Customer: “What’s in the White Chocolate Macadamia cookie?”

Me: “White chocolate and macadamias.”

Customer: “Oh, duh. That was a stupid question.”

Me: “It’s okay, people ask me all the time what kind of nuts are in the ‘Chocolate Almond Joy’.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, haha! Walnuts!”

This story is part of our Stupid Eaters roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Stories About Customers Who Were Dumber Than The Burgers They Ordered

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Read the Stupid Eaters roundup!

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Electronics Store]. What brings you in today?”

Customer: “I need an electronic English to Spanish dictionary.”

Me: “Okay, right this way.”

Customer: “Does it talk?”

Me: “No. We don’t sell translators here.”

Customer: “This isn’t a translator?”

Me: “It will translate English words to Spanish words, but it won’t speak them. It will only show you the text.”

Customer: “Well, that’s stupid! If I knew how to speak the d*** language, I wouldn’t need the d*** dictionary!”

This story is part of our Confused-With-Spanish roundup!

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Customer: “Oh, you have new pastries! They look great!”

Me: “Those are our new vegan baked goods. They’re also organic.”

Customer: “Ew! I never eat anything vegan!”

Me: “I doubt that. A lot of stuff is vegan. French fries are vegan.”

Customer: *looking mortified* “There’s no meat in French fries?!”

This story is part of the French Fry roundup!

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Read the French Fry roundup!

(I am checking out a customer buying an MP3 player.)

Customer: “Does this come charged?”

Me: “I don’t think so. Why?”

Customer: “Well, I want to listen to it on the way home.”

Me: “But there’s nothing on it.”

Customer: “There’s not? Where’s all the music, then?”

This story is part of our Musically Ignorant Customers roundup!

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(A customer comes in to pick up the portraits of her daughter she ordered. I go through the order with her to verify everything is there.)

Customer: “What is this on my daughter’s face?!”

Me: “Well, it looks like her skin has a red mark below her eye.”

Customer: “No! She doesn’t! She looked perfect when we came in and I didn’t see this on the computer before. You did something to them!”

Me: “I’m sorry you’re unhappy, but the photographs are exactly as they appear on the ordering screen. Also, this mark is on her face in the same spot in every pose, so it couldn’t be a printing problem.”

Customer: “Well, no. You’re wrong. You did something to them. My daughter is perfect!”

This story is part of the Customers-Are-Bad-Photographers roundup!

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