Butting In

| Ridgewood, NJ, USA | Family & Kids

(My job involves calling people to set up demos. During one such phone call, the following occurs.)

Me: “Hello, is [name] there?”

Customer: “No, she’s not at home right now. This is her husband.”

Me: “Okay, is there a better time for me to reach her?”

(Suddenly, I hear someone pick up the phone. It’s a child’s voice, and very audible.)

Young Voice:Hello?

Customer: *ignores her* “Well, what are you calling in reference to?”

Young Voice:Dad?

Me: “I’m friends with [friend], and she said your wife might be nice enough to help me out with something.”

Young Voice:Dad?

Customer: *to his kid* “One second, sweetie.” *to me* “You know, why don’t I take a message?”

Young Voice:Dad?

Me: “Yeah, that works, too.”

Young Voice:Dad?

Customer: “Okay, what’s your name?”

Me: “I’m [name].”

Young Voice:Dad? Can you come upstairs, please?

Customer: *to his kid* “Just give me a minute!” *to me* “And how do you spell that?”

Me: *I spell it out*

Young Voice:Dad?

Customer: “And your phone number?”

Young Voice:Dad?

Me: “It’s [area code]—”

Young Voice:Dad?

Me: *says the next three digits*

Young Voice:DAD? DAAAAAD?

Customer: “Sorry, could you repeat that?”

Me: *repeats the next three digits*

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: *says the next four digits*

Young Voice:DAD!

Customer: “Just a minute, please!” *to me* “Could you repeat that again?”

Me: *repeats the next four digits*

Customer: “Okay, so that’s [name] at [phone number]. I’ll make sure she gets that. Thanks.”

Young Voice:DAD, I NEED YOU TO COME UPSTAIRS AND WIPE MY BUTT!

Customer: *click*

Power Trips Of Ten

| New Port Richey, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Language & Words

(I work for a company that sends techs out to repair TVs and computers in customers’ homes. We have an automated call that goes out to confirm customers’ contact information and addresses. One day, a customer calls in.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [business]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I got that auto-call and it got my address wrong.”

Me: “Okay, just a second…”

(I pull up the customer’s information.)

Me: “Okay, I see that we have the address listed as 1-3-6 West—”

Caller: “NO! It’s ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SIX! It’s NOT ONE-THREE-SIX!”

Me: *confused*

Caller: “You fix that, okay?”

Me: “Sure…sir. I’ll…update that right now for you.”

Caller: “Thanks…bye!” *click*

Please Don’t Cowell Back

| Mansfield, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Top

(I’m working for a call center on a forced third shift night. It is on my third day of no sleep.)

Me: *still upbeat and cheery* “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. I’m sorry; our systems are updating, but I’d be more then happy to answer any general questions or concerns that you may have.”

Caller: *vindictively* “So, I got Mr. Ryan Seacrest on the phone now?!”

Me: “My apologies, sir, but my name is—”

Caller: “So, I have to talk to some little pansy **** **** who sounds like Moviefone to give me what I want?!”

Me: “Sir, if you—”

Caller: “So, I have to play with this Moviefone Directory to get what I want?!”

(The caller starts to randomly press buttons on the phone while continuing to cuss up a storm.)

Caller: “Are you still there Ryan Seacrest?! Did you hang up on me?!”

Me: “No, I did not, sir. I was just waiting for you to finish before I—”

Caller: “Oh,  so Mr. Seacrest has the nerves to talk to me?!”

Me: “Sir, if you want access to an account, I must apologize but with the update running here in the facility we are not able to pull up any account info. If—”

Caller: “I don’t need anything from Ryan Seacrest or Moviefone!”

Me: “Sir, this is [Company], not Moviefone.”

Caller: “So, Mr. Seacrest thinks he’s so smart!”

Me: “Sir, do you have an account with [Company]?”

Caller: “Who?”

Me: “Due to policy, I have been instructed that I am allowed to end this call. Thank you and have a nice day.”

Caller: “I’m not done degrading you!”

Me: *click*