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Has No License To Be Psychic

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests

(I work for an electronic toll road and we often get vehicle updates from our customers. This situation happens more often than it should.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m calling to update my license plate number. I got a new car and want to add it to my account.”

Me: “That’s great! Congratulations on the new car. What is the new plate number?”

Customer: “Oh, umm… I didn’t know I would need that.”

Me: “Has your license plate changed?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And you would like to add the new plate to the account?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Then I will need to know the plate number so I can add it to your account.”

Customer: “Can’t you just find it for me?”

Me: “I don’t know where I can possibly look to find it. I’m afraid you’ll have to call back with the new information or add it to the account online.”

Customer: “You people are impossible!”

(I’m very sorry that I wasn’t gifted with psychic abilities in order to guess your plate information.)

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Email Fail, Part 8

| HI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “All right, Mr. [Customer]. Your flight date change has been confirmed and issued a new ticket for. All I need to do is to send you an email so let me verify the email address on file.” *reads back his Gmail address*

Customer: “No, no, no! That one is in Maui. I’m in Honolulu right now; I’ll give you another one.”

Related:
Email Fail, Part 7
Email Fail, Part 6
Email Fail, Part 5

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That’s One For The Log

, | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a call center for a financial institution; I receive some pretty interesting phone calls. I’m paranoid about submitting too many and getting fired, but I thought this small one might be funny.)

Me: “Thank you for calling customer service. [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: *says immediately without pulling up his account information* “I’m looking at my login ID screen.”

Me: *silence to make sure I don’t interrupt him, expecting to hear more about the problem* “Okay. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I can’t log in.”

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It’s Going To Be One Of Those Bays

, | Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre

(It is the last call of the night. The customer is in California.)

Customer: “You sound like you are from the Bay Area.”

Me: “That is funny, seeing I am on the other side of the country in Florida.”

Customer: “Of course, you sound like you are from there.”

Me: “From Florida?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “I don’t sound Spanish or country or like a snow bird.”

Customer: “No, but you sound middle-class.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “But it is my birthday; follow me on instagram.”

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 56

, | Montreal, QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at a bank. My caller does not understand why the $2500 cheque she deposited was returned, and now she owes the bank.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, the cheque was fraudulent, and there was nowhere to receive the funds so we had to withdraw the money from your account.”

Customer: “But why do I have to pay back if the cheque was a fake cheque?”

Me: “…because you spent all the money.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I did not know it was a fraudulent cheque.”

(This is BS, because she withdrew $2000 as soon as she deposited and then another $500 the next day.)

Me: “Yes, but you still spent the money, so you should go back to the person that gave you the cheque and ask him to give you a new one. Then you can simply deposit it again and you will be fine.”

Customer: “Yeah, well, I don’t know where to find him since he left the country, but I don’t think I should be paying this money back because it was not my fault.”

Me: “Ma’am… did you spend the money or did someone else?”

Customer: “I spent it.”

Me: “Then you have to pay it back.”

Customer: “F*** you.” *hangs up*

Related:

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 55

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 54

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 53

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