A Tow-tal Breakdown

| Lexington, KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Transportation

(I work at a roadside assistance call center. I take calls for customers who need a tow, tire change, unlocking, etc…)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; are you in a safe location?”

Caller: “Hello? I need you to tow my car.”

Me: “All right, where is the car located?”

Caller: “I don’t know. That’s why I need you to get it.”

Me: *thinking she broke down and didn’t know where she was* “Okay, what city are you in?”

Caller: “Me? I’m in Cincinnati. That’s where you can bring it when you get it.”

Me: “Oh, is someone else with the car?”

Caller: “Yeah, my boyfriend.”

Me: “Okay… Do you want to have him call me with an address of the car’s location?”

Caller: “He’s not answering his phone.”

Me: “Well, we need to know where the car is in order to tow it somewhere.”

Caller: “Are you listening to me? I don’t know where it is! My boyfriend got mad and took off with it! That’s why I need you to bring it back!”

Me: “Ma’am, we can’t tow a vehicle unless we know where it is.”

Caller: “Why the heck not?”

Me: “Where would we send the tow truck? If you don’t know where the car is, how do you expect us to find it?”

Caller: “Well, what else am I supposed to do? He took my car without my permission!”

Me: “Perhaps you should call the police.”

Caller: “You know what? That’s a great idea!” *click*


Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 14

, | Houston, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Popular, Technology

(I work for a large cell phone provider.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cell Phone Provider]. This is [My Name]. How may I assist you today?”

Caller: “Yes. Every time my phone rings and I try to answer it, my phone shuts off. It happens every time.”

Me: “Well, that is pretty odd. Let me see if I can figure out what the issue with your handset is.”

(After spending almost an hour trying to look up account info and diagnose what could possibly be wrong with this woman’s phone with no luck, I am about to give up and replace the phone.)

Me: “So that I can write up in your account what exactly is happening so we can replace your phone, what button are you pushing when trying to answer the phone?”

Caller: “The ‘Push When Ringing’ button.”

Me: “I’m sorry, which button?”

Caller: “’Push When Ringing.’ You know? P-W-R.”

Me: “I think I know the problem…”

Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 13
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 12
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 11


The Concert Was For ‘Lady Georgia-Georgia’

, | Language & Words

(A customer has reached our call center to ask for more information about his tickets. Often, seating designations may be abbreviated on the tickets we mail out, and, in this case, the abbreviation is similar to another state’s two-letter postal abbreviation.)

Customer: “I have a question on my tickets. I can’t find the Georgia Standing area on the map.

Me: “I’m sorry; I’m not familiar with the Georgia Standing area. Is that how it’s written on your tickets?”

Customer: “Yeah, it says ‘GA STANDING.’”

(Now whenever our concerts have a General Admission Standing area, we all call it Georgia Standing!)


This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 55

| Mexico | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work for a telecommunications company in the billing department. We usually get calls about promotions and gift cards sent to customers as flyers. The card is made out of paper and is just for promotion, so they have no value.)

Me: “Hello and thanks for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, today I received a gift card and want to know how to use it.”

(While the card has no name on it, it can be used at locations to pay for purchases.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, you can use it to pay at stores, but not online since the card is not personalized and does not have a name or address attached to it.”

Customer: “No, no, I mean, how can I start using it?”

Me: “You mean to activate it? We would just have to speak with the gift card department and they can take the number and have it ready for you in a few minutes.” *feeling, however, that she is a bit doubtful about the card itself* “May I ask what the number is?”

Customer: “1234 5678 9100 0000.”

Me: “Ma’am, that is not a card. It is just a flyer that informs you that if you sign up with us, you can be eligible for a card of that value.”

Customer: “But it says I have $200! I want to have the money. Activate it now!”

Me: *feeling that it will just go downhill from here on* “Ma’am, the card is made out of paper and no business will take it as a payment method. Even the number is invalid since no card starts with a 1, or has a number that easy to guess.”

(The customer rambles for a few seconds and says we are all a bunch of scammers and that she would contact every news channel as well as the police to have us arrested before hanging up.)

Me: *to Coworker* “Am I supposed to travel to the U.S. to be arrested? Or shall I wait for them to come get me?”

Coworker: “I only want to see the news: Woman can’t distinguish card from paper flyer.”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 54
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 53
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 52


Crazy From Eight Ways To Sunday

| UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work for a broadband and telephone company. I am on the ordering provisioning team who arranges for telephone lines to be installed. I am dealing with a returning customer.)

Me: “Ma’am, are you sure you want to port your phone number into our network? That can take up to 10 working days. If we set you up with a new number you could be connected by tomorrow.”

Customer: “No, I worked very hard for that number. It has no eights you see. It’s why I left your company in the first place.”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “I don’t like the number eight. On my last bill with your company there was a call charged at £8.88… The phantom phone call. I want to keep my number.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am. I’ll order this now and be in touch over the next 24 hours.”

Customer: “Do you have a number I can contact you on?”

Me: “Certainly, it’s 028—”

Customer: *gasps and hangs up*

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