezing cold and feeling shakey and faint. I think I may need to go home.”

Supervisor: “Okay. Well, see if you can last till the end of the day…”

(Two hours later…)

Me: “Hi, [supervisor], I really need to leave. I can barely keep me eyes open and cannot stop shaking. I feel like I am going to be sick, and I nearly collapsed on the stairs just now. I have to go get medical attention. There is something very wrong with me!”

Supervisor: “Okay. Well, I will speak to [boss] and see what he says…”

(A few minutes pass.)

Supervisor: “Okay, he says that you can go, but if you do, then you are not coming back.”

Me: “…But I need medical attention. You are saying that if I go to see a doctor I am fired?”

Supervisor: “Sorry. It’s the best we can offer.”

(I decide to hold out for the rest of the day. However, when my partner picks me up at the end of the day, I pass out in the car. He gets me home where I can barely manage to get into bed. I am out of it for the next 12 hours; by the next morning, I notice my leg is swollen; I’d developed cellulitis, which is a serious skin infection. So, I phone work.)

Me: “Hi, [supervisor], I’ve got a severe infection called cellulitis. I cannot walk at all, and I have to see the doctor. I am really sorry about this. I know this means I will be fired, but I have no option but to stay off today.”

Supervisor: “Hey, don’t worry. I will smooth this out. You will be able to join another group, I’m sure. Just get yourself well!”

(However, a few hours later I receive this call.)

Boss: “Yeah, don’t bother coming in again.”

Me: “But—”

Boss: “Just thought you should know.” *hangs up*

(And that is how I got fired after only working in a place for eight hours!)

Weeding Through The Voters

| USA | Right | November 18, 2012

(I am phone-banking Colorado voters, encouraging them to support the Amendment 64 initiative to legalize marijuana in the state.)

Me: “Hello. I’m calling with the Campaign to Regulate Marijuana like Alcohol. In November, you will have the chance to vote—”

Voter: “Why should we only regulate marijuana like alcohol during November? I think we should do it the whole year!”

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It’s Bye-Bye For Furby

| Ohio, USA | Working | November 13, 2012

(It’s right after Christmas during the huge Furby craze, and one of my coworkers has received one as a gift. He has the toy on his desk and various people have stopped by to play with it. As a joke, he places his headset on the Furby, but at that moment, a call comes through.)

Caller: *goes into a rant*

Furby: “Ahhh. Boring.”

(Unfortunately for my coworker, they were monitoring his call. Both he and the Furby were fired immediately!)

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When Your Day Hits A High Note

| Canada | Right | November 12, 2012

(I have just calmly resolved the issue with an order.)

Caller: “Can I sing for you?”

Me: *not knowing what to expect* “Sure, why not?”

(Surprisingly, the caller proceeded to sing the most beautiful rendition of ‘Smile’ by Nat King Cole. It was so beautiful, I even asked a coworker to come over and listen with me. When the customer was done crooning, I had goosebumps. This definitely made my week and made me SMILE!)

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