Misadventures In Time And Space

, | MN, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “[Taxi call center], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh my goodness. I need a cab right now!”

Me: “Alright, we’ll try and work fast as we can for you. What is the address we’re picking you up from?”

Customer: “1234 Smith Ave.”

Me: “That address is not showing up in our system. Is there a direction on Smith Ave? North, south, east or west?”

Customer: “I think it’s 1234 Smith Ave. Or it could be John St.”

Me: “Alright. If you’re not sure of the address, is there someone there you can ask, please?”

Customer: “Oh, this is my place.”

Me: “You don’t know your address? Do you receive mail at your home? Could you look at the address on that for me?”

Customer: “Hold on. Oh! It’s 1234 North Smith Ave!”

Me: “Okay, that went into the system just fine. We’ll try and get a cab over to you as soon as possible.”

Customer: “Oh dear. What time is it?”

Me: “It’s about 9:15.”

Customer: “Oh no! In the morning?”

Me: “No, it’s 9:15pm…at night.”

Customer: “Oh, good! I didn’t miss my appointment. I need a cab for the morning! I’ll call back then! Thank you! Bye!” *click*

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13

| NJ, USA | Uncategorized

(I am taking an order from a customer.)

Me: “I have a credit card on file for you. It is a card ending in 4312. Should we use that one?”

Caller: “I have no idea whose card that is, so charge that one.”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 11
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 10
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 9
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 8
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
This Is Why We’re In A Recession

Shouldn’t Have Rented Conspiracy Theory

, | Portland, OR, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [online movie rental]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Yes, I’m having a problem with my account. I think I may have uncovered a serious conspiracy to keep me from getting movies!”

Me: “That’s definitely not good. I’d love to take a look at your account. May I have your name please?”

Caller: “I’d better not give you my name. They may be listening now. I’d rather make this as anonymous as possible.”

Me: “That’s fine. What’s going on?”

Caller: “My postman will only pick up my movies every three days unless I put a dollar in each return envelope. I’m afraid you guys are paying them to do this!”

Me: “I can assure you we want you renting movies. That’s what we’re in business for. Have you tried returning your movies from another location?”

Caller: “When I do that, it takes even longer for them to get picked up! I’ve been staying up until midnight to put my movies in my mailbox so the postman can’t see. I was out last night, and I slipped on some wet leaves! I said to myself, ‘Why am I living like this?’ So, I thought I should call you.”

Me: “Sir, if you’re concerned your postman isn’t doing his job, I can get you a number for the mail customer care line.”

Caller: *whispering emphatically* “You don’t understand! He’s the only one and he has the only key! Look into the mailboxes! The only key! Beeeeee saaaaaaaafe!” *click*

1 Thumbs
1,809
VOTES

Need To Purge That Urge

| WA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi! Thanks for calling. How can I help?”

Customer: “I need to know what kinds of [adult] toys you sell.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I can show you how to use our search feature! Are you on the website now?”

Customer: “I don’t want to look. I want you to tell me! Describe them.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can help you use the website.”

(The customer gets upset, and starts talking about her physical urges that demand these items.)

Me: “I will be more than happy to show you how to search on the website. If not, I will need to end this call.”

Customer: “I don’t have a computer.”

Me: “Well, do you have a friend’s computer, or maybe internet on your phone that you can use?”

Customer: “Nah, I don’t have none of that.”

Me: “Well, maybe a public library?”

Customer: “Nah. They don’t let me in there no more.”

1 Thumbs
1,925
VOTES

Might Have To Go Through Alternative Channels

| Lincoln, NE, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [satellite tv]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I just bought new equipment. Turn it on for me.”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(I take down customer’s info. I try to turn his satellite TV on with no success.)

Me: “Sir, is your receiver hooked up?”

Customer: “Yea, it’s plugged in.”

Me: “Is it connected to the TV?”

Customer: “Of course. I’m not an idiot!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, they make us ask. Is your satellite dish installed on your roof?”

Customer: “Is my what on the roof?”

Me: “Your dish, sir. Is it on the roof?”

Customer: “I don’t have a dish on the roof, but I have over fifty of them in the kitchen.”

Page 120/187First...118119120121122...Last