Ink Isn’t The Only Thing Running Low

, | Location undisclosed | Uncategorized

Customer: “Whenever I try to print my statement from your website, it always comes out really light. I don’t have this problem with other websites. Are you guys out of ink?”

Me: “No. Are you using your home computer?”

Customer: “Yes. I already called the ink cartridge company. They said it’s not their fault.”

Me: “Well, if you’re trying to print at home, it’s a problem with your home computer. Our printers are working just fine.”

Customer: “So, you’re not out of ink?”

Me: “No. Maybe you should have someone look at your computer’s settings.”

Customer: “Should I call the ink cartridge company again?”

Me: “I don’t think that will fix it.”

Customer: “Okay. I’ll call the ink cartridge company again. Thanks! Bye!”

You’re Watching The Braille Channel

| Preston, Lancashire, UK | Uncategorized

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “The problem is you sent me a blind person’s television!”

Me: “Pardon me, sir?”

Customer: “You heard me! A television you sell to blind people!”

Me: “I am sorry, nothing like that exists. Are you sure the TV is not just faulty?”

Customer: “I don’t care what’s wrong with it! All I know is I am not blind!”

Now I (Don’t) Know My ABCs

| Oregon, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “I just need you to type in ‘Http’.”


Me: “H like hotel, t like tom, t like tom, p like papa.”

Caller: “Htcp?”

Me: “Almost. H like hotel, T like Tom, T like Tom, P like Papa.”

Caller: “Chtc?”

Me: “Our connection must be rough.” *very slowly* “H like hoooteeel, T like Tommm, T like Tommm, P like Paaapaaa.”

Caller: “Oh! Ghtc!”

Me: “Let me send you a link.”

You Got The Wrongest Email

| Upstate, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “I’d like to get more information about [program].”

Me: “I’d be glad to help you with that, sir. Actually, we sent an email to you earlier in the week about it.”

Caller: “Really? I didn’t see it. Maybe it’s in my spam folder.”

(He checks his spam folder.)

Caller: “Well, I don’t see your email. There’s something about how male-enhancement drugs can improve my bedroom performance. That’s not from you guys, is it?”

You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 4
You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 3
You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 2
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
You Got The Wrong(est) Item
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
You Got The Wrong(est) Number

The Phone Is Suffering From ‘The Situation’

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [company name] tech support. How can I help you today?”

Caller: *thick inner city accent* “Yeah. Phone don’t work. It’s all like ‘WHAAAAAAT’, and needs to be like ‘YAAYUUUUHHH’.

Me: “What exactly is not working, sir?”

Caller: “My phone.”

Me: “I understand your phone is having issues. What exactly is it doing?”

Caller: *slowly and deliberately* It’s all like ‘WHAAAAAAT’, and needs to be like ‘YAAYUUUUHHH’.

Me: “How about we just exchange the phone?”

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