Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 6

| San Jose, CA, USA | Technology, Uncategorized

Caller: “I called to let you know the power is out so you may see alerts.”

Me: “Thank you. I will notify the team. Is there anything else I can assist you with?”

Caller: “Yes. I can’t connect to the internet on my laptop. I can’t find the wireless.”

Me: “Sir, the power is out, so the internet is also down.”

Customer: “Yes, but my laptop still has batteries.”

Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 5
Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 4
Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 3
Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 2
Wireless Clueless & Hopeless

Getting Landlines Tangled

| Ireland | Liars & Scammers, Uncategorized

(I call the customer.)

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, this is [me], may I please speak to [customer]?”

Customer: “Yes, speaking.”

Me: “I am calling from [company name]. There is a slight issue with your account. Do you have a moment to discuss this issue now?”

*long pause*

Customer: “Hello? Hello?! Sorry, I have terrible reception here.”

Me: “Sir, I am speaking to you on your home phone.”

Customer: “What?!” *hangs up*

No Holding Back

| Webster, NY, USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem, Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [company] support, can I have your employee ID number, please?”

Caller: “Yeah, can you put me on hold?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: “I called before and complained about the awful hold music you guys use. I want to see if you changed it.”

Me: “Hold on just a minute.”

(I put the caller on hold for a minute.)

Me: “Hello, are you still there ma’am?”

Caller: “Yeah, I’m here.”

Me: “So is the hold music any less awful?”

Caller: “No, not really. Thanks.” *click*

Make A Bullet Point About Bertha

| Peoria, IL, USA | Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

Me: “Sir, do we need to speak with anyone other than yourself to gain access onto your property?”

Customer: “No, no. My wife will be home. Oh yeah, and Bertha.”

Me: “Bertha, sir?”

Customer: “Bertha’s my shotgun, in case any of your technicians decide to get kinky with my wife.”

Undeserved Credit

| Ohio, USA | Funny Names, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you today?”

Caller: *yelling* “I want to make sure that idiot woman I spoke with a little while ago credited my card back because I think she was stupid and didn’t know what she was doing!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll be happy to check on that credit for you today. After looking at the account, it looks like it was credited back to the credit card as stated it would be.”

Caller: “Are you sure that idiot did it? She sounded like a liar to me!”

(After looking closer at the account, I see it was me who spoke to her last.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I did take care of that credit just like I said I would when you called me a little while ago.”

Caller: *silence* “Uh… I knew you would. You’re such a sweet girl!”

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