Policy No Evil, Speak No Evil

| ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

(The call centre I work at specializes in roadside assistance. We have a script to follow to ensure that we get the customer the proper service. This call comes in at 9:20, ten minutes before the end of my shift.)

Me: “Thank you for calling roadside assistance. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “My car won’t open!”

Me: “Okay, I can certainly help with that. May I have your policy number?”

Caller: “Why do you need that?”

Me: “So I can access your policy and confirm coverage.”

Caller: “Fine! It’s [number].”

Me: “Thank you. And may I have your first and last name?”

Caller: “Just send someone!”

Me: “I’d be happy to, ma’am, but first I need to verify the information in our files.”

Caller: “I gave you my policy number! You don’t need anything else!”

(We actually can’t go forward in the program without the customer’s name. I explain that to her and she eventually confirms her name.)

Me: “I’m showing that you’re in Texas. And what is the year, make, and model of your vehicle, ma’am?”

Caller: “You don’t need that! Stop asking so many questions! Just unlock my car!”

Me: “Ma’am, in order to send out service, we have to know what type of vehicle needs to be unlocked. Different vehicles require different equipment.”

(She argues with me for 5 more minutes. At this point, I am supposed to be off about 20 minutes ago. She finally confirms the vehicle.)

Me: “What colour is that vehicle?”

Caller: “God d*** it! Why are you asking so many questions?! I use this service all the time! They never ask me so many questions! Send me service now!”

Me: *losing patience* “Look, Ms. [name]. We are required to ask these questions on every single call, so when you called us last time, you were most definitely asked all of this. If you want me to send someone to you right now, they’ll never find you because not only will they not know what car to look for, but they’ll be driving around the whole of Texas, since you haven’t told me where you are. Now, if you’ll answer the rest of my questions, I can dispatch someone to your location. Otherwise, I suggest you find a large rock.”

(After that, she answered every question with no problem, and I found a locksmith who could be there in 15 minutes. The next day, I got an email from another rep saying that the woman had called back in to apologize for how she treated me!)

1-800-WE-R-NICE

| MO, USA | Awesome Workers, Pets & Animals

(Our medical device company has an 800 number that is one digit off from another company, which sells skin care products. We therefore get a lot of wrong numbers.)

Me: “Good morning, [medical devices company], how may I help you?”

Elderly Lady: “Hello? I need to order some cream. I have a terrible rash on my bottom.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we are [medical devices company], not [skin care company]. I can give you their number.”

Elderly Lady: “But this rash is terrible! I live in Florida and the heat makes it worse!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. If you want to write down the—”

Elderly Lady: “It’s very red and sore! I live alone, you know. My husband died a few years ago. I really need some cream!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. But we don’t sell that. Their number is almost the same—”

Elderly Lady: “I have a cat. Do you like cats?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I do.”

Elderly Lady: “His name is Buster. He is old like me.”

(She seems lonely, so I decide to just talk to her for a while. I finally manage to give her the other number.)

Lady: “Thank you, sweetheart. You are a very nice young lady!” *hangs up*

Nothing’s Gonna Save His Sole

| VA, USA | Religion, Rude & Risque

(I work at a religious call center that takes prayer requests for the people who call in. It’s late on Sunday night.)

Caller: “Hi, I want prayer.”

Me: “Certainly, sir. What can I pray for you?”

Caller: “Are you wearing shoes?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am wearing shoes. What can I pray for you?”

Caller: “Can you take your shoes off?”

Me: “No, sir, we have a dress code. I can’t take my shoes off. ”

Caller: “Are you wearing high heels?”

Me: “No, sir. What can I pray for you?”

Caller: “What shoes are you wearing?” *in rapid succession* “Sandals, sling backs, sneakers, flip flops—”

Me: “Sir, I can’t talk about my shoes with you.”

Caller: *click*