Mobile Strike

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | May 10, 2017

(With our credit cards, if you purchase your airline ticket on them, we give you free travel insurance. The PDS (Product Disclosure Statement) for this is available online only as a PDF.)

Caller: “I want a brochure sent out for the travel insurance. I don’t want to have to print it out.”

Me: “Well, you don’t need to print it out. You can just download it, then email it to yourself so you can access it overseas on your phone if you need to.”

Caller: “I don’t have a mobile phone.”

Me: “Sir, there is a mobile number on your file, and I can see that you’re calling from it.”

(He hung up.)

Not A Good Friday

| Lincolnshire, IL, USA | Right | May 8, 2017

(This occurs on Monday after Easter weekend.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I want to know why my delivery was delayed. It was supposed to be delivered last week.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. Let me take a look at your order.”

(I get her information to retrieve the order on my computer. The original delivery estimate and current status come up first, so I give her that while waiting for the tracking history details to come up.)

Me: “I show that the package was originally estimated for delivery on Friday, but the driver was not able to deliver, so it is on a truck for delivery today.”

Customer: “Can you tell me why they weren’t able to deliver it on Friday?”

Me: “Did you close early on Friday for the holiday weekend?”

(Note: Many of our customers the previous week had been telling us they would close early on Friday, or even be closed the entire day, so that we could schedule their delivery around that. Her order did not have any notations about that.)

Customer: “No, we didn’t. We were closed all day on Friday.” *pause* “I guess that would explain it, wouldn’t it?”

Me: “Yes, that would explain it.”

Where Gun Control Is In Control

| England, UK | Right | May 4, 2017

(I used to work in the National Recruitment Centre for the British Army, and dealt with a lot of candidates applying to join. I was responsible for contacting candidates to stream them into the correct profession and often received a lot of phone calls with candidates asking me questions. The phone rings.)

Me: “Good morning, this is the National Recruitment Centre. [My Name] speaking. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Hi. Yeah, I just wanted to ask you a few questions about my application.”

(This is a voice I recognise, and I realise I’ve dealt with this customer before. I do the usual security checks to confirm his identity before I can discuss his application.)

Me: “Okay, thank you for calling. What exactly can I help you with?”

Caller: “I wanted to ask about the basic training when I start.”

Me: “Sure, what about it?”

Caller: “Is it true that the fitness regime is difficult?”

Me: “Well, I’d be lying if I said it was easy. I’ve got an example of the training circuits I can send to you by email, as well as the details of the minimum fitness, if you like?”

Caller: “Okay, that would be perfect. I look forward to receiving it.”

Me: “I will do. Anything else I can help with?” *thinking this is an easy call*

Caller: “One more. When they give us the gun in training, would I be allowed to take it home and teach my kids to shoot with it?”

(This question surprised me. In the UK we don’t tend to just give guns to people for them to keep and have fun with.)

Me: “It’s… not really YOUR gun, sir. It’s not part of the kit they give you to keep.”

Caller: “Oh, that’s a shame. Well, would I be able to bring my own gun to training with me?”

*speechless*

Feeding Their Opinions

, | CA, USA | Working | May 1, 2017

(I work for a tech company in their call center. Because it’s a call center, they often bring in free food to boost morale. It’s usually pizza, which is my absolute favorite food. I also tend to be a very fast walker. This means that I’m almost always the first one to the pizza table. I can’t help it; little things excite me. I guess this is enough to catch the eye of a supervisor who has never even supervised my team.)

Supervisor: “There goes [My Name]. She’s always first to get the pizza!”

(Or one time, when I walked past her desk and noticed some candy, I asked politely if I might have some.)

Supervisor: “Well, this candy is for MY team only, but if you insist.”

Me: *starts to decline, walk away*

Supervisor: “You already asked, so you might as well take some.”

(It’s gotten to the point now where she makes a comment every time she sees me eating something. One day very recently, she was walking through the rows with cupcakes.)

Me: *puts on my headset and focuses heavily on my screen, to avoid conversation with her*

Supervisor: “[My Name], cupcake.”

Me: *puts on a polite smile and shakes my head* “No, thanks!”

Supervisor: “WOW. Really?! That’s gotta be the first time I’ve ever heard you say no to food!” *starts to leave, then looks back* “No offense.”

Trying To Break You

| MI, USA | Working | April 28, 2017

(I’m on break at a call center when a coworker comes over.)

Coworker: “Are you on break?”

Me: *looks at a coffee cup in one hand, cell phone in the other, headphones over my ears, Facebook on my monitor, and a sign saying I’m on break on my desk under his hand*

Coworker: “Oh. Well, do you have a sec?”

Me: “…yeah.”

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