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2nd Floor, Ward B, To Be Specific…

| UK | Extra Stupid

Me: “Could I take your name?”

Customer: “It’s [Name].”

Me: “And your date of birth?”

Customer: “That’s [date].”

Me: “And could I take your place of birth?”

Customer: “…The hospital?”

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Email Fail, Part 7

| TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am trying to help a customer return a clothing item while using the pre-paid return label.)

Customer: “Can you send the return label to my desktop and not my laptop?”

Me: “Okay, what’s the email you would like me to use to send the label?”

Customer: “The one for my desktop.”

Me: “Well, our records don’t indicate which one that is. Can you tell me the address?”

Customer: “It’s [email address]. Make sure you put in the information line desktop so the desktop knows the email is for it.”

Me: “Okay, I just sent it.”

Customer: “You sent it to my laptop.”

Me: “Can you not access that email for both computers?”

Customer: “Why does everyone always ask me that?”

Me: *sighs*

Related:
Email Fail, Part 6
Email Fail, Part 5
Email Fail, Part 4

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Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 5

| Belleville, WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

(I work for a company that sells sturdy, high-quality clothing for outdoor and physically-intensive activities. The prices tend to be higher than your average big-box clothing, but the quality and durability is such that most people are glad to pay a little extra for something they know is dependable. We are having one of our biggest sales. I’m taking catalog orders over the phone.)

Caller: “I want the [Popular Jacket, which is currently 50% off]. That should be $35.50 today, is that right?”

Me: “It’s coming up as $39.95. Let me double-check that.”

Caller: *already irate* “It’s half off, that makes it $35.95! I got the email about it this morning!”

Me: “I just checked. Normal price is $79.90, so 50% off is $39.95.”

Caller: “50% off is $35.50! What the hell kind of con game are you playing?!”

Me: “Umm, no. Half of $79.90 is $39.95. I just ran it through my calculator.”

Caller: “Hrmph. Fine, I’ll take that price. What’s my total?”

Me: *punching up the total* “After shipping, that comes to $49.90. How would you like to pay for that today?”

Caller: “WHAT?! There’s supposed to be free shipping! It’s right on your website; it says ‘free shipping for orders of $75 or more.’ I ain’t paying no $10 for shipping!”

Me: “Are there other items you’d like to order? Maybe we can bring this order up to where it quail—”

Caller: “No. This is all I’m getting. And you are waiving the shipping for me. I’m a first-time customer, and you’re gonna lose me if you don’t get rid of that shipping charge right now.”

Me: “I don’t have the authority to make that decision. Would it be all right if I put you on hold for just one minute while I ask my supervisor for permission to do that?”

Caller: “You ask whomever you need to, but I am not paying that shipping!

(I put the customer on hold and call the Assist line, which is essentially a group of supervisors there to answer questions when any call center agents need help.)

Assist: “Assist, this is [Supervisor].”

Me: “Hi, I have a customer on the line who wants me to waive shipping on a $39.95 order.”

Assist: “What all is on the order?”

Me: “Just [Popular Jacket]?”

Assist: “That’s already on a pretty steep discount. How’s their order history? Are they a regular customer?”

Me: “First time. And frankly, he’s being kind of combative about it.”

Assist: “No. He’s saving $40. We’re not waiving shipping.”

Me: “I thought so, but he was arguing enough that I kind of wanted backup.”

Assist: “Understandable. And I’m definitely backing you up. Tell him you don’t have permission. We’re already giving him 50% off; we’re not going lower than that.”

(I can almost hear the unspoken “we don’t need customers that petty” in her tone. I go back to my caller and tactfully explain that I did not get permission to waive the shipping fee.)

Caller: “Fine. You’re company is a bunch of greedy scam artists. I’ll just wait for it to go lower. Cancel the order. Goodbye!”

Me: *thinking to myself* “This is the lowest I’ve ever seen it go, and we’re selling out of things left and right. You’re going to be waiting a long time, buster! And you just gave up a $40 discount over $9.95.”

Related:
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 4
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability ToDiscount, Part 3
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 2