Me: “All right, ma’am, to reset your password, we’re going to need to go through your security questions.”

Client: “All right, go ahead.”

Me: “First question: what is the name of the street your first home was on?”

Client: “How dare you demand I have to answer security questions?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I assure you, this is all standard pro— Oh.”

Client: “It’s the answer to the question.”

Me: “Yes.”

Client: “Yeah, your bank lets people create these questions when they’re still teenagers and I thought it was funny at the time. Sorry about that.”

Me: “That’s all right. Do you want to change any of these questions once we’re done?”

Client: “Honestly, I think that they’re more secure this way. I want to leave ’em.”

And although it triggers the PTSD of anyone in any call centre ever… fair enough.

I plan repairs for various things inside the house. 

Caller: “I heard you guys can also repair things outside of the contract, against a fee.”

Me: “We can pick up certain jobs, yes. What needs to be done?”

Caller: “How will I know how much it will cost?”

Me: “That depends on what needs to be done. So, what needs to be repaired?”

Caller: “Oh, I just want to know how much it will cost.”

Me: “How much what will cost?”

Caller: “Well, for you to come here?”

Me: “Could you tell me what needs to be repaired?”

Caller: “It’s not covered by the contract we have with you.”

Me: “I understand. But in order to calculate the costs, I need to know what needs to be repaired.”

Caller: “Can’t you just give a number?”

Me: “I’m sorry, not without knowing what needs to be repaired.” 

Caller: “You are no help at all. I’ll just email my question. Maybe they can help me.”

I had an email shift that afternoon. The email had the exact same question, with no specifications. I once again asked what needs to be repaired but we received no reply whatsoever.

We offered a free complimentary service with the ownership of a product, but the sponsoring provider of this service has cut their contract with our company, resulting in us having to discontinue the free service. Most of our customers understand this and move on, especially since it was free service anyway. And then there is this caller:

Caller: *Irate.* “I demand that you get in touch with the sponsoring company and demand that they reinstate their contract with you!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but–”

Caller: “And then I want the CEO or an executive to personally call me back!”

Me: “I can’t do that, sir.”

Caller: “Then how do you intend to provide a substitute service? You need to force the sponsoring company back into a contract!”

He then later called back threatened to sue the company for “false advertising” and even left the name of the attorney that we should be expecting to be contacted by.

I have just had a caller transferred to me from one of our Order Processing phone representatives. The caller is not able to log in to our website.

Me: “Hello, [Caller], this is [My Name]. I understand from [Phone Representative] that you are not able to log in?”

Caller: “Yes. This happens every time that I try to log in; I have to reset the password. So, I reset it again today, and then I couldn’t log in with the new password.”

On our website, after you reset the password, it logs you in, so she would have had to log out and then log back in, so she was clearly testing to make sure the password would work.

Me: “I apologize that the website is not letting you log in. I show that your username is [Caller’s Full Name] with no spaces. Is that the username you are trying to log in with?”

Caller: “No, my username is [email address].”

Me: “I apologize for any confusion. That is the email address we have on record for you, but your username is [Caller’s Full Name]. Can you check and see if you can log in with that username and your password?”

Caller: “No. It doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay, I’m going to resend the password reset email to you and have to try to reset it with me. Let me know when you receive it.”

Caller: “I have it.”

Me: “Now, click the ‘reset password’ link in the email just like you did before, and then type in the new password and click ‘continue’.”

Caller: “Okay, I reset it and I’m in. I’m going to log out and back in again to make sure it works.”

Me: “Okay. Let me know if it works.”

Caller: *Sounding a bit disappointed* “It worked this time. I’m back.”

Me: “I’m glad we were able to get this straightened out for you. Just remember for next time that the username is [Caller’s Full Name].”

The perplexing part of this incident is that in the password reset email, right above the previously mentioned “reset password” link, is a line that says, “Username,” and lists the person’s username.

Related:
The Username Blame Game

I have just been transferred a customer. I have verified her username, done the two-step procedure to link the online profile to the account, and confirmed on my end that the link is complete.

Me: “Okay, I’ve linked that username to your account, all you need to do is—”

Caller: *Interrupts* “Log out and log back in?”

Me: “Exactly. Let me know when you have logged back in.”

Caller: “Okay, I’m back in.”

Me: “Click ‘My Account’ in the upper right corner and you should now see a link in the dropdown menu that says ‘Invoices and Account Balance’.”

This is the quickest way to have the customer confirm that the manual link is successful, because it only requires clicking one link.

Caller: “No, it’s not there.”

This is unusual because I can see it on her user profile. There is an alternate procedure that we can use to achieve the same result; it just takes longer, and I decide to try that before calling IT to report the issue.

Me: “I’m sorry. Let me try to link you up another way. Can you hold for one minute?”

Caller: “Sure.”

I put her on hold and perform the alternate procedure, then recheck her user profile and see it’s been linked.

Me: *Takes the caller off hold* “Okay, go ahead and log out again and then back in, and let me know when you’re back in.”

Caller: “Okay, I’m in.”

Me: “Click ‘My Account’ in the upper right corner and see if the ‘Invoices and Account Balance’ link is in the dropdown menu.”

Caller: “No, it’s not there.”

Me: “Let me just double-check, it is the [Username] that you’re logging into, correct?”

Caller: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “I am so sorry, it should be there. Let me just ask a couple of questions and then get this reported to our IT team…”

Caller: “Do you think I should try logging out and logging back in instead of just closing the browser tab?”

Me: “…”

Me: “Yes.”

When she actually logged out and back in, it was there.