A Whole New Meaning To Racing Games

| Stillwater, OK, USA | Right | May 24, 2013

(I work for a Singapore-based business. We support computer equipment, that often includes a free PC game.)

Customer: “Do y’all have any games that isn’t about [slur to describe Chinese people] or [slur describing black people]?”

Coworker: “Um, I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “F****** c****’s and n*****’s! All the games I got from your company have those people in them.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry you’re disappointed in the free games, but I’m going to have ask you to use more respectful language.”

Customer: “Yeah, I know they make you say that kind of nonsense. You’re going to have to replace these games though. I can’t play a game about those people.”

Coworker: “Like I said, sir, the games are free. If you’re offended, may I suggest not playing them?”

(My coworker presses the mute button and talks to the supervisor on duty.)

Coworker: “Can I disconnect someone for being racist?”

(The supervisor looks at the picture of my coworker’s very racially diverse family, and then picks up the phone.)

Supervisor: “Sir, I’m afraid that my c**** and n***** coworkers and I at our c**** company are going to have to ask you to take your racist game needs somewhere else. If you can find a single game anywhere that doesn’t have an Asian or Black person working on it, you are welcome to it. Please don’t call again.” *click*

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A Capital Offense

| AL, USA | Right | May 24, 2013

(A customer calls in requesting a password reset for his account.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I’ll go ahead and reset your password to the default. It will be the last four digits of your social security number, and the four digit year of your birth.”

Customer: “Okay, those are all capitals, right?”

Me: “Yes, sir, all the letters in your username are capitalized.”

Customer: “And what did you say my password will be?”

Me: “It will be the last four digits of your social security number, and the four digit year of your birth.”

Customer: “And are those capitalized or lowercase?”

Me: “Well, it will be the last four digits of your social—”

Customer: “I know that! But are they going to be capitalized or lower case?”

Me: *gives up* “They’re going to be capitalized numbers, sir.”

Customer: “Great! Thanks!”

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Acts Of Godawful Coworkers

| Fremont, CA, USA | Working | May 24, 2013

Me: “Thank you for calling [company] customer service. My name is [name]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “This is going to sound incredibly stupid and unreal, but I figured I would ask anyway. I have your [scanner brand] in my hands and the tab in the USB port is mangled beyond belief through no fault of your company. By any chance would ‘Coworker Disasters’ be covered under your warranty?”

Me: “Well, what seems to have happened to it? Maybe there is something I can do for you.”

(The caller sort of chuckles before sighing.)

Caller: “We had just given this new scanner to [coworker] to set up at her desktop. After 20 minutes, I began to hear a weird crunching noise and asked her if there was anything she needed help with. She told me she was just having a lot of trouble with the safety tab. This confused me seeing I have the same scanner and there was no ‘safety tab.’ When I went to check on her, to my horror I saw her with a metal butter knife trying to chip the much needed tab out of the USB port. I stopped her and asked what she thought she was doing.”

(I hear a light slap and what she says next is a bit muffled. I presume she had face-palmed herself at this point.)

Caller: “I couldn’t believe [coworker] sat there completely serious with the butter knife and told me she “didn’t think the tab belonged there,” and since she couldn’t take it out normally, she had gotten the knife to pry it out. So, do you think there is anything you can help me with?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, give me a second and let me see what I can do…”

(At this point I put the poor lady on hold, go to to my supervisor, and ask if there is anything we can do. I get my answer and go back to the call.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am? Well, I talked with my supervisor and normally the highest discount we can give on a scanner is about 25%, but she let me offer you 35%. Also, we can ship the new unit from here and put a bright yellow sticker with the tech support phone number and a caution to call them before opening the box on the outside if you’d like.”

(The caller cracks up laughing on the phone, and then agrees to order a new unit with the discount. We indeed shipped the box with the yellow caution sticker on it. A week later, the customer called in thanking me for the extra service and said she would recommend our product to other companies she knew.)

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Of All The Reasons For A Cause To Give You Pause

| Austin, TX, USA | Right | May 13, 2013

(I work at a call center for a cancer charity. I generally speak to donors and volunteers that are very supportive of our mission.)

Me: “Hello, my name is [name]. Thank you for calling—”

Caller: “Are you a Muslim organization?”

Me: “Uh, no we are not.”

Caller: “Are you some kind of terrorist?”

Me: “No, of course not.”

Caller: “Well, I saw the bumper-sticker for your event, and it uses that d*** Muslim symbol with the moon and star.”

Me: “Oh… I can see why you might misunderstand. There is some similarity between the Muslim star and crescent, and the logo we use for our fundraising events. See, the event is a relay that goes on for 24 hours. It has a sun, moon, and star to symbolize that the fight against cancer goes on, day and night.”

Caller: “Where’d you get the idea for that!?”

Me: “The… sky?”

Caller: “I bet you have Muslims in your organization!”

Me: “Well, we do not discriminate on the basis of creed or race, and we are quite a large organization. I assume we do have some Muslims.”

Caller: “Well… you shouldn’t use that d*** Muslim symbol! You’re confusing people!”

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Trash Talking Your Service

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Right | May 5, 2013

(I work for a trash service. The customer I’m speaking with had an account several years ago that was cancelled due to non-payment. It still has a balance.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We cannot reactivate your account unless there is a zero balance.”

Customer: “Well I only put out my trash once a month! I will only pay for once a month pickup! I will not pay that amount!”

Me: “But once a month pickup is not a service we offer in any area.”

Customer: “I don’t care! I only put out my trash once a month! You are just trying to get more money out of me!”

Me: “Okay, so let me get this straight: you want to pay for a service that doesn’t exist, only because you say it does?”

Customer: “Yes!”

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