Not So Smart-Phone, Part 2

| IN, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “How do I make a call from this touch-screen phone? I can’t figure it out.”

Me: “Are you calling from the device?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Repeat what you did, but with a different number.”

Not So Smart-Phone

Education Is Wasted On The Young

| Ohio, USA | Uncategorized

(A number comes across the screen with the same area code as my hometown.)

Me: “Hi, this is [name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I was wondering if you could give me the number for the store in [town]. I live over in [town I grew up in].”

Me: “Sure thing. So you live in [town]? I grew up there. I just graduated in ’06.”

Customer: “Oh wow! What a small world! I graduated in ’82.”

Me: “That’s awesome. Okay, that number is [number].”

Customer: “Thanks! Wow, 1906…that’s incredible.”

Me: “Ma’am, I graduated in 2006, not 1906.”

Customer: “Oh, no wonder you sound so young!”

Cold Calling

| California, USA | Bizarre, Uncategorized

Caller: “Hello, may I speak to Mr. Ralph ******?”

Me: “I’m sorry, he’s dead.”

Caller: “Oh, I’m very sorry for your loss.”

Me: “It’s okay. It’s been 20 years. I think we’re over it.”

No Paws For Thought

| Canada | Pets & Animals, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, [Public Transport], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, do you allow cats on your buses?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, but only service animals are allowed on the bus.”

Caller: “But she’s a very quiet cat! The airline let me take her!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but those are the rules. We can’t allow animals on board.”

(We go back and forth like this for a few minutes.)

Caller: *desperately* “What if I say she’s a seeing-eye cat? I could put a little collar on her saying she’s a seeing-eye cat.”

Me: “I don’t think that’s going to work.”

Caller: “What if I dress her like a dog?”

Me: “They’re not going to buy that.”

Caller: “Why not?!”

(The conversation continues in a similar fashion.)

Caller: “You’re not allowed to hang up on me, are you?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Caller: “I feel sorry for you.”

John Paul The Third (Time’s A Charm)

| Dublin, Ireland | Funny Names, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, Paul speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Who?”

Me: “Paul.”

Customer: “John?”

Me: “No, Paul.”

Customer: “John?”

Me: “No, Paul. P-A-U-L.”

Customer: “That’s not how you spell John!”

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