Did A Real Number On That Order

| Worcester, England, UK | Extra Stupid

(A customer calls up, saying she checked her account online and saw her order was cancelled.)

Customer: “Why was it cancelled? I never asked it to be cancelled!”

Me: “Well, it looks like when the order was placed, but the CVC was input incorrectly, so we were unable to take payment.”

Customer: “Well, who put it in incorrectly!?”

Me: “Umm, it was actually you who placed it online.”

Customer: “Well, why did no one bother calling me to let me know there was a problem!?”

Me: “When you set the order up online, you didn’t provide us with a contact number.”

Customer: *hangs up*

Auctions Speak Louder Than Words

| Nottingham, England, UK | Language & Words, Money

Me: “Hi, you’ve reached [me] at [company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I sent my item back because I didn’t want it, and now you’re refusing to give me a refund.”

(I take the customer’s order number and details and see what our system says.)

Me: “According to our system, we received your item back on [date] and the refund should have been automatic.”

Customer: “Well, I haven’t got it, and I got an email today telling me you were going to auction my refund!”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “I can’t believe you can’t even do a simple refund! How stupid are you? I’ve shopped with you for a very long time, but I never will again! How dare you auction my things?”

(The customer goes on like this for a few minutes, accusing the company of stealing her money and me of being too stupid to help her. Once she stops, I get a chance to reply.)

Me: “Okay. Might the e-mail say we’re actioning your refund”?”

Customer: *hangs up*

It’s Always Best To Check

| Central Valley, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I have spoken to this caller about two weeks ago. She calls again and I pull up her account.)

Caller: “I called a couple of weeks ago and was told to expect a check for $1000.”

Me: “Yes, that’s correct, I remember authorizing the check myself, let me review the file. I spoke to you on the 9th, and the check went out on the 10th.”

Caller: “Today is the 22nd, and I haven’t received it yet.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, let’s double-check your address. We send the check to [address].”

Caller: “Yes, that is correct.”

Me: “Okay, let’s make sure that we have everything spelled correctly.”

(We double-check that her name and address are spelled correctly.)

Me: “Ma’am, have you been having any difficulties with receiving your mail? Have you gotten the mail from anybody else?”

Caller: “I don’t know, I haven’t checked the mail all week!”

Me: “Then maybe you should check your mail?”

Caller: “As in right now?”

Me: “Yes, I can hold while you check.”

Caller: “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

(Caller puts the phone down, and she comes back on the line in about a minute.)

Caller: “I got the check!”