Some Callers Are Proper Dementor

| Racine, WI, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Top

(I have a caller named Victor Krumm in the computer system. I’m a Harry Potter fan.)

Me: “Okay, sir, so you’re Victor Krumm?”

Caller: “Yep, that’s me.”

Me: “Sorry, this might sound funny, but did you know that there’s a book series called Harry Potter with a character with that name?”

(There’s a pause, as if he’s thinking, and suddenly he yells.)

Caller: “THE MUGGLES KNOW!”

(He hangs up. His wife calls a little while later to actually schedule.)

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Pride Goeth Before A Deal

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Canada, Money, Top, Uncategorized

(I work at a call center in Canada dealing with American cell customers. This is a call from a customer in Seattle.)

Me: “Hello, thanks for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Does your company outsource to India?”

Me: “I don’t know for sure, but I know it does hire companies out of the USA.”

Caller: “I’d like to cancel my service, then.”

Me: “I can do that for you. May I ask why you’d like to cancel?”

Caller: “I don’t support companies that don’t support America. If they’re hiring out of America, then I don’t want to support them.”

Me: “All right, I’ll process that cancellation for you.”

Caller: “Am I calling to India?!”

Me: “No. I’m actually in Canada.”

Caller: “Oh, I love Canada! I do all my shopping there. Everything is so much cheaper!”

H2Slow, Part 3

| Minnesota, USA | Money, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Caller: "I was just wondering if my credit card will work the same in Hawaii as it does here?"

Me: "Well, ma’am, Hawaii is part of the US, so it should."

Caller: "I know. I was just making sure since we’d be flying over a body of water."

Related:
H2Slow, Part 2
H2Slow

No Vocation For Location, Part 2

| Huntsville, AL, USA | Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Customer: “Yes I am wondering why I got hit with roaming charges in the Bahamas?”

Me: “Well, because your plan offers you coverage in the United States and outside of it there are roaming charges.”

Customer: “Well I never got these charges in Puerto Rico!”

Me: “That’s because Puerto Rico is part of the US.”

Customer: “But it takes me longer to get there!”

Related:
No Aptitude For Latitude, Part 2
No Vocation For Location
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 4
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 3
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 2
No Fortitude For Longitude
No Aptitude For Latitude

Pretext To Argue

| Dundee, UK | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

(I work in for a directory enquiries company, and if a customer is calling from a cellular phone, I can text them the number requested free of charge.)

Me: “[Directory Enquiries], what number please?”

Customer: “I called a few minutes ago and your useless colleague said he’d text me a number and he didn’t. I’d like a
refund!”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry about that, ma’am, could you tell me the number you were looking for so I can find it first of all?”

(The customer tells me the business.)

Me: “Actually, ma’am, it was myself that you spoke to a few minutes ago, and I did text you the number.”

Customer: “Well I didn’t get it. There must be a problem with your system! Give me a refund!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t offer refunds on the text service as it’s free of charge. I have just sent it again, so you should receive two texts now.”

Customer: “Well give me a refund for the call then! This is unacceptable! Your system is screwed!”

Me: “We have received no other complaints regarding the text service today, so I would suggest that you make a call to your service provider as it sounds like there’s traffic congestion on your network.”

Customer: “Traffic congestion? But I’m not even driving!”

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