A Relieve Of Absence

| UK | Working | February 21, 2013

(I have just had to take some last minute time off to care for my mother, who has just had some minor surgery. As it is last minute, I ask to have it taken out of paid holiday allowance.)

Manager: “I know you had to have some time off, and you asked to have this taken out of your holiday entitlement, but we have to say no.”

Me: “I understand; it’s fine. It was last minute, so can it just go down as unpaid leave? I really don’t want to have it go down as sickness.”

Manager: “Don’t worry. It wont go down as sickness, and you’re being paid for it.”

Me: “Okay, that’s gre—sorry, what?”

Manager: “You’re being paid for it; don’t worry about it. You’re a valued member of the department and the company. Also, if you need to take any other time off, just let us know. And if there is anything we can do to help you, just let us know.”

(I have never had a company look after their employees like this. Working for a small but growing company has its advantages. This just shows how GOOD some companies and managers can be!)

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Having A Light Bulb Moment

| AB, Canada | Right | February 11, 2013

Me: “Thanks for calling [company name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m calling because my bill is too high!”

Me: “Alright, I can pull up your account and see what could have caused the increase in—”

Customer: “It’s always been too high, and I think it’s this distribution charge.”

Me: “Ah, well that comes from the regulated electricity distributors, the ones that own and maintain the lines in the area. They send that information to us; we don’t have any control over that, unfortunately.”

Customer: “It’s a bulls*** charge! I don’t need no distribution!”

Me: “Well… the charge is for maintaining the electrical lines that transmit the electricity—”

Customer: “Transmitting the electricity?”

Me: “Yeah… you know, sending it out there.”

Customer: “What are you talking about? They don’t have to send it anywhere!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “When I turn on the lights, they just come on. I don’t have to wait for the electricity to get there, it’s already there.”

Me: “That’s not how electricity works, sir.”

Customer: “Of course it is! It turns on right away because the electricity is there. It doesn’t move!”

Me: “Sir… do you have a microwave?”

Customer: “Of course I do.”

Me: “And when you use your microwave, it works immediately, correct?”

Customer: “Right, because the electricity is already in there.”

Me: “So, why do you have to plug it in if the electricity is already there?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “If you unplug your microwave it doesn’t work anymore, right?”

Customer: “Well, yes! What does that have to do with—”

Me: “That’s because the electricity has to travel through the cable to get to the microwave to make it work.”

(He mutters as he’s grasping for something to argue.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: *click*

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That Makes Two Of Us

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Right | February 11, 2013

Caller: “Hi, I’m returning a call here?”

Me: “Yes? Are you looking for health insurance?”

Caller: “Well, yes.”

Me: “Great! Do you have the name of who called you? If not, I can just transfer you to an available agent.”

Caller: “Well, that’s the thing. I have a note and it says Linda.”

Me: “Okay, well—”

Caller: “Do you have a Linda? Because my name is Linda, and I’m worried I just wrote my own name down.”

Me: “We have a Linda. I’ll transfer you.”

Caller: “Oh, thank goodness!”

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There’s Got To Be A Debtor Way

| USA | Working | February 6, 2013

(Backstory: My husband recently found out he had an acute form of cancer which would be deadly unless he got immediate treatment (leukemia). It has rendered him totally disabled and is totally dependent on me for everything. He is so weak that he can’t shower or get dressed and can barely walk from room to room. This has unfortunately left us behind on our credit card.)

Me: “I understand why you’re calling, but I just do not have any money to give right now. We’re only bringing in $600 a month in social security and that barely covers 2/3 of the mortgage. I have NO money left. I called to explain this already.”

Credit Card Rep: “You need to get a job.”

Me: “I don’t think you understand. My husband has cancer. I will be more than willing to send you whatever documentation you’d like from the hospital to prove I’m telling the truth. I can’t leave him alone at all. He’s a fall hazard.”

Credit Card Rep: “You need to find a job and hire someone to watch him. Try [fast food restaurant].”

Me: “Do you really think I’m going to find someone to be his caregiver on a [fast food restaurant] salary? I’ll be paying out more to that than I bring in! That doesn’t even make sense!”

Credit Card Rep: “I think you’re just lazy and don’t feel like working. It’s harder to work at [fast food restaurant] than it is to take care of an adult. You can leave him for a few hours.”

Me: “Do you even hear what you’re saying?”

Credit Card Rep: “Well, then you need to ask someone to help you take care of him.”

Me: “Who? The people who have jobs and bills to pay? You want them to take time off work and help me for free?”

Credit Card Rep: “Yes!”

Yukon Freeze It, Part 2

| ON, Canada | Right | February 6, 2013

(I work at a call centre located in Canada, but our focus is verifying orders placed for long distance phone service with a particular company in America, so all our incoming calls originate from there. I am on a call with a man from a Southern state.)

Caller: “Where are you from?”

Me: “We’re located in Canada, sir.”

Caller: “Oh wow, you must see a lot of moose up there then?”

Me: “Well, maybe more so out west, sir. But we are in Southern Ontario. There aren’t really any moose here.”

Caller: “You must have a lot of snow, right?”

Me: *it’s currently summer* “Yes, during the winter we can get lots of snow.”

Caller: “How do you power your call centre?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir? We use electricity.”

Caller: “Wouldn’t the heat from electricity melt the igloos?”

(I have to mute my headset as I laugh and try to compose myself. I want so badly to joke with him, but our calls are recorded.)

Me: “No, sir. We live in houses and buildings in cities just like you. Even way up north I don’t think you’d find any igloos anymore.”

Caller: “Really? Oh. What were you asking me again?”

(We resume the call as normal, but at the after our goodbyes, he jumps in.)

Caller: “Wait! If I give you my email, can you send me a picture of a moose?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

Caller: “Aw, how come?”

Me: “Because it’s against company policy and the moose are camera shy. Have a great day, sir!”

Yukon Freeze It

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