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Always One Answer Ahead

| USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(I work in customer service for a large pharmaceutical wholesaler. I speak to a lot of busy pharmacists who are too busy to listen to me, but this one took the cake!)

Customer: “Can you tell me when [item] will be back in stock?”

Me: “I’d be happy to help with that! Bear with me a few moments while I look it up, please.”

Customer: “Can you look it up?”

Me: “Certainly, it will just take a few seconds to populate.”

Customer: “Do you see it?”

Me: “It’s almost loaded… Okay, I do apologize, but it looks like my information for this item is outdated. I will need to check with the distribution center for an update.”

Customer: “Can you find out from the distribution center?”

Me: “Yes, sir. I will send them a ticket and call you back with their response.”

Customer: “Will you call me back?”

Me: “Yes. May I verify your phone number is [number]?”

Customer: “Thank you! Bye!”

(Fortunately, it was the correct number. I was worried, since he didn’t seem to hear most of anything else I had said!)

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Credited With The Best Solution

| BC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Money

(I work for the phone company and, like any other company, prices, promotions, and packages changed over time. I get a call from this customer who has a grandfathered single-line package for $20.95/month that due to some error got changed to the going price of $21.00/month for the same package. The customer calls in to complain. )

Customer: “My price got changed and now I’m paying more! I’m very angry!”

Me: “Yes. I can see what happened. There mus—”

Customer: *cutting me off in mid-word* “I demand to be given the old price back.”

Me: “The old price was grandfathered but we should be abl—”

Customer: *cutting me off again* “I’m sick and tired of you people always cheating me on my bill. I want to talk to a manager!”

Me: “I was going to suggest giving you a $5.00 credit. That would cover you for the next eight years and then you could call back in for another credit at that time.”

Customer: “F*** you, a******!” *click*

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Waiting Your Turn Takes A Turn

| Canada | Hotels & Lodging

(I work for a call center to book hotel reservations. A client calls in asking for the hotel itself. This happens all the time when the client thinks that we are the hotel when we are just a booking agency.)

Me: “How can I assist you?”

Guest: “I’m looking for the hotel.”

Me: “You’ve reached a booking agency. How can I help?”

Guest: “Oh, no, I’m already at the hotel. I’ve called down to the front desk but they aren’t answering the phone.”

Me: “They are probably busy. Why don’t you head down to the front desk to see if someone can assist you personally?”

Guest: “I was down there and they are really busy!”

Me: “…”

Guest: “You mean I have to wait?”

Me: “Yes…”

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Email Fail, Part 9

| Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Hello! You’ve reached [Company]. How can I help you today!”

Customer: “This is an outrage! I received your coupon email, but it won’t work on your site!”

Me: “Okay, could I please have the coupon code to check it?”

Customer: “Which coupon code? I have nothing like that!”

Me: “Oh, I thought you said you had received an email. Wasn’t there a coupon code there?”

Customer: “You mean I have to READ the email?!”

Related:
Email Fail, Part 8
Email Fail, Part 7
Email Fail, Part 6

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This Is Not Their Calling

| Kansas City, KS, USA | Bad Behavior

(I facilitate conference calls, and one of my duties is to call people to connect them to their call. I’m calling a client to connect them to a scheduled call when this happens.)

Me: “Hello, Mr. [Client]. I’m calling from [Conference Center] to connect you to—”

Client: “What is this all about? I don’t have a call today!”

Me: “I have you scheduled to attend [Call Title] today at [Time]—”

Client: “Bull-s***! That call isn’t today! You people NEVER get our calls right! DON’T CALL ME BACK!”

Me: “But, sir, I have [Attendee Name #1], [Attendee Name #2], and [Attendee Name #3] holding on the line and they are waiting for you to join so they can begin the conference!”

Client: “Well, why are you wasting so much time? People are WAITING for me! Put me in the d*** call already!”

Me: *face-palm* “One moment, sir.”

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