Two Girls, Three-Hundred Cups

| White Bear Lake, MN, USA | Working | January 3, 2017

(My mom works in a call center that takes orders for homecoming supplies for high schools – banners, cups, foam hands, etc. In between calls she will look at orders, because whenever there’s customization, there can be typos. Luckily, this one she manages to catch before printing:)

Mom: “I think this order needs to be reviewed again before being processed.”

Coworker: “What’s wrong with it?”

Mom: “I don’t think they want 300 cups that say ‘The Red Hot Loins.’”

Trumpanomics

| WA, USA | Right | December 21, 2016

(I work selling insurance at an inbound call center for a well known company. This is set two or so days after the election and I still can’t believe it.)

Me: “All right, miss, your monthly premium for just yourself with be [some ridiculous number in the $600 range].”

Customer: “What? Even though Trump won?!”

(I sit there for a good 10 seconds with dead air, trying to comprehend that statement.)

Me: “Miss, the presidential election has no effect on the premium prices that were set for next year.”

Customer: “Oh…”

Complaining To Have Nothing To Complain About, Part 3

| USA | Right | December 16, 2016

Me: “Hello, [Tech Support].”

Caller: “FINALLY! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to pick up the d*** phone?

Me: “Let me see… 36 seconds, sir.”

Caller: “Exactly! I can’t believe… Wait, what?”

Me: “You were on hold for exactly 36 seconds before I got to you.”

Caller: “…really? You can tell that?”

Me: “As soon as your call enters the queue it generates a note of the time you called in. Yours was logged at [time] which was just about 36… well, 46 seconds ago, now.”

Caller: “Well… it felt longer than that. D*** it now what am I supposed to do? This… this has never happened before!”

Me: “Did you have a tech related issue to report?”

Caller: “Uh, I think so… I can’t remember now! I… you’ve thrown my whole thought process off!”

(He hangs up. A little while later I pick up another call, and notice it’s the exact same number.)

Me: “Hello, [Tech Support].”

Caller: “Thank God! Do you know how long I’ve been on hold? Waiting for you to get off your damn a** and help me?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Huh?”

Me: “According to the time stamp you had a wait of 26 seconds this time before I got to you. That’s a pretty good improvement over your previous call.”

Caller: “For the love of God! Look, your stupid intro recording says I might experience higher than average wait times! What am I supposed to do if you then immediately answer the phone?”

Me: “Be glad you didn’t have to wait for very long and enjoy getting your issue resolved promptly?”

(He grumbled all the way through the troubleshooting process, complaining about how we shouldn’t be so quick to answer calls or be able to track the amount of time a customer has been on hold.)

Related:
Complaining To Have Nothing To Complain About, Part 2
Complaining To Have Nothing To Complain About

This Is Why We’re In A Recession

| UK | Learning | December 14, 2016

(I work in a call centre for an arms length government agency that finances students. Half the time I wonder how any of them got into university.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Agency]. How may we help you?”

Caller: “Where the h*** is my payment?”

Me: *passes through security* “Okay, can you confirm which academic year you haven’t received a payment for?”

Caller: “2016/17.”

Me: “You haven’t applied for that academic year.”

Caller: “Oh, I haven’t? If I apply online today how long will it take to get payment?”

Me: “Applications can take six to eight weeks to complete depending on your circumstances. Once fully approved, payment will be made within three-to-five working days depending on your banks processing times.”

Caller: “HOW AM I MEANT TO SURVIVE SIX TO EIGHT WEEKS WITHOUT ANY MONEY?!”

Me: *face-palms*

Related:

From: Not Always Right:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 62
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 61
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 60

The Father Aced Misogyny 101

| CT, USA | Learning | December 12, 2016

(I work in a call center for the admissions office at my university, and we mostly make outgoing calls to prospective and admitted students to tell them about the school. My office is staffed by all female students, and my boss is also female.)

Me: “Good evening. My name is [My Name], and I’m a student calling from [University]. Is [Prospective Student] available?”

Father Of Student: “Umm… What is this regarding?”

(This is a common reaction to our cold calls, so I’m not surprised.)

Me: “I’m just calling because I see that [Prospective Student] showed interest in [University], and I wanted to see if he had any questions.”

Father Of Student: “Oh, I see. Well, he might, but would it be possible to speak to a man about this?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Father Of Student: “Yes, in my opinion, men are generally more intelligent and would be more able to help.”

(At this point I am dumbfounded and my coworkers have all popped their heads above their cubicles to listen.)

Me: “Sir, there are no men who work at this office. I am more than happy, and more than capable, of answering any questions you or your son may have.”

Father Of Student: “There are no men?”

Me: “Correct. We have an all-female staff.”

Father Of Student: “Well… Your boss must be a man, then.”

Me: “My boss is female as well.”

Father Of Student: “That’s crazy! How do you get anything done?!”

(I take a long pause, not willing to dignify his rude question with a response.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with tonight, sir?”

Father Of Student: “No, that will be all.” *slams phone down*

Me: *in response to my coworkers’ questioning looks* “I don’t think his son will be attending.”

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