Unfiltered Story #102215

, , | Unfiltered | December 31, 2017

I had a particularly nasty co-worker, John, once. His MO was bitching until he got what he wanted; it usually worked. One day he was phoning customer service for something. It’s on speakerphone. He calls, complains, they won’t help him, and he demands to talk with a supervisor. They put him on hold. A little while later someone comes on, “I’m the supervisor, how may I help you?” John, YELLING, “I’ve been on hold for over an hour waiting for you &*@# to #%@.” Supervisor (in a perfectly calm voice): “Funny, my call timer shows you called six minutes ago.” John (defeated): “Well, it felt like hours…” Caught at his own game… A true happening.

Unfiltered Story #102214

, , | Unfiltered | December 31, 2017

(I work at a sporting goods store and our fitness department will have a few displays of punching bags. Since the punching bags are for display purposes only, we discourage customers from punching the punching bags for they could fall down because of loose screws. A customer’s son is punching a punching bag pretty hard)

Me: Can you not punch that please? The punching bags are for display purposes only.

Customer #1: He’s just testing it out. Isn’t that why they are there?

Me: They are for display purposes only.

(I walk to the register because I have a customer waiting to be rung up.)

Customer #1: (as she walks out the door with kids following behind) Well then I guess they don’t want to sell anything to us.

Customer #2 that’s at the register: (turns to me talking about customer #1) It’s common sense, lady. She didn’t have to b**** about it.
(he really made my day. :D)

Re-shelving Them Out The Door

, , , , , | Working | December 30, 2017

(I am a sales representative and I have to work with some pretty new assistant managers. They tend to make me do all the work around the store while they stay behind the register, even during dead hours, diddling on their phones. As one of the very few representatives willing to work nights, I never have a chance to bring it up to the manager since she is never around during the days I work. I have just returned from a week-long trip to visit my girlfriend in another state, and surprise, surprise, my general manager also was out of town for one less day than I was during that same period. The day I return, the general manager is the one behind the counter.)

Me: “No [Assistant Manager #1] today?”

General Manager: “Oh, no, [Assistant Manager #1] isn’t working with us anymore.”

Me: “Oh, well, what about [Assistant Manager #2]? Is he off today?”

General Manager: “Also not working with us anymore.”

Me: “Both of them quit?”

General Manager: “No, they were fired. I was working with [Assistant Manager #1] yesterday morning, and a customer told me she couldn’t get into the dressing rooms. I went to check and found out that [Assistant Manager #1 and #2] were dumping all the re-shelves into the least-used dressing room for the entire week. It was so bad that you could barely open the door without having to force it open with your shoulder. So, I yelled at the both of them.”

Me: “Wow, so, you fired them on the spot?”

General Manager: “No, I was expecting them to pick up their act. Instead they gave me two weeks notices for a ‘Hostile Work Environment’ this morning. I told them they can’t quit a job they don’t have anymore.”

Unfiltered Story #102211

, , , | Unfiltered | December 30, 2017

(I am a door greeter for a lesser known home improvement warehouse. We cater to contractors, and try to have relaxed rules to keep them happy. One of those relaxed policies is that we allow any and all dogs in our store. It is my first week, and I’ve noticed a customer walk in with a dog.)

Me: “Hello, welcome! What a cutie!”

Customer: “Aw, thanks!” (To dog:) “We were complimented!”

Me: (To a coworker) “We allow dogs right?”

Coworker: “Yeah. It’s not like they ever cause any trouble.”

(Hardly five minutes later, a man comes in with an overweight, sickly looking weiner dog with crusty fur.)

Me: “Hello!”

Customer: “Euh, hey.”

(The man and his dog barely make it past the registers before the dog defecates all over the floor, much to the horror of everyone nearby. The man cleans it up with a paper towel, then hands in a small item to our cashier.)

Customer: “Just this.”

Coworker: (practically gagging) “Uhh.. o-okay.”

(after the customer leaves)

Me: “What’s wrong? I thought he cleaned it up!”

Coworker: “He did.. but didn’t wash his hands.. and he got crap on the scanner!”

(It was a miserable time for everyone. Thankfully, nothing that gross has happened since! We still allow dogs!)

Beats Hard But Can’t Stick The Landing

, , , , , , , | Working | December 29, 2017

(I am giving a dateless young coworker tips on attracting women. We’re both men.)

Me: “Do all that, and you’ll have the beat them off with a stick!”

Young Coworker: *annoyed* “I’ll beat you off with a stick!”

Me: “Your hand will be fine.”


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