This Call Has Been Terminated

| Wisconsin, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. How may I assist you?”

Caller: “Well, first of all, you can get a real life person on the line.”

Me: “I’m sorry? Sir, I can assure you, I am an actual person.”

Caller: “No, no, no! Don’t play that crap with me. I know how advanced you machines are getting these days. You–”

Me: “Sir, I promise you, I am not a machine.”

Caller: “See! You couldn’t even tell the right place to start talking! That, and that pause before you responded is all I needed to hear to know for sure. Yeah, that’s right! I know how to read you things. What do you have to say to that, you worthless box of microchips?”

Me: *long pause* “Beep?”

Some Callers Are Proper Dementor

| Racine, WI, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Top

(I have a caller named Victor Krumm in the computer system. I’m a Harry Potter fan.)

Me: “Okay, sir, so you’re Victor Krumm?”

Caller: “Yep, that’s me.”

Me: “Sorry, this might sound funny, but did you know that there’s a book series called Harry Potter with a character with that name?”

(There’s a pause, as if he’s thinking, and suddenly he yells.)


(He hangs up. His wife calls a little while later to actually schedule.)

1 Thumbs

Pride Goeth Before A Deal

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Canada, Money, Top, Uncategorized

(I work at a call center in Canada dealing with American cell customers. This is a call from a customer in Seattle.)

Me: “Hello, thanks for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Does your company outsource to India?”

Me: “I don’t know for sure, but I know it does hire companies out of the USA.”

Caller: “I’d like to cancel my service, then.”

Me: “I can do that for you. May I ask why you’d like to cancel?”

Caller: “I don’t support companies that don’t support America. If they’re hiring out of America, then I don’t want to support them.”

Me: “All right, I’ll process that cancellation for you.”

Caller: “Am I calling to India?!”

Me: “No. I’m actually in Canada.”

Caller: “Oh, I love Canada! I do all my shopping there. Everything is so much cheaper!”

H2Slow, Part 3

| Minnesota, USA | Money, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Caller: "I was just wondering if my credit card will work the same in Hawaii as it does here?"

Me: "Well, ma’am, Hawaii is part of the US, so it should."

Caller: "I know. I was just making sure since we’d be flying over a body of water."

H2Slow, Part 2

No Vocation For Location, Part 2

| Huntsville, AL, USA | Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Customer: “Yes I am wondering why I got hit with roaming charges in the Bahamas?”

Me: “Well, because your plan offers you coverage in the United States and outside of it there are roaming charges.”

Customer: “Well I never got these charges in Puerto Rico!”

Me: “That’s because Puerto Rico is part of the US.”

Customer: “But it takes me longer to get there!”

No Aptitude For Latitude, Part 2
No Vocation For Location
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 4
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 3
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 2
No Fortitude For Longitude
No Aptitude For Latitude

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