Taking The Hi Road

| TX, USA | Right | December 25, 2012

(It’s been an unusually busy day, and my coworkers and I have been taking calls back to back for several hours.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [name of business]. This is [my name]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, [my name]!”

(I wait a few seconds for her to tell me what she needs, but she remains silent.)

Me: “Yes, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, [my name]!”

Me: “Ma’am, is there something I can help you with?”

Caller: “Hi, [my name]!”

(I’m starting to think this is a prank call or the person is not all there.)

Me: “Well, if there’s nothing I can help you with, I’m going to have to—”

Caller: “It must take a lot of effort if you won’t even say ‘Hi’.”

Me: “…Hello?”

Caller: “Hi, [my name]!”

Me: “Hi.”

Caller: “It took way too much work for you to just say ‘Hi’ to me. I don’t want you to help me! Transfer me to someone else!”

(She had probably waited at least 10 minutes before reaching me, and would have to wait at least 10 more minutes to speak to someone else. She was fine with that!)

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Eve-ntually, They’ll Get It

| Utah, USA | Working | December 24, 2012

Supervisor: “What day is Christmas Eve?”

Me: “It’s on a Monday.”

Supervisor: “I mean, is it on the 24th?”

Me: “Yes, just like it is every year.”

Supervisor: “Oh… is that the dumbest question I’ve ever asked?”

Me: “Possibly. It’s slightly dumber than the first time you asked it.”

Supervisor: “I asked you that before?!”

Se Habla Anguish

| USA | Right | December 18, 2012

(I work on the Spanish-speaking line at a call center. After 3 minutes of conversation in Spanish with a caller…)

Caller: “Thanks for the help, but can I give you some constructive criticism?”

Me: “I welcome it.”

Caller: “Next time I call the Spanish line, I want to talk in Spanish. So, if you talk to me again, do it in Spanish!”

Me: “We’ve been talking in Spanish for four minutes.”

Caller: *in Spanish* “Don’t lie! I’m not speaking Spanish! You’re not speaking Spanish! Speak Spanish next time!”

Me: “Que le vaya bien.”

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Missed Opportunities

| CA, USA | Working | December 17, 2012

(I’m currently on the line with a male representative. Please note that I am female.)

Representative: “Can you please state your name for me?”

Me: “Yes, it’s [name].”

Representative: “Thank you, Mrs. [name]. Let me look into your account for you.”

Me: “Okay, cool, but it’s Miss, not Mrs. I’m not married.”

Representative: “Oh, I’m sorry about that.”

Me: “Me too.”

This Company’s Days Are Numbered

| Mexico | Working | December 15, 2012

(I’m at home watching TV when I receive a call on my cellphone. I’m a girl.)

Representative: “Hello, I’d like to speak with Mr. [name].”

Me: “I’m sorry; this is not his number.”

Representative: “Is the number [number]?”

Me: “Yes, it is, but this not his number.”

Representative: “But you know him?”

Me: “No, I don’t know him.”

Representative: “Are you his wife?”

Me: “No, I told you I don’t know the guy. I’ve never heard of him. This is not his number; it’s mine.”

Representative: *rudely*This is the number I have on the system. Did you buy the phone recently?”

Me: “No, this is my number, and I’ve had it for over 7 years. He must have made a mistake when he gave you the number.”

Representative: “No, he gave us the number a couple of days ago and we confirmed it.”

Me: “Well, then I don’t know what to say. This is not his number.”

Representative: “Anyway, you have to tell him he owes us $[amount] and he has to come pay it by tomorrow!”

Me: “Excuse me, but what part of ‘This is not his number’ and ‘I don’t know him’ do you not understand?”

Representative: “Anyway, be sure to tell him that when you see him!”

(Despite my attempts to explain my situation multiple times, this went on for days!)

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