Scream If You Wanna Hang Up Faster

| Plymouth, England, UK | Bizarre, Top

Me: “Hello, you’re through to the billing department. How can I help you?”

(All I hear from the customer is a high-pitched, incoherent screaming.)

Me: “Sir? Hello? I can’t understand what you are saying.”

(Still screaming.)

Me: “Sir, if you could just calm down and tell me the problem, I’m sure I can figure it out.”

(The customer keeps screaming. I hang up. Two minutes later, my colleague takes a call.)

Colleague: “Hello, you’re through to the billing department, how can I help you?”

(Incoherent screaming.)

Colleague: *looks at me* “It’s for you.”

A Higher Voice Is Not A Higher Power

| IL, USA | Liars & Scammers, Top

(I overhear my coworker’s portion of a call.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling [account name]. My name is [name]. May I have your name and membership number, please?”

(Looking at his screen, I can tell the account information he’s given pulls up a woman’s account.)

Coworker: “Thank you, sir. Now, I see that this account is under a woman’s name. Are you calling for a wife or family member?”

(While he does this, he’s checking the account to see if anyone besides the account holder has permission to speak.)

Coworker: “Okay, well, I’m very sorry to say this sir, but you are not authorized to speak on this account. Your wife would need to contact us.”

(A moment or two passes.)

Coworker: “Sir, placing me on hold for a few seconds, and then trying to speak in a higher voice will not fool me into thinking you are your wife. Especially as you already told me that she is out of town, in a meeting, and cannot call us herself.”

Weekly Roundup: Call Center Chronicles

| Not Always Right | Roundups

Call Center Chronicles! They may seem faceless, but call center employees are constantly faced with anger, stupidity, and difficult customers on a daily basis!

  1. Nothin’ Like Some Tough Lovin’ (3,951 thumbs up)
    A caller finds out the “childish” cause of some adult card charges, and dishes out some adult justice!
  2. He Wants The Google (2,586 thumbs up)
    A tech-illiterate customer finds out the expensive, multi-billion dollar difference between *using* Google and *buying* Google.
  3. That’s Assuming If A Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood (5,986 thumbs up)
    If you ask this call center employee a stupid question, you’ll get a bunch of woodchucks!
  4. The Commute Must Be Out Of This World (2,778 thumbs up)
    A surveyer makes a very, very, very long-distance call… to the planet Qinjax.
  5. Even Paranoid Racist Nutjobs Have Bad Days (4,203 thumbs up)
    A racist caller finds out that bigotry is no challenge for diversity!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!