Me: “Hello there, sir. How can I help you?”
Customer: “I’m looking for batteries for this calculator.”
Me: “Okay, but just so you know, that calculator doesn’t really need batteries. It has little solar panels right on the front that power it.”
Customer: “Solar panels? I want to use this calculator indoors!”
(I work in a movie theater.)
Me: “Hey, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Turn off my phone!”
(She thrusts her cell phone at me, urging me to take it.)
Me: “Um… okay. One moment.”
(I look at the screen; the screen is blank.)
Me: “Are you sure it isn’t already off?”
Customer: “Turn off my phone!”
(I press one of the arrow keys to test if the phone is on, and the screen comes to life, informing me that the keypad is locked.)
Me: “Oh, it is on. But it’s locked. If you let me unlock it, I can–”
Customer: “I don’t want you touching my phone!”
Me: “But you–”
Customer: “Can you turn my phone off or not?”
Me: “No, sorry, I can’t.”
Customer: *taking back the phone* “If this goes off in the theater, it’s not my fault!”
This story is part of our Terrible Tech Support Calls roundup!
Read the next Terrible Tech Support Calls roundup story!
Read the Terrible Tech Support Calls roundup!
(A girl orders a cheeseburger and fries.)
Me: “All right, you want that for here or to go?”
(There is a long pause as she very loudly ‘hmms’ and ‘haws’ about this question, until finally:)
Customer: “…sweatshirts.”
Did you find this story on our Burger Day roundup?
Customer: “I need your assistance with these lights here. Do I just plug these into the dirt?”
Me: “They’re solar-powered, so you stick them into your lawn and they’ll charge during the day so they can shine during the evening. Right now they’re on clearance for $14.98.”
Customer: “How many batteries will I have to buy? I always get things like this on sale and then you trick me because I have to buy batteries.”
Me: “They’re solar-powered.”
Customer: “I just want to know how many batteries I need.”
Me: “Well, these particular lights only need one battery. It’s big and yellow and floats in the sky. It’s called the Sun.”
Customer: “Never mind, then. That sounds awfully expensive.”
Did you find this story on our World Environment Day roundup?
Me: “Please keep all hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the boat, and remember, pirates, no flash pictures!”
Guest: *takes flash picture*
Me: “Ma’am, please refrain from taking flash photographs on the ride.”
Guest: “I didn’t take a flash picture!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you did. Please turn your flash off or do not take pictures. It disturbs the other ride-goers.”
Guest: “I didn’t take a flash picture! My shirt is still on!”
